What Kind of Animal Mom Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
What Kind of Animal Mom Are You?
Image: Adria Photography/Moment Open/Gettty Images

About This Quiz

There are billions of creatures on God's green earth, divided up into hundreds of millions of species. Within each of these, there are different instincts and habits - what you might call traditions, if they were human - about how to parent. Many creatures in the insect realm have a sort of "spray and pray" bulk purchase approach to parenting, where they simply lay loads of eggs, cross their fingers, and hope for the best. However, others are more discerning, even including some fish or amphibian species whose closer cousins take more of an absentee approach.

Generally speaking, the most doting parents are mammals, birds, and marsupials. The first of these groups, in particular, give birth to live young, meaning that they invest heavily in their offspring and show real bonds of love. Some mammals, such as wolves, produce offspring who are ready to go into the world on their own in a single year, but others, such as elephants and orangutans, are heavily invested, taking years to nurture their babies to maturity and teach them the ways of the world.

Which of these denizens of the animal kingdom most inspires your particular mom style? It's time to find out!

Do you believe in providing a free range childhood?
Sure!
Yes, our area is very safe.
I'd better because I can't be there every minute.
Only if they are with a friend.

Advertisement

How much of the work of parenting - scheduling, communicating with school, discipline etc. - does your partner do?
Most of it
We split what we do evenly, but we can also afford a nanny so, we are very blessed.
I do it all.
I do the majority but it fluctuates and my boo steps up if I need him to,

Advertisement

What's your idea of an effective punishment?
Loss of privileges
Docking pocket money
Grounding
Time out

Advertisement

How many kids is too many?
Four
Three
Two
Five

Advertisement

Do you stay home with the kids?
No, my boo does, though!
No, and I barely took any leave.
I can't afford a luxury like that. I'm genuinely not sure whether I'd take it.
I did for a few months.

Advertisement

Does your household primarily revolve around the kids?
Of course!
No, we're not trying to raise little princes here.
No, I can't afford to shape life around them.
It fluctuates depending on everyone's needs.

Advertisement

Who pays the bills?
Mommy, mostly
Mom and Dad both do
It's all Mommy in this house.
Mom and Dad, but grandparents help

Advertisement

What paid childcare do you use?
Mostly just Dad does it, plus some daycare.
A nanny
I don't really have any.
Friends and I pool resources and take turns, plus we have a local day care.

Advertisement

What do you do if your child is sad?
Hug them, sing songs
Nothing; they'll tell me if they want. If it persists, consider a shrink.
Watch a movie together, to cheer them up.
I've taught them ways to cope but they always have me as a backup.

Advertisement

How often do you call if you have to go away for work?
Multiple times a day
Once a day
Whenever I can
Not much - they know I get busy.

Advertisement

Have you and your boo ever taken a trip without the kids?
Of course not, we are a family!
Many times
I do not have a boo (though, I totally would if I could!)
Yes, they can deal for a while.

Advertisement

How much do you judge other parents?
Not at all!
Constantly
I try not to but it's hard.
More than is polite

Advertisement

Including parents, regular babysitters, teachers etc., how many adults are on the "core cast list" of your child's life?
Parents, members of parent groups, teachers, relatives
Two parents, nanny, grandparents, teachers, priest
Just me
Parents, lots of other moms, neighbors, scoutmaster, priest, teachers, extended family, friends' parents...

Advertisement

Does it take a village?
It takes two!
No, but it does take more than two people.
I hope not because all I have is me.
Yes

Advertisement

Do you believe women are naturally better at raising kids than men?
Definitely not, this is learned.
Yes, but men can learn to be just as good.
Probably, yes
It really depends on the individual.

Advertisement

Do you trust anyone else entirely with the kids?
Yes, a few people in our local parent group
Yes, nannies and relatives
No, I have very few other supports.
Yes, lots of friends and neighbors, plus extended family

Advertisement

Do you expect your kids to be obedient?
Not really
We don't have a lot of rules but they have to keep the ones we have.
Yes, without question
Yes, but they can question

Advertisement

Other than learning to share and be nice, etc., what non-school skill do they learn from you?
Cooking
Business skills
DIY
All elements of running a household

Advertisement

Do you care what your children wear?
Whatever they like is fine.
Yes, they need to learn to dress for the occasion.
Yes, they need to look respectable.
Only on special occasions

Advertisement

Are your kids allowed to curse?
Sure
Only in private
I can't stop them
No, that's rude.

Advertisement

Do they get pocket money?
Yes, no matter what
Yes, with bonuses for good grades
I can't afford that.
Yes, conditional on their behavior

Advertisement

How involved is your family in your local community?
Extremely
Not much
Somewhat
Very

Advertisement

Do your kids call other grownups by their first name?
Of course!
Not until they're asked
No, it's always "sir" and "ma'am."
No, it's Mr./Mrs./Ms.

Advertisement

What correct assumption does society make about parents like you?
We're pretty granola.
We're pretty intense.
We're struggling.
We're fairly disciplinarian.

Advertisement

What wrong assumption does society make about parents like you?
We're weird.
We don't care.
We are lazy.
We are overbearing.

Advertisement

How old were you when you became a parent?
25
38
21
30

Advertisement

Would you be more upset if your child was bullied, or if they themselves were the bully?
If they were the bully
If they were bullied
Both would be equally bad.
It really depends on how bad it got.

Advertisement

When are you proudest of your kids?
When they are kind to other kids
When they work hard and succeed
When they do the right thing, even if it is hard
When they persevere in the face of failure

Advertisement

Obviously, you always love your kids, but what might they do that could really make you not like them very much for a little while?
Disobey a rule in a way that is actually risky
Act out in a way that endangers their bright future
Bully another kid
Disappear without letting me know where they went

Advertisement

What do you hope your child does when they grow up?
Anything that makes them happy
Something that means they can support themselves
Something respectable
Whatever is where their passion and skills intersect

Advertisement

You Got:

Featured