Can We Guess the Natural Disaster That Best Matches Your Life?

By: Zoe Samuel

Can We Guess the Natural Disaster That Best Matches Your Life?
Image: Mike Lyvers/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Life is a natural disaster! You move through the environment of your life but the ground shakes, fire falls from the sky, the rivers burst their banks, the animals run amok and the world cracks open just when it shouldn't. Does this feel like your life to you? It does to us!

Have you ever seen The Tempest? Since before Shakespeare's time, people have written about their lives in terms of metaphors, often using natural disasters as a model. Natural disasters seem to have personalities all their own, with each one wreaking havoc in a specific way, often leaving some things completely untouched while raining ultimate destruction on other things. It can feel like a natural disaster is a person with petty motives, not a random force of nature. While scientific explanations can be made for why natural disasters follow certain patterns, it does little to explain the disaster that is life.

Are you having trouble putting a finger on why your life is the way it is? Does it seem like things are spinning out of control, or going up in flames? Good news! We have a system for figuring out what natural disaster represents your life, and all you have to do is take this quiz!

How do most of your romances end?
The love ebbs and eventually dies.
An outside force tears us apart.
One of us explodes with rage and ends it.
I have an embarrassing STD.

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How many times have you been fired?
A few
Three times, all from big jobs
Many times
I've lost count.

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What's your relationship with your faith like?
Strong
It's been tested lately.
I have begun questioning it.
I've lost it completely.

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How often do you feel your fate is up to luck?
It's up to God, that's who.
It's fate, not luck.
It's totally up to luck.
It's somewhat up to luck, and somewhat preparation.

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How long was your longest relationship?
A few months
A few weeks
A few years
A few days

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In the past year, how many relationships have you been in?
None
Four
Two
One

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How many jobs have you had before you were 21?
None
Ten
Five
One

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How many distinct career paths have you been on?
One
Two
Six
Three

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How many times have you been stranded somewhere?
Three times
Five times
Just once
Twice

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How many times have you had to go under the knife for medical reasons?
None, thank God
A couple times
Once
I should have a punch card so the tenth one is free.

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How many times has a nasty rumor about you spread like wildfire?
Twice
Never
A few times
More than I can count

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How often does your boss randomly lash out at his or her employees?
Never. I've got that going for me!
Occasionally
At least once a week
Maybe once a year

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How often does your industry experience strikes?
Most years we have two
Never
Every decade or so we have several at the same time.
Rarely

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How much do you rely on others to provide work for you?
Completely
I make my own work.
About half of my work is generated by others.
I have to rely on others to feed into a system.

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How long was your longest stretch of unwanted singledom?
More than ten years
Six years
A year
Three years

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How long was your longest stint of unemployment?
Four years
A year and a half
Six months
More than five years

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Have you ever had a new practice enter your industry and if you didn't adapt, you'd lose your job?
Not really
Not at all
Yes, but we usually get ample warning.
That happens constantly.

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In your business, how often does bad news have to come before good news does?
Never
Most of the time
Sometimes
Rarely

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When bad news strikes in your personal life, how long does it linger?
Years
Months
Weeks
For the rest of my life

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When bad news is coming, what kind of warning do you usually get?
A year or two
None
A few days
A month or two

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Are you and your friends in more or less the same boat?
Mostly
Yes, completely
No, it's more random than that.
I hope not. I'll be depending on them to get me through. Honestly? I don't know.

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Is there any way you can prepare for the problems life throws at you?
I could hoard life's essentials.
All I could do is change my whole life around.
Plan my escape route.
Be responsible about keeping body and soul together.

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When you get hit by life, do you also get scolded for it by other people who blame you?
Rarely
All the time
Never
Sometimes

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Do you tend to experience bad news in cycles?
No, but it doesn't come quickly or all at once.
It always seems to happen the same time of year.
Yes, but they are large cycles, measured in years.
No, it's sudden and all-consuming.

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When negative things happen, does it prompt you to take refuge in religion?
Yes, at times
Usually
No, never
Not usually

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Have you had to adjust your lifestyle in preparation for inevitable disasters?
A bit
I probably should have, but I don't.
What am I supposed to do?!
I could try, but there's nothing to do about it.

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How many pets have you had die on you before their time?
Six. It's sad.
Only one, but it was a dog. Quality pet.
Two. I loved them.
None. They're fine.

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How long can you keep a plant alive before it dies?
A few days
A few years
A decade or more
Only a few months. Then stuff comes up.

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How personally do you take it when bad things happen in your industry?
It's not about me.
I consider how I'm in the same boat with everyone else who does my exact job.
Very personally
It's all about me.

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Are you currently bracing for disaster?
I'm stocking up just in case.
I'm considering a change of scenery to avoid it.
I'm just planning my escape.
I'm prepping to look out for the old number one!

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You Got:

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