Can We Guess How Often You Cuss?

By: Ian Fortey

Can We Guess How Often You Cuss?
Image: Dong Wenjie/Moment/GettyImages

About This Quiz

Have you noticed how often people swear these days? Is it more or less than you remember? On TV, swearing has changed a lot. Back in the day, people wouldn't even say "damn" on TV and now you can tune into any number of shows and hear some of the most intense cussing this side of a Tarantino film. Some people let the cuss words fly like rice at a wedding, while other people manage to keep it under wraps and only shoot a word like "fudge" out in the most extreme of circumstances. Some of it has to do with how you were raised and some of it has to do with how upset you are and the reason you're cussing in the first place. An angry cuss is different from a surprised cuss, after all. Not to mention frustrated cussing versus the kind that comes out when you're just trying to be funny.

Fact is, sometimes a cuss word just fits a situation better than any other word in any language. It may not be for everyone, but it's definitely for some of us. Do you think we can guess who often you let the cussing loose? Take our foul little quiz and see!

Do you remember the first time you heard your parents cuss?
Nope
Clearly! It was a historic moment.
I'm not sure, but it happened sometimes.
I never did.

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We all know the basic cuss words, right? But you can add a few extra words and make new, colorful terms. How many cuss words do you think you know in total?
Hundreds
A few dozen
20 or 30
Maybe 12 or so

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Pick your favorite stand-up comedian!
Andrew Dice Clay
Richard Pryor
George Carlin
Jerry Seinfeld

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What happened the first time your parents heard you cuss?
They laughed.
I don't remember.
I got punished.
They never did.

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Can you cuss in any other languages?
I know a few choice words in a couple of languages.
A few good ones
Just one or two words
Not really

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What's the worst place in the world in which you could let loose a string of profanity?
Court
A wedding
A funeral
At work

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Speaking of cussing, do you call it cussing or something else?
Just talking
Swearing, I guess
Cussing seems fine
Cursing

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What's your response going to be if the power goes out and on your way to fix it you stub your toe?
Oh, I'll be dropping the F-bombs like it's my job.
A curse or two
That might be worth some light cussing
Ouch

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Someone on social media misunderstood one of your posts and is now attacking you even though it's clear you believe the same thing. Now what?
I'll lace into the fool.
I might have to sling an insult or two
I'll restate my point, give them a chance to figure it out.
I can explain very politely what they misunderstood.

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Have you ever been asked by a stranger to watch your language?
All the time
Not in a long time
Just once
Never

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When you're surprised by something, what's your usual reaction?
"Oh S#!*!"
Some mild exclamation
I guess it depends on what surprised me.
I might just yell wordlessly

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Who's your favorite film director?
Quentin Tarantino
Guillermo del Toro
Martin Scorcese
Steven Spielberg

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If someone asked you to make up a dirty limerick on the spot, how long would it take you to bust one out?
I could spit it out in seconds.
I'm not sure. At least 10 or 20 minutes.
I'd need a few minutes for sure.
I don't think I'd do that.

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Do you have any friends who you joke around with by calling each other names?
Tons
My best friend
Yeah, not it's not an everyday thing.
Why would I call my friend names?

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You're singing along with your favorite song in the car and you get to a part with some cussing it in. Are you belting it out?
You bet!
Well, how much swearing are we talking about?
If no one's around
My favorite song doesn't have cussing.

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Someone just cut you off in traffic. Now what?
I'll be cussing them out.
I might flip them off.
I'll be angry, but oh well.
It's frustrating, but I'll get over it.

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Do you only cuss when you're feeling negative emotions, or is it a happy thing, too?
Any emotion could make it pop up.
It's more about intensity than positive or negative.
Usually for negative stuff
I'm not sure.

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Is winning the lottery a cuss-worthy event?
F#@$ yeah!
I'll bring out my best swears for that one.
That seems like the right time to bust out some cursing.
It's exciting, but I don't know.

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You're playing with the cat and it scratches your hand by accident. Do you have any choice words for the little furball?
I'll probably cuss at the cat even if it doesn't scratch me. Out of love, though.
Maybe, maybe not
If it's a deep one that draws blood
Of course not! It's just a cat.

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What do you think of the way gamers talk to each other online?
Seems about right
It gets a little out of hand sometimes.
Some gamers need bigger vocabularies.
I don't know how gamers talk to each other.

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If you're texting a friend do you use abbreviations like "ffs" or "af?"
If I don't use the full words, sure.
I might.
Rarely
No

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How likely are you to curse out your phone if it glitches and deletes a text you're in the middle of writing?
You know I will!
If I'm feeling frustrated
If it was a long one
No need to cuss at a phone

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Does swearing make a story more dramatic when it's being told?
Definitely
It could make a story pop, sure.
Depends on the story
It's probably not necessary.

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It's illegal to swear in public in some towns. Is that cool?
Isn't that a violation of our freedom of speech?
No, that's not cool
Seems extreme
The law's the law.

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Do you consider swear words more or less versatile than non-swear words?
They're super diverse!
Curse words carry a certain weight in the right situation.
Sometimes a swear word is the best choice.
There are probably better words to use.

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If you heard your grandma swear, would you be surprised?
Not at all
Probably
Grandma? Yeah, that'd be weird.
Extremely

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When's the last time you used the F-word?
I've said it since I started this quiz.
In the last week
In the last 24 hours
I don't really use that word.

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Do you consider "damn" a swear word?
Of course not
Not really
It used to be, but it's pretty commonplace now
Yes

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If you're referring to some human reproductive organs, are you going to use the scientific name or a slang term?
Slang!
I guess that depends on why I'm talking about these things.
Depends on who I'm talking to
The scientific name

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Is taking the Lord's name in vain cussing?
I don't think so
Only if you do it in an obscene way
If you're a religious person
Definitely

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You Got: