25 Signs You've Been British for Too Long

Zoe Samuel

Image: Alexander Spatari / Moment / Getty Images

About This Article

If there is one thing that the British at the height of the Victorian Empire can agree on with Britons of today, it is that Britishness can feel like a great weight sometimes, though, of course, for very different reasons. We put up a good show of keeping a stiff upper lip, but when the curtain comes down, that lip is stiff because Ernest Shackleton forced us to march through the Antarctic in a pair of shorts! We British define ourselves by our ability to carry on through tremendous suffering. What did people send their beloved sons, freezing to death during the Crimean war? Little knit hats. What did British explorers do when the locals said, "Don't go outside, you'll die"? They bloody well went outside. Being so stubborn and stoical, while dressed from head to toe in clothing totally unsuited to the weather, would wear down any person. Never the less, it is the British Way.

Perhaps it's time you considered being something in addition to or instead of being British. The French have some lovely food, and the Americans can turn right on red lights. There is much to recommend the rest of the world, as our forebearers discovered. Perhaps you're run down because you just work too hard at being British, and living up to our occasionally preposterous standards. We know you may need some assistance to get in touch with your feelings, so here are 25 signs you've been British for too long.

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