Are You on the Road to Obesity?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Are You on the Road to Obesity?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Since the average newborn is around 7.7lbs, no one is born obese. Whether you wind up there is a combination of factors: gut biology, disease, medication, diet, and exercise. If you're worried that you're piling on the pounds, take this quiz to assess where your current road leads.
Do you know your BMI?
Yes, please don't ask me
No, what is BMI?
No
Yes, and it went down!
If you were to calculate it: what is your BMI?
32
Seriously, I don't know.
26
29.5. It used to be 31!
How jiggly are you feeling?
Very
Alarmingly so
Moderately
Less

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Do you still fit into the jeans you bought 12 months ago?
No, they are too small
They are tight, but I can wriggle in
It depends on the day and when I ate
Yes, but I can also get a few fingers in the waistband now
How about 12 months before that?
Oh, definitely not
No, those jeans are tiny
Again, it depends on the day
I am swimming in those jeans
Are you ever surprised by your appearance in photos from five years ago?
Yes, I look thin
I try not to look at photos of myself
Yes, sometimes in a good way, sometimes not so much
Yes, I can't believe how big I was

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Are you proud of your progress?
Not at all
I don't think I'm making any
Sometimes
Yes
When you fight the flab, does it win?
I'm not even fighting any more
Somehow, yes
Mostly
I have the upper hand these days
Do you lie about your size?
Yes, to myself
Yes, to my doctor
Yes, to friends and family
No

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Do you actually know how many calories you eat, roughly?
Over 3,000
No idea
2,000 to 4,000 a day
2,500
Do you know how many calories you burn by walking for an hour?
Probably like 1,000?
50, so there's no point trying
300
240. I know because I checked.
How often do you break a sweat on purpose?
Never
Once a week
Some weeks not at all, other weeks all the time
Three times a week

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Do you have any exercise built into your day e.g. a walk to work, chasing small kids?
No
I have small kids and I also clean the house
A little. I walk my dog.
Some, but I now go out of my way to add more, like always taking the stairs
Do you sit at a desk for your job?
Yes, every day
Most of the time
Yes, but sometimes I go for a little walk to loosen up
On days I have to do that, I use a standing desk some of the time
How do you get to work?
Drive
I work from home
I take public transport
I cycle

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Is flying fraught for you because of your size?
Yes, always
Usually yes
Sometimes
Not so much now
Did your parents ever shame you for being too small or big?
Yes, they were really mean
No, but I heard them do it to themselves and picked up the messages
No, they were quite sensible
Sometimes but I let it motivate me
Does your doctor side-eye you?
Yes
Yes, but I don't know why
No
No, they high five me

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Are you the smallest person in your circle?
No
I am in the middle
I am sometimes
No, but I'm moving up the ranks!
When people say, "There aren't any obese people in those Victorian crowd photos", what do you say?
Nothing, I just cry
Blah blah blah, everything was organic then, blah blah blah high fructose corn syrup, blah blah corporations!
I agree; it is an irrefutable point that my situation is on me
I agree to a point, but remember that calorie-dense food, office work and cars are factors now - and then I use that to figure out how to neutralize their impact.
How's your blood pressure?
I don't even want to know any more.
Last time I checked it was 130/80. That was five years ago so it can't be that different now.
140/90
It's 135/85 but it used to be higher.

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What's your resting heart rate?
82
77
68
60. I'm proud, it used to be 70.
Could you jog for an hour - or the equivalent in swimming or cycling if your knees aren't up to jogging?
I don't know, I never tried.
I could, I just don't want to.
I can but I would be wiped out after.
I can now! It's great.
Do you follow fad diets?
No, I don't diet
Yes, but for some reason they never last
Depends what my friends are doing
No, that's a good way to yoyo and ruin your health

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Do you find yourself buying the diet option then eating four times more of it?
No, I get the full fat version. Diet versions have aspartame which kills you.
Yes, that's how dieting works
Sometimes
No. I get the full fat version then eat 1/4 as much as I thought I wanted. I then wait 10 minutes and realize I feel full anyway, so I stop.
Were you raised to always clear your plate, no matter what?
No, but I usually do anyway
Yes, absolutely
No, but I was raised to always try everything
Yes, but I de-programmed myself, and also, now I decide how much goes on the plate
You just ate an incredible plate of pasta. Do you get seconds?
You mean thirds, right?
Sure, if it's that good, it'd be a shame not to
Only sometimes
Only if I am still hungry after waiting a little while, and then not too much

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Do you eat to celebrate?
Of course!
Yes, sometimes
No, but my family does
Yes, but I combine it with something else like going bowling or skating so I don't make it all about the food
When you've done a task, do you reward yourself with food?
Sometimes
Of course
No, I reward myself with shiny objects
No, I reward myself with a massage or something nice and healthy
Would you say that your relationship with food is just... well... off?
It's just fine, and don't ask me that, that's mean.
I think so, but I'm not sure how
Sometimes - I know my idea of portion size is skewed
It's getting better

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