Are You a Virus, Fungus, Bacteria or Parasite?

By: Ian Fortey

Are You a Virus, Fungus, Bacteria or Parasite?
Image: Henrik5000/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

In the world of microbiology, four of the most important things you can learn about are viruses, fungi, bacteria and parasites. When it comes to getting sick, those are the four guys you're looking at in terms of responsibility. From the simplest cold to the most incredibly bizarre or devastating illness, you've got one of these generally awful little guys to blame for it. 

But they're not all bad! The world has a strange way of making use of even the most bizarre things. To that end, you can get all kinds of benefits from bacteria such as the good bacteria you'll find in yogurt that can aid in digestion. Mushrooms make an excellent addition to any pizza, and some viruses are being researched for their ability to fight cancerous tumors. There are even some parasites that are believed to protect you from various diseases as well. It just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover or a microscopic doodad by its effects.

Since it seems like there is as much diversity with these little life forms as there is among humans, maybe we can see which one would be most like you if you just answer a few questions. Take the quiz and see!

You're out having snacks with friends. How does the bill get split?
I'll take care of it.
Equal split
Everyone handles their individual order.
Hopefully, it's someone else's treat.

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What's the best kind of vacation you could go on?
Tropical island getaway
Staycation
Disneyworld
Trip to Vegas with friends

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You know who's a great actor? Morgan Freeman! What's the best Morgan Freeman movie?
"Outbreak"
"Se7en"
"War of the Worlds"
"Dreamcatcher"

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Which American city would you most like to live in?
Reno
Los Angeles
New York
Minneapolis

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What is the best kind of pasta you can get?
Penne
Rotini
Spaghetti
Macaroni

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What do you consider an ideal Friday night?
Netflix!
Wherever the night takes me
Dancing at the club
Hanging out with a friend

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If you could have any exotic animal as a pet, which one would you choose?
Fennec fox
Naked mole rat
Capybara
Python

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If you were going to have a nice vase of flowers on the table as a centerpiece, what kind of flowers would you pick?
Orchids
Carnations
Roses
Tulips

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What's the scariest kind of movie monster out there?
Zombies
Mummies
Werewolves
Vampires

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If driving isn't an option, what's the best way to get around town?
Walking
Subway
Bicycle
The bus

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Oranges are the star of the citrus world, which means we're ignoring all kinds of other delicious citruses. What's the most underrated kind?
Blood oranges
Buddha's hand
Kumquat
Finder limes

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What is the best place to go for a swim?
A river
My own pool
The public pool
The ocean

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You're at McDonald's and you're starving. What do you order?
Filet-o-Fish
Mushroom and Swiss Burger
Big Mac
Chicken McNuggets

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What kind of housework do you like the least?
Vacuuming
Yardwork
Doing the dishes
Cleaning the bathroom

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Which element do you feel the strongest connection to?
Air
Earth
Water
Fire

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Which periodic table of elements represents you?
Hydrogen
Titanium
Gold
Mercury

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If you're making the ultimate pizza, what's the one topping that you never, ever want to see on it?
Anchovies
Pineapple
Olives
Green peppers

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Sometimes you need to celebrate with a drink or two. What's your drink of choice?
Wine
Beer
Vodka
Water

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What's the best flavor of ice cream?
Good ol' vanilla
Mint chip
Chocolate
Moose tracks

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If you were going to take up a career as a famous athlete sometime soon, what sport would you be playing?
Golf
Bowling
Basketball
Tennis

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Who was the greatest action star of the 1980s?
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Sylvester Stallone
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Chuck Norris

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On the off-chance someone ever gives you a time-traveling DeLorean, what time period will you visit?
The Dark Ages
When dinosaurs walked the Earth
Way back when life began!
1955

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Have you ever stolen anything in your life?
Maaaaybe
I plead the 5th.
Never
When I was a kid

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What do you usually do when you get sick?
Sleep as much as I can
I get pretty upset and gross feeling.
Go to the doctor right away
I try to power through it.

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There's no cure for the common cold, so how do you deal with one?
Sleeeeeeeep!
Lots of baths
Lots of vitamin C
Chicken soup and lots of it

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You're a ghost, and you're haunting an old Victorian mansion. What's your go-to scare tactic for freaking out the people who live there?
Making a room go frosty cold.
Opening doors
Creaking the floors in the attic
Writing on the mirror

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If you could travel to any exotic destination anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Fiji
Paris, France
Sydney, Australia
Kuala Lumpur

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There are 101 ways to cook your dinner, but what's the best method of cooking?
BBQ
Baking
Deep fry
Poaching

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Do you friends call on your for advice?
Not really
I guess sometimes. I'm not good at it, though.
I offer it. Whether they listen is another matter.
All the time!

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If you're at the movies, what's the best snack to get?
Popcorn!
A hot dog
Nachos and cheese
M&Ms

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You Got:

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