Build an Evil Lair and We'll Reveal Which "Star Wars" Villain You Are

By: Steven Miller

6 Min Quiz

Image: Lucasfilm

About This Quiz

There are many choices you face when designing your ideal evil lair. For example, are you going to have it underground or are you going to put it up in orbit? There's the question of size as well. Do you need a ton of room to keep all kinds of technology and gadgets, or do you think that a more minimalist and understated approach might fit you best?

If you'd conceive of your lair as basically a personalized training facility, then the athletic and single-minded energy of Darth Maul seems like it could be the right fit for you. Should you choose to go with a black-and-red decorating scheme, we like this choice even more on you.

Perhaps you're envisioning a pad that is huge and packed with all the very latest in technology and monitoring equipment. If you're someone who sees your evil lair as the place where you spend the bulk of your time and where you do most of your evil work, Emperor Palpatine, also known as Darth Sidious, appears to be the perfect match.

Maybe you'd design something a bit more sparse and focused on health issues and recharging your system, or you're not planning on spending much time there at all, and you want to keep it simple and small. Either way, get on board the Star Destroyer and let's find the space that fits your match on the dark side of the force.

How big will your lair be?

My lair would be enormous.

It will be big, but it will be very minimalist inside.
It will basically just be a big training facility.

It will be a tiny place. I'll hardly ever be there.

How much technology will you have in there?

That would be a waste. I'd never use any of it.

All my stuff would be pretty basic.
There will be some technology, especially related to health and wellness.

It will be packed with all the latest technology and gadgets.

How many servants will you have staffing your lair?

I would have a couple people there to cook and clean for me.

I don't want anyone to know about my lair. I'll pass on the servants.
I will have a ton of servants to cater to my every whim.

I'll have a maid to clean up when I'm not there.

Which of these would you rather have as your personal vehicle?

Star Destroyer.

Sith Infiltrator.
A modified Firespray-31 class patrol and attack craft.

TIE fighter.

Which color scheme would you rather go with?

Black and red.

Black.
Green and orange.

Lightning blue and black.

Will you have an oxygen bar in your pad?

No, that would be totally unnecessary.

That might not be a bad idea to have on hand.
That wouldn't be at the top of my list.

Yes, that would be necessary for me.

Will you have a personal gym in your lair?

I might, but I'd never use it.

No, my days of working out are done.
Yes, that's an absolute must for me.

I might have a small gym.

Will you have a fish tank?

No way. The fish would all die because I'm never there.

I might. Throwing people to the sharks could be fun.
That might be a good idea. I could see it being relaxing.

Of course, and it would be filled with all kinds of nasty creatures.

Will your lair be underground?

No, I would get claustrophobic.

That's probably a good idea.
It won't even be on a planet.

Absolutely, that's the safest spot for it.

How many people will know where your lair is?

Everyone will know where it is, but they wouldn't dare do anything to it.

No one will know where it is.
I'll trust one or two people with that information.

I'd let a handful of people know about it.

Will there be any secret rooms in your evil lair?

That would be a fantastic idea.

Every room will have a special code to gain access.
A secret entrance might be fun.

No, I have nothing to hide.

Will you inexplicably keep the one thing that can truly harm you in your evil lair?

Why in the world would you do that?

Sure, I'm confident that no one will use it against me.
I think it's better to keep those things as far away from you as possible.

Maybe, but I'd keep that thing locked up tight.

How sophisticated will your security system be?

It will be totally cutting-edge.

It will be fairly substantial, but the force should alert me to any issues.
It will be very rustic. My keen senses will detect any issues.

I won't have a security system.

Will you have some booby traps in your evil lair?

No, I don't think so.

Yep, the place will be filled with them.
I might have something near my most precious stuff.

Oh yes, that will definitely have to be part of the equation.

Will you have a room for holding people captive in your lair?

I might have some trophies of dead enemies, but there'd be no reason to hold anyone alive there.

No, I don't plan on taking anyone alive.
I will have multiple rooms for this purpose.

Actually, that might not be a bad idea.

Which pet will you keep in your lair?

A cat.

A tiger.
A monkey.

A dog.

Will you have a home theater?

Sure, but it will be relatively small.

Yes, that sounds relaxing.
No, I don't think so.

I don't think that I'll ever use it, but I'll build one anyway.

Is an indoor pool an important feature in your lair?

No, that won't be necessary.

It's not important, but let's do an Olympic-size pool anyways.
Yes, that would be some great exercise.

I might have a small saltwater pool to float and relax in.

Will your lair be in space or on a planet?

It would have to be in space.

I think space would make more sense, but I'm not attached to either.
I want the extra gravity of a planet for my workout.

A remote planet would be ideal.

If your lair had to be on a planet, which setting would you prefer?

In the desert.

In the mountains.
Deep in the forest.

On an island.

How much time will you spend in your lair?

I'll go there about half of the time.

I'll visit there for a few weeks at a time.
I'll have a lot of time to spend there.

I might go there for a day or two once in a while.

Will you have a video game system?

I'll have it, but I'll never play it.

Probably, just to work on my reflexes.
I might, just for something to do.

No, that's not something I would use.

How much closet space will you need?

I don't think I even need a closet.

I have minimal outfits, but they do take up quite a bit of space.
It can be a very small space.

I have a huge wardrobe, so it will have to be pretty large.

What kind of music would you rather listen to in your lair?

Hip hop.

Classical.
Death metal.

New age.

Will you install any trap doors in the floor?

Of course, that will be fun.

I don't think so, but I suppose it's possible.
Probably, and I'll place them over the cage of a huge beast.

Nah, it's not going to have that kind of vibe.

Is it important for you to have a retractable roof on your lair?

No, I'd rather not have that.

I wouldn't say that it's important.
I suppose it wouldn't be a bad idea.

Yes, that seems highly important to me.

Which adversary do you respect the most?

Luke Skywalker.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Yoda.

Han Solo.

Will you have people frozen in carbonite on display in your lair?

Oh yes, I'll have a whole wing of those on display.

No, I don't take prisoners.
There might be someone in that condition, but they won't be on display.

I might keep one special trophy on display like that.

Which description best matches the overall vibe of your lair?

A gym and training facility.

A relaxing spa.
A place to crash.

An impressive fortress.

How long would it take you to get ready in the morning?

I'd say that it would take me five minutes, at the most.

It will take however long it takes me.
I could be ready to head out the door in 20 minutes.

It's a long process. I'd guess that it would be over an hour.

7 Minute Quiz 7 Min

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