Answer Some Morally Questionable Questions and We'll Guess Your Cat’s Name

Ian Fortey

Image: retales botijero/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Cats have a weird way of sucking us in when they're kittens. They're all wide-eyed and adorable, and they act all ferocious, but they have very little strength so it's just cute and you encourage it. Then they get older and suddenly their claws hurt, and you bleed a little when they play, and it's a rough scene. Then you have to decide if the cat is still cute or not because it has some clear interpersonal issues and it's a whole big thing. 

Cats, as we can see, are not bogged down by concerns of morality. Scratching and biting you, the furniture or your guests is not a matter of good or bad to them. It's more of a fun thing. So if we want to apply morality to a cat, we have to do it ourselves on our terms. Our morality dictates how we understand a cat, not theirs. And our morality can even play a part in how we decided to name a cat. After all, the loser your morals, the more likely you are to give your cat more of what we might consider a colorful and unique sort of name. So answer some morally questionable things for us, and we'll tell you what your cat's name is!

Let's ease into this. Your grandma just gifted you a family heirloom, and it is straight-up ugly as sin. Would you re-gift or sell it?

You found a way to get out of work about 15 minutes early with no one noticing. Are you taking it?

You've been dating someone for a couple of months and maybe have a toothbrush at their place. Is it cheating if you send risque pics to someone online you have no intention of meeting?

You just witnessed a mugging, but the thing is, the guy who got mugged is a known drug dealer. Are you telling the cops what you saw?

It's Thanksgiving, and your uncle came in from out of town. He promptly starts telling you the most boring story in the history of all time. Will you lie to get away?

Your friend is on the rebound from a bad relationship. You discover the person they're seeing now is actually married. Are you telling them?

You're walking a dog, and it poops on the lawn of someone you don't like. You're out of poop bags. Will you get one and come back to clean up?

The person you love cooks you a meal for the first time ever and, if we're being honest, it is not good. Not good at all. Will you tell them?

The Amazon delivery guy drops a package at your house that you never ordered and it's something pretty cool. Are you keeping it?

This one will separate the true heroes from the villains. There's no sharing at the buffet. But if no one's looking, would you share?

Pot is legal all over the place now. Are you more or less likely to try it?

You're out with friends partying and someone you're really into starts flirting a lot. You can tell they're pretty drunk; how are you responding?

If someone is dying in serious pain with no chance of recovery, should euthanasia be an option?

You're just leaving the pet store with some food for the furball and you accidentally back into another car. There's a tiny dent but nothing major. No one saw. Now what?

A popular moral question deals with stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving family. What if you stole lobster, fingerling potatoes, and asparagus instead?

It's five minutes after your shift ends at work and your boss asks if you remembered to do something you totally didn't do but can do first thing tomorrow. Now what?

You see an accident across the street and run to help. Turns out it's the significant other and the person they're cheating on you with. Both need help. Now what?

You started your own business and it's doing well. You need to promote a Vice President. Do you pick your brother who isn't super qualified or someone from in the company who knows their stuff?

You're playing a friendly game of Monopoly and you're losing hard. When your friend goes to the washroom, are you going to scam some cash from the bank?

You're out for a walk and a half-block ahead someone drops $20 out of their pocket. You could use $20! Are you keeping it?

Someone is trash talking you while you're out with friends and you're pretty sure they're going to throw a punch any second. Are you going to strike first?

You and a good friend get marooned on an island together. You both end up getting really sick as a result of your injuries, but the medkit only has enough antibiotics for one. Now what?

How do you want the world to see you? Would you rather lose a hand or have something hateful and offensive tattooed on your face?

If someone you cared about did something really bad, would you take the blame if it meant you were saddled with a bad reputation for the rest of your life?

Let's say you just got pulled over for speeding. The cop rolls up to your window and not only are they smoking hot, but you also get the feeling they're flirting. Are you going to flirt back to get out of the ticket?

You really need some tape at home and they have like 100 rolls at work. Are you going to snag one?

You're on a flight across the ocean, and a flight attendant announces they have a free seat in first class. Tons of people want it. Are you willing to fake an illness to gain some sympathy and win the seat?

You and your friend are hanging out and they're hungry. You have a yogurt in the fridge, but it expired yesterday. Do you risk it?

Your cat peed on a guest's shoe. They didn't notice but you did. Now what?

Your significant other ran out for a little while and forgot their phone. It's also unlocked. Will you snoop?

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