Can We Guess How You're Most Likely to Die?

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Can We Guess How You're Most Likely to Die?
Image: DNY59 / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

On a long enough timeline, everyone's chance for survival grinds right down to zero. No one is immortal, no matter how much they try to change that. Sure some of us have a longer run than others, but eventually, we all have to punch the clock and check out. It's natural, though, and it doesn't have to be something to fear; it's inevitable. You may as well fear the sunrise or a change in the tides, right?

So, you know you're going to die one day. What now? No one can really know the future, but we can make some educated guesses. Like, if you're a lion trainer who drinks on the job, we can guess you're a little more likely to die in the jaws of a lion than your average accountant or the guy who scrapes up roadkill. That's just playing the odds. If you tell us a bit about who you are and what you do right now, whether or not that includes any unsafe habits with large jungle cats, we'll let you know what you're heading for at the end of the line. Think you can handle it? Take the quiz and look death in the eye!

Have you ever jumped off a cliff into a body of water?
Once I saw other people do it
You bet!
Once, and I was terrified.
Never!

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What are your thoughts on skydiving?
Never tried it, but I want to.
I love it!
It's fine if you're into that sort of thing.
Not in this lifetime.

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Sometimes, you just have the need... the need for speed! What's the fastest you've ever gone in a car?
100 miles per hour or so
Just shy of 180 miles per hour
Maybe 80 miles per hour
About 70 miles per hour

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Would you ever eat fugu, that poisonous Japanese puffer fish?
Maybe if it was prepared by a pro
Yeah, why not?
I'm not a seafood person.
Do I look crazy?

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Are you a smoker?
Used to be, but I quit a long time ago.
Nope.
Yes, I am.
Gross! No.

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How often do you eat fast food?
Maybe once every month or two
Rarely
All the time
Almost never

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Are you the kind of person who picks fights with people?
Not really, no
Maybe
Only if they deserve it
I try to be cool with everyone.

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If a friend dares you to taste something, are you tasting it?
I'll consider it based on everyone else's reaction.
You better believe it.
If they tell me what it is first.
That never ends well, so no.

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Have you ever played a drinking game at a party?
Not since I was younger.
I play and I win!
Once or twice.
No, I don't drink.

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Do you keep yourself in shape by working out at all?
I don't work out a ton, but I try to stay in decent shape.
Yeah, I love to keep active.
I never work out.
I work out daily.

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If you have a headache and an acquaintance offers you a couple of pills for it, are you taking them?
Gonna say no to that one.
Sure!
Only if I can see what kind of pills they are.
Are you kidding? No way.

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If you're home alone on a Friday night and you hear a crash in the basement, are you going down to check?
I'll wait and see if there's any follow-up noise.
Yeah, I want to know what that was.
I'll take a peek.
Oh, hell no.

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Are you a fan of horror movies or not?
It's not my favorite genre, but I dig them.
Love 'em!
Some are cool.
Not really.

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What do you think you'd order for your last meal if you were on death row?
A hamburger and fries
A big ol' steak
Pizza and beer
A nice sandwich and a side salad

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If you had to go out in a natural disaster, which one would you pick?
Tornado
Tsunami
Earthquake
These are all terrible choices.

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Pizza is always a good thing. What do you need on yours?
Ham
Olives
Mushrooms
Pepperoni

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What's the most fun thing you can think of doing on a mountain?
Skiing
Base Jumping
Mountain biking
Sightseeing

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What animal always gets your attention at the zoo?
Cobras
Tigers
Gorillas
Bunnies

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Have you ever had someone you'd consider to be your enemy?
I hope not.
Oh yeah
Just people I disliked.
No

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Have you ever partaken in illicit narcotics during your lifetime?
Not my cup of tea
I have.
Maybe?
Never

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How long do you think you could survive on your own out in the woods?
I don't want to find out.
Ages
A couple of days.
Not long enough.

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Have you ever started a fire, either accidentally or on purpose?
Nope
Yes
Accidentally, yes
Just for cooking

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The beach is always fun, but it can be dangerous. Ever had a near-drowning incident?
At a pool, but not the beach
A couple of times
No, I'm pretty cautious in the water.
Never

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Have you ever been in a car accident?
Yes, but it wasn't my fault.
One or two.
Yes, but it wasn't very serious.
No

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Are you a risk-taker by nature?
Not really
I do like to roll the dice sometimes.
I take little risks.
The exact opposite of that.

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What would you like to have happen to your remains after you pass on?
What are my options?
Launch me into space!
Cremation
Just a traditional burial.

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What's the weather like where you live?
Lots of rain
I live by the ocean; it's nice.
Very dry
It's pleasant.

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When you're feeling thirsty, what are you most likely to reach for?
Pepsi
Whiskey
Beer
Water

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Would you get into the ring with an MMA champ for $1 million?
I'd take a beating for that much money.
Of course!
How many rounds?
I don't think so.

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What's on the other side of life?
Reincarnation
Valhalla
I have no idea!
Heaven

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You Got: