Am I a Vampire?

By: Amanda Monell
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Am I a Vampire?
Image: D-Keine / E+ / GettyImages

About This Quiz

You're out and about doing your thing when you spot the most exquisite specimen of a human being to ever grace your presence. And as luck would have it, they've noticed you, too! Your first interaction is absolutely electric, moments feel like years, the world dissolves around you leaving you and them together. As you get to know them, they tell you about some strange habits they have, but you are willing to overlook anything to be with them. First, there will be no day dates; that's when they sleep. Then there's the fact that no matter how much you eat with them, you never see them take a bite of anything, even after you offer a nibble. And while we're on the subject of food, heaven help you if you eat anything with garlic in it; they have a rather nasty allergy to garlic in any form, even if it is just the scent of it. And when you visit, it is dark inside because all the windows are painted over. 

Is it possible that your new squeeze is a vampire? Or even worse, have you been turned into a vampire without realizing it? We've researched vampire lore to create a quiz designed to determine if you're a vampire. Are you courageous enough to take it?

Why do you think you're a vampire?
I crave blood.
Oh, I don't. I just want to see what the quiz says.
I don't like the sun.
People tend to gravitate toward me.

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If a vampire was about to bite you, which body part would you want them to bite?
My wrist
My neck
Anywhere is okay
My shoulder

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An angry mob armed with pitchforks and torches approaches your house just as dinner is about to be served. What do you do?
I grumble and get ready to defend myself.
I slip into the crowd and start working them into a frenzy so they fight among themselves.
I warn the others that the mob is coming.
I scream!

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Which of these items traditionally worn by a vampire do you think you'd add to your wardrobe?
A brooch
I don't like any of these.
A cape
A three-piece suit

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The police have been alerted to the existence of a vampire in your neighborhood. How do you react?
I'm not surprised at all.
I prepare myself for a fight.
I hope they bite me!
I am a little more cautious when walking around at night.

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As a vampire, you sometimes need to get a little creative to get your food. What way would you use to improvise a meal?
I'd go to a blood bank.
I'd probably drink animal blood.
I'd feast off one of my many servants.
I'd ration my food out, skipping meals.

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Werewolves are the sworn enemies of vampires. What would you do if you came across one?
Tell everyone I knew that I met one
I'd act surprised then avoid it from then on out.
I'd hiss and flee.
Befriend it

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Vampires have several different forms that they can shift into. What form sounds the most appealing to you?
Mist
Bat
Rat
Wolf

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While tying your shoes, you discover a knot in one of the laces. What do you do?
I untangle it.
I try to untangle it but give up.
I get a new lace.
I cut the knot out.

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When traveling to a new home, some vampires need to have the soil from their homeland with them. If you're on vacation, do you tend to pack everything in your home?
No, I leave some room for my companions if they need it.
I pack a lot, but not everything.
Yes
No

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If you ever were to run into a vampire's servant, you'd realize that they're just as creepy as their dark master. How many servants do you want to have?
Over 10
One at the most
Maybe five
Between six and nine

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Which of these fictional vampires do you think is the coolest?
Lestat from Anne Rice's "Vampire Chronicles"
Marcelline from "Adventure Time"
Dracula from Bram Stoker's "Dracula"
All of these vampires are cool.

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Heading out into the summer sun is something that most people enjoy. Are you one of them?
God no!
No, I burn easily.
I don't mind it, but it isn't my favorite thing in the world.
Yes

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Known for their speed and agility, vampires are usually hard to outrun. Do you think you'd be able to win a race against a vampire?
We'd tie.
No
They'd win by only a little.
I'd probably beat them.

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Becoming a vampire is quite the painful experience. Do you have a high tolerance for pain?
Yes
I guess.
I don't know.
Not at all

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Vampire society hinges on keeping the vampires' existences hidden. How are you at keeping secrets?
I'm an awesome keeper of secrets.
It depends on what I could gain by telling the secret.
It depends on what the secret is.
No

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If you get upset at someone, how do you react?
I mutter a curse at them.
I watch and wait for them to do something stupid.
I hiss at them.
I walk away.

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Just like going on a job interview, making a good first impression will get you places in vampiric society. Would you say that you're good at making a first impression?
Yes
If I try, I am.
I can make an impression, but it isn't good or bad.
Not at all

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As with every predatory creature, having some patience will be rewarded in that perfect kill. Do you consider yourself a patient person?
Kind of
No
Absolutely
I guess I have as much patience as the next person.

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If an acquaintance told you that they were a vampire, what would you do?
Laugh
Check their temperature
Start a conversation about their existence
Leave as soon as I could

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Oh no! You've been trapped in a room with a starving vampire. What happens next?
I fight them.
I talk my way out of the situation.
I willingly offer myself to them.
I somehow manage not to get eaten.

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Because vampires are immortal, there are varying ages and mentalities. How open are you to embracing different cultures?
I think I'm pretty open.
I haven't really been exposed to any cultures outside of my own.
Most definitely
I try to be open.

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Usually used as a safe haven, churches often shield humans from the undead. Do you feel at ease at church?
Of course, they're full of places to hide.
Not really
Churches have some really cool architecture, so I could get lost in there for hours.
Churches are too quiet for me.

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Many vampire crypts are covered in cobwebs and will often have mice and other critters patrolling the area. How do you handle creepy crawlies?
I do OK around them.
I do OK around them after a couple of cleansing breaths.
I avoid those kinds of things.
I freak out when I see them.

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Depending on the tale you read, some vampires are striking to look at and some ... well, aren't. What kind of vampire do you aspire to be?
A scary vampire with extra long fangs and claws
A vampire that isn't necessarily attractive, but charming
A beautiful vampire
I'm not sure.

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Even though a vampire's fangs are the most known weapon in its arsenal, their claws can be nasty, too. How long are your nails?
My nails are super long.
My nails are medium length.
My nails are short.
My nails are long.

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Has anyone ever told you that you were creepy?
As a joke, yes
Once or twice
Yes, but it is charming.
Yes

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One of the drawbacks of being a vampire is seeing all of your loved ones age and eventually die. How would you handle this?
I would handle it well because I would have disconnected from them long ago.
I honestly don't know.
I'd be OK with this because I knew it would be coming eventually.
Horribly

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Part of the charm of being a vampire is to manipulate others into doing your bidding. Are you comfortable with this?
I've been doing this kind of thing for years, so yeah, I'm pretty comfortable.
I'd ask someone to do something for me, not manipulate them into it.
Yes
Not at all

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If you could bring someone to join you as a vampire, who would you choose?
My child
My lover
My bestie
My parent

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You Got: