Can We Guess How Long You’d Survive in a Horror Movie?

By: Ian Fortey

Can We Guess How Long You’d Survive in a Horror Movie?
Image: urbazon / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Horror has long been a part of storytelling. Our caveman ancestors were probably telling terrifying stories about being stalked by fearsome beasts in the night. (Also: they WERE being stalked by fearsome beasts in the night.) 

As people, we like being scared. We like facing fears both real and impossible because it's a kind of catharsis to let that fear in and realize, at least in movie form, it's no big deal. It builds up tension and then lets it all out again. It's a rush that can be really satisfying and fun.  

No one wants to experience horror in real life because there's far too much of it already in the world. It's so much more enjoyable in fiction because we can distance ourselves and just look at it from the outside, cheering on the heroes and criticizing their poor decision-making as we feel confident that, if this were us, we'd absolutely make all the right choices and survive all the way to the end.

But would you really? Do you think that if you were squaring off against Freddy or Jason or Chucky that you'd have what it takes to overcome? Well, there's only one way to find out. Take out horror survival quiz and we'll see just how much time you've got.

It's moving day! The new house is great except that the neighbor says the last family were all murdered in the attic. Is that an issue?
Yeah, no, we're not moving in.
I bet that means we got a discount! Yay!
I need to send in an exorcist first.
I think I'll just sleep at a motel tonight.

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A creepy doll was just delivered with no return address. Now what?
Right in the fireplace it goes.
Fun! I'll put it on a shelf somewhere.
That thing is going in the trash.
I think I'll just leave it in the box.

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You're being chased down the road by a maniac with a chainsaw. What's the best place to hide?
No hiding, keep running! Never stop running!
This abandoned slaughterhouse looks promising!
The police station seems like a good choice.
No one can find me in a graveyard!

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Rumor has it the house is haunted. What's the best way to deal with an unruly spirit?
Never go in the house again.
Call the Ghostbusters?
Hire someone who can cleanse the house.
Get a Ouija board!

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The guy who just moved in next door never comes out during daylight hours and really hates garlic. What do you figure his deal is?
Oh, you mean the vampire? Yeah, the deal is he needs a staking.
Probably just has sensitive skin. We should hang out.
Time to get some holy water, I think.
I may need to wear a crucifix.

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Are you good at puzzles? There's this puzzle box you could try to solve if you want.
Oh no, you don't. I won't even try to solve a Rubik's Cube.
I love puzzles, let me at it.
I think I'll sit this one out.
I could take a crack at it, I guess.

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Your friend tells you that they have access to a cabin in the woods for the weekend. Fun, right?
Nope! Never going into the woods.
I love roughing it!
Sorry, I'm busy staying alive this weekend.
I'll go but I'm driving my own car.

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You just got bit by a random stranger on the street and all hell is breaking loose. What now?
Gimme a sec, gotta amputate my arm.
Guess I need a bandaid.
I have to cauterize this thing.
Give me a bandana so I can tie this thing off.

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It's the long weekend and everyone is heading to the beach, even though there are rumors of a shark around. Are you going for a swim?
Swimming's overrated. I'll just take a shower.
Bah, shark attacks are super rare. Let's head into the water.
I think I'll just have a BBQ this weekend.
Maybe I'll go boating.

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Freddy Kruger comes for you in your dreams, how are you going to deal with that?
Non-stop caffeine infusion. I don't need sleep!
Maybe he just needs someone to talk to.
I'll sic Jason on him.
I can probably stay awake through willpower.

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An eccentric millionaire has offered you a ton of cash just to spend the night in his mansion. Are you in?
Oh, man. No thanks, this isn't happening.
I'm rich!
if I can keep the front door propped open.
I guess so. I'll just stay in the lobby all night.

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Hey look, there's a Ouija board! Want to play?
I will not set a finger on that thing.
This is fun! I'm in!
I'll just watch, thanks.
I'll play but if any ghosts show up, I'm out.

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There's a kid upstairs puking pea soup and spinning her head around. Do you know what we should do here?
Yep. Go to church and stay there. Just, like, forever.
Sounds like she may need Pepto Bismol.
Send in the exorcist. And keep three or four in reserve.
Time to get some crucifixes.

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You're watching some Netflix home alone and you hear footsteps upstairs. That's weird, right? What now?
I'm out the door faster than fast.
Better go see who's upstairs!
I didn't hear anything and neither did you.
I'll call out and ask who's there.

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The townsfolk in this Scottish village seem like jerks and kicked us out of the inn. Should we walk across the moors at night to the next town?
Heck no! We're staying put.
Sounds like an adventure! Let's do it.
Maybe we should wait for a bus.
If we stay on the road it'll be cool.

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It looks like that sewer clown wants to talk to you. Do you have anything to say to him?
No time to talk, leaving town.
Oh hey, free balloons!
You know what? I don't.
I feel like I should not talk to that sewer clown right now.

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There's something outside that drives you crazy just from seeing it. How do you and your box of birds handle that situation?
I've got blindfolds to spare, I am ready for this!
I suppose I can just look at the ground.
I'm following Sandra Bullock everywhere.
I bet a guide dog could come in handy here.

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There's someone at the door and it looks like the neighbor. But he died yesterday. What should we do?
Barricade all doors and windows and find a weapon!
Open the door and see what he wants.
It's time to hide in the cellar.
I don't think I'm answering the door.

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It's Halloween and there's a tall fella in a white mask outside. Any cause for alarm?
This is why I don't celebrate Halloween.
Just a trick-or-treater, I bet. Open the door!
Time to run out the back door.
I'm going to go hide in a closet.

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That weird guy in the hockey mask is making your week at summer camp super awkward. Is there a way to turn this around?
Yeah, I'm running due East and not looking back.
Maybe ask if he wants to play a game of road hockey?
I'm hiding in the woods.
I guess I shouldn't drink or have sex.

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There was just a story on the news about a maniac escaping from the local prison for the criminally insane. Are you still going to walk the dog?
Heck no. Doors are locked, lights are off and I'm in the basement.
I don't even watch the news! Where's that leash?
I'm locking all the doors, thank you very much.
Maybe I'll wait until tomorrow morning.

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The streets are overrun with hordes of the undead and society has pretty much crumbled. What's your survival plan?
Head to Costco, block all the entrances, live out my life with canned goods.
I need to go looking for my friends!
I'm hiding in the attic and staying there.
I guess I should arm myself and go zombie hunting.

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You're out in the desert and it looks like there are giant, carnivorous worms under the sand. What's the best way to deal with them?
Dynamite from the safety of a mountain range.
Worms? How bad could they be?
Just sit on a rock and wait it out.
I can outrun them, probably.

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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. What's the best way to deal with that?
I have no idea who Jack is and have no plans to meet him.
I guess I could ask Jack if he wants to play.
Stay far, far away from Jack.
Take a walk through the topiary garden.

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There's someone in the TV who's been talking late at night. What should we do about that?
Cancel the cable and toss the TV in the trash. Books are fun.
Turn up the volume and find out what they're saying.
Time to turn the TV off.
Change the channel.

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You just found a mysterious VHS tape in a cabin. Are you going to watch it?
I don't have a VCR and I'm not going to find one.
I love movies! Let's watch.
I don't need to watch weird VHS tapes.
You put it on, I'll watch it when you're done if it sounds good.

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The cat we buried way back in the woods just came back to life, so that's weird. What happens next?
You must be mistaken because I would never do that in the first place.
Yay, my kitty is OK! Time for snuggles.
I may have to lock that zombie cat in a box.
I think I'm going to seal the cat door.

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The killer just got shot and fell down deadly still. Should you go check the body?
Helllllllllllllllllllll no!
Well yeah, you want to be sure.
No, I'm sure the cops can handle this.
Maybe I'll give it a poke.

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The cops just called to let you know that the calls from the person who's been harassing you are coming from inside the house! Now what?
I am no longer in that house.
What? I have to investigate this.
Time to grab a weapon.
I don't feel good about that.

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You found a pot of gold hidden in a tree in Ireland. Now what?
Back away. Fast.
Ooh, I'm buying a new house!
I don't need gold, I'm fine.
If I catch the leprechaun I get to keep the gold, those are the rules!

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