Are you a vampire?

By: Staff
Image: refer to hsw

About This Quiz

Have you been feeling a little off lately? Like maybe something's not quite right? Ordering your steaks extra, extra bloody? If you score above a 15 in this quiz, you might want to avoid holy water and garlicky foods for quite some time, or, you know, an eternity.

The sight of blood makes your stomach rumble something fierce.

It's one thing to like your steak cooked rare, but quite another if your reaction to a bucket of blood is: "Oh, yum!" That's not a good sign.

Your intellect has diminished mightily.

Now, if you were a zombie this might be the case, but vampires are renowned for their savvy smarts. Unless you're a vampire with a drinking problem, then all bets are off.

You're clumsy and oblivious to pain.

Again, if this is the case, you might want to get checked out for a zombie diagnosis. Vampires are rarely clumsy and oblivious to pain.

You have seemingly supernatural strength.

Insane strength could be an indicator that you've become a vampire, but there are lots of other supernatural creatures who would give strongmen a run for their money. We need more proof.

You hate going outside on sunny days.

While it's true vampires are known to be extremely adverse to sunlight, a preference for dark nights as opposed to bright days isn't really enough to diagnose you as an undead uber predator. (Sorry, Goth kids. No hard feelings, right?)

You hate going church. Like, really hate going to church.

Vampires certainly aren't fans of holy water or crucifixes, but it'd be a stretch to say not enjoying church made you a vampire all on its own. It would, however, greatly disappoint your grandmother.

You can turn into a bat.

Vampires are often portrayed as being able to turn into other animals, among them bats and, on occasion, wolves. If you are able to do this, then yes, you might be a vampire.

You remember someone biting you on the neck.

A little kiss is one thing. If someone has chomped down and actually drawn blood from your neck, however, that should give you pause.

Garlicky food gives you more than gas.

Not a garlic lover? Pretty sure that doesn't make you a shoo-in candidate for vampire status. But keep going ...

People scream when they see you.

Vampires are usually supposed to be able to blend in with human populations fairly easily. If you're doing it right, common folk shouldn't be screaming in the streets when you pass by.

You've been alive a really, really long time.

If you've seen well over a hundred birthdays and are still fit and healthy, vampirism is one possibility. Since you could still be a mutant or a robot, though, we'll need more proof.

A full moon makes you grow hairy.

If you get particularly furry when the moon hangs full, you might be a werewolf, but it's unlikely you're a vampire.

You're super sexy.

Vampires are often known as being real lookers, but being attractive doesn't make people vampires. Or does it?

Your bones sometimes elongate and change shape.

This could be an indication you are a werewolf; but a vampire, not so much.

Your teeth are retractable.

If your incisors can extend and recede at will, that's something your dentist -- and the local exorcist -- will want to know about.

You can regenerate lost limbs.

Vampires are pretty hardy creatures, but the ability to regenerate limbs isn't one they generally possess. If you're sprouting new hands and feet, we're not sure what you've got. But you should definitely sign your organ donor card.

Human blood makes a fine meal, but goat blood is what you consider a true delicacy.

Vampires might suck the blood of lesser creatures in a pinch, but they definitely prefer human victims when they can get in some fine dining. If it's goat that really gets you salivating, you may be a Chupacabra.

You suddenly start stinking of sulfur.

Vampires aren't generally noted for reeking of sulfur. Again, this could mean you're a Chupacabra. Bummer, sorry.

Someone cut your head off, yet you didn't die.

Vampires, among other supernatural creatures like werewolves and zombies, are very susceptible to the whacking-off-the-head method of murder. If you're still chugging along after your dome was removed, we're not sure what you are. But we are impressed.

You don't cast a reflection in mirrors.

Modern versions of vampires don't cast reflections, so if someone isn't staring back at you when you're busy washing your hands at the bathroom sink, that's a really bad sign. Combined with enough of the rest of the potential signs you're a vampire -- yikes. Higher than 15 and we're going to get our garlic bread to go!

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