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Answer These Totally Random Questions and We'll Tell You Which Creature Is Your Mythical Guardian

By: Zoe Samuel

4 min

Answer These Totally Random Questions and We'll Tell You Which Creature Is Your Mythical Guardian

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Our myths have given us thousands of creatures that reflect the primal fears and hopes of mankind, the things that we represent in our movies, comic books, and novels. Ancient humans didn't have science fiction because of course, they didn't have science. Their mythology was a combination of religion and science fiction.

As representations of our collective psyche, mythological creatures are intensely personal, connected inextricably to our most personal of traits. Fears about an endless array of problems produce the hydra, whereas impotent rage is what lies behind the Minotaur. An examination of one's personality will yield the details we need to tell you which of these monsters of myth appeals to your latent qualities.

Decisions we make every day reveal who we are. People often think the big decisions reveal us, but no one choice can outweigh thousands of choices made across years. Our habits, the random little things we do with our time, define who we are. It is that essence that determines the monsters that haunt us, and those who protect us.

Together, we will take a meandering walk through life, facing you with many choices. Your collective decisions will tell us what we need to know to answer what is your mythical guardian!

How big are your dreams?

My dreams are huge.

My dreams are small.

My dreams are averaged sized.

My dreams aren't so much big as very broad.

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Do you feel under threat by major world events?

Strangely not.

Sometimes.

Frequently.

Only when I'm out of my element.

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How do you like your eggs?

I like omelets.

I like my eggs sunny side up.

I like my eggs scrambled.

I like my eggs over easy.

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How much time do you spend doing DIY projects around your house?

Never. I pay people for that.

Frequently.

Rarely.

If I can fix it, I like to do it myself.

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How much specialist training did you need for your job?

I needed a four-year degree.

I needed an associate's degree.

None.

I needed four years plus grad school and constant, lifelong learning.

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How many close friends do you have?

I have a dozen close friends.

I have three close friends.

I don't have any close friends.

I have about a half dozen close friends.

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How stressful is your job?

Not very.

It's quite laid back.

I prefer to think of stress as "motivation."

It's shockingly stressful.

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How many different fields have you worked in?

I've worked in two fields.

I've worked in three fields.

I've worked in one field.

I've worked in six fields.

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What are your feelings towards the New York Yankees?

They're overpaid jerks.

Why do they get to buy up all the expensive free agents?

They're devils.

They're the greatest team in sports.

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Do you pay attention to The World Cup?

Obsessively.

I'll watch it if it's on.

No.

A little.

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How involved are you in your community?

Not very. I let it take care of me.

I do my little part.

I do nothing.

I'm a pillar of the community.

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How many sports did you play as a child?

I played two sports.

I didn't play any sports.

I played five sports.

I played three sports.

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How artistic are you?

In my little way, I am artistic.

I think I'm above average artistically.

I'm not artistic at all.

It's actually part of my job.

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How resilient are you, emotionally?

I'm very resilient emotionally.

I'm not very resilient emotionally: I'm sensitive.

I get crushed, and lash out.

I'm stoic.

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How much of a sweet tooth do you have?

Not much of one.

Gummy candies always break my will.

I like savory foods, not sweet ones.

Chocolate! Give me chocolate!

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How do you react when your computer has a major malfunction?

I try to keep calm and check what to do on YouTube.

I freak out and go to my friends for advice.

I hurl the computer against a wall and have a primal scream.

I calmly restart, and if the problem persists, I check on Google.

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How many bad habits do you have?

Just two.

Too many!

One, but it's a bad one.

Three, which I'm fighting hard.

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How many of your friends are a positive influence on you?

Most of my friends are a positive influence.

Just my closest friends are a positive influence.

None of my friends are a positive influence.

All of my friends are a positive influence.

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Do you have any hobbies you could do for money?

No.

Probably, on Etsy.

Maybe if someone wanted to see me play my instrument.

Sure, I used to do them for a living.

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Did you see the plot of the Lost finale coming?

No way!

I'm convinced it isn't really over.

I don't watch TV.

Yeah, from the first episode.

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Where do you live?

The city.

The suburbs.

The plains.

The mountains.

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How superstitious are you?

I'm a little superstitious: I don't step on cracks.

I'm very superstitious! I'm always afraid of bumps in the night and read my astrological report.

I'm very superstitious, but only about specific phenomena.

I'm not superstitious at all.

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How many times have you broken a bone?

I've broken a bone twice.

I've never broken a bone.

I've broken a bone six times.

I've broken a bone four times.

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How many countries have you visited other than your homeland?

Two.

Zero.

One.

Seven.

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Are you close to your parents?

I'm somewhat close to my parents.

As close as I can be, since we don't live near each other.

We're estranged.

I'm very close to my parents.

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What genre of music do you like best?

Classical.

Hip-hop.

Heavy metal.

Classic rock.

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How many cars have you owned in your lifetime?

I've never owned a car.

I've owned two cars.

I've owned a car.

I've owned three or more cars.

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How many bachelor/bachelorette parties have you been to?

I've been to two parties.

I haven't been to any parties.

I've been to one party.

I've been to three parties.

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When you are presented with a sandwich, a pickle, fries, and a drink, what do you attack first?

The pickle!

The drink!

The sandwich!

The fries!

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Which mythology appeals to you the most?

Greek mythology.

Norse mythology.

Eastern European mythology.

Middle Eastern mythology.

You Got:

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