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About This Quiz
Being a veterinarian is a challenging calling indeed - but if you've got the right kinds of smarts, you might be able to make it work. Take this quiz to find out!
Are you good with money?
The best
I'm good.
No, my boo handles that.
I don't even know, that's how bad it is.
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How's your business sense?
I have run a successful business.
I have worked at a successful business.
I don't even see how this is related to being a vet.
Every job I get, the company goes under later.
Do you retain large quantities of information?
Yes, wanna hear a fact?
Yes, if it is relevant.
If it's interesting.
What was the question again?
Do you love animals?
As much as they love me.
I like most and love some.
I like them fine.
Yeah, but it isn't mutual.
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Do you have steady hands?
I am basically a machine.
Yes, mostly.
I mean, I can type, so I guess sort of.
I do until I inhale dander, then I shake uncontrollably.
Are you an effective communicator?
Yes, in many languages
Yes, with animals
Yes, with people
I don't know how to answer that.
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Do you stay calm under pressure?
I am a Zen master.
Unless someone's dying, then yes.
I guess, yeah.
I am very stressed out just thinking about the answer.
Do you know how to get dog hair off anything?
I have a lint roller in every pocket I own.
I have a clothing brush in my car.
I like having dog hair on everything.
No, you have to buy new things if that happens.
Do you have any allergies?
Nope
Mild hayfever
Peanuts
I have all the allergies. I have literally five Epi-Pens on me right now.
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Can you give bad news?
Yes, I don't like it, but I know it's important to do it well.
I can, but I'm not good at it.
I tell them Fido went to live on a farm upstate.
No, I just keep quiet - they'll figure it out when Fido never comes home.
Do you give good belly rubs?
The best - and I don't tickle while I do it.
I think so.
Yes, but sometimes I get too into it.
I can, but my nails aren't long enough to really get in there.
What do you think of people who have reptiles as pets?
That's their bag, good for them.
A little weird, but OK.
They're harmless freaks.
They're probably Satanists.
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Do you get on with people from all walks of life?
I sure do!
Only if they are kind to animals.
Only if they are smart.
Only if they are nice to me first.
Can you stay on your feet all day?
Yes, I am in tip-top shape.
Yes, if I wear my Crocs.
Yes, if I wear my knee brace.
No, I have a dodgy leg.
Do you mind doing lots of paperwork?
I love paperwork!
I can, but I outsource that when possible.
I hate it, I suck at it, but I do it.
Excuse me, the point of being a vet is to NOT have to do that.
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Could you put an animal to sleep if you had to?
Yes, it is the humane thing to do.
Yes, but I would cry.
No, I would feel like a monster.
No, that is against God's will.
If someone was cruel to an animal, how would you feel?
I would want to punch them.
I would want to report them.
I would want to cry.
I would want to video them and put it on YouTube.
Could you calm a fearful cat?
I have, many times.
Yes, and not even get scratched.
Yes, but I get a scratch or two.
No, cats can't be told what to do, that's how they are.
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Do you own your mistakes?
Of course, I'm a grownup.
When I have to.
Only if I get caught.
I don't make mistakes - that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Do you maintain a sense of humor when things go wrong?
You have to!
It helps.
That's not appropriate.
I don't have a sense of humor.
Can you tune out what's going on around you and really focus?
Yes, it's like I have Bose headphones in my mind.
Yes, if people cooperate.
Only if I really concentrate and nothing breaks into my line of sight.
Not really.
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How legible is your handwriting?
It's illegible, but that's why we use computers.
It's fine.
It's great.
It's perfect.
Are you punctual?
I'm early!
I'm on time.
I'm a little tardy once in a while.
I'm perpetually five minutes late.
Are you willing to go the extra mile?
I ran a marathon for animals rights, so literally yes.
Sure, when I have to.
If I'm really inspired.
I'd really prefer not, thanks.
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If someone brought in a badly-behaved pet, what would you do?
I would suggest education classes for the owner - it's always the owner in such cases.
I would observe that the pet is stressed out and hope the owner gets my drift.
I would say nothing.
I would chide the owner.
Do you look good in a lab coat?
Oh, baby, you should see me.
I look fine.
White is not my color.
I do not want to wear a lab coat, I'll look like a mad scientist.
Be honest: are you literally Doctor Doolittle?
Yes!
I'm Doctor Doolittle's cousin.
I met Doctor Doolittle once.
I don't know who that is.
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You Got: