Can We Guess If You're More Earthquake or Tsunami?

By: Emily Maggrett
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Solange Knowles Which of these divas makes you sigh "It me"?
Solange
Cardi B
Kanye
Bette Davis

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Messy bedroom First things first: What does your bedroom look like rn?
It's clean-ish.
What bedroom? All I see is a pile of clothes.
Unmade bed but no clothes on the floor
It's neat and clean as heck, of course!

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Club line You've been waiting in line to get into the club for an hour. Suddenly, someone cuts in front of you. What do you do?
Call 911, TBH.
Clap back!
Alert the bouncer
Let it go. I don't wanna cause a scene.

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Text breakup Let's say you've just been dumped ... via Instagram DM. What happens next?
I carefully draw up a plan to ruin my ex's life.
I screenshot the whole thing and put my ex on blast.
I DM my ex's best friend.
I cry, eat some ice cream and move on.

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Sad dog Scrolling through your feed, you see a pic of a sad dog. What happens next?
I quietly look into adopting that dog.
I GET SO SHOOK I HAVE TO TAKE THE DAY OFF. 😭😭😭
I donate $100 to a dog charity and then forget all about it.
... Nothing? I wouldn't have much of a reaction?

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Makeup Have you ever cried while putting make-up on?
Sure. It's a mood, fr.
Yeah, that's called a "weekday."
I don't cry. I get even.
No. People only do that in movies, right?

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Money Would you rather find true love or a million dollars?
A million dollars, please!
True love is worth millions to me.
What if my true love IS a millionaire, eh?
I don't believe in "true love" and think property is theft.

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Kanye West On a scale of 1 to Kanye West, how many things do you say that you later regret?
2. I'm emotional but not impulsive.
5. I'm a blurter, fr.
10. I open my mouth and dumb stuff just falls out!
3. Sometimes I misspeak, but folks seem to forgive me.

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Jealous phone You "borrow" your significant other's phone and find out they've been sliding into their ex's DMs. What's your next move?
Putting Nair in their shampoo
The nuclear option: calling their parents
Impersonating my partner and telling the ex to never contact me again
Having a calm convo with my partner about what's going on

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Smart girl People who question your intelligence are ... ?
In for a big surprise
Worthless jerks!
Probably right! JK, they're actually cruising for a bruising.
A bit biased, but hopefully I'll earn their respect over time

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Bad drivers and people who take me for granted
People who accept your love then throw it away
Haters and snobs
Social injustice

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Left on read Your crush left you on read for over an hour. What happens next?
They get ghosted by moi.
I high-key go out of my mind.
I bug them via another social-media platform.
Nothing? I wouldn't worry about it.

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Hair cut Let's say you just got your hair cut ... and it looks pretty bad. How shook are you?
Medium-shook. Time to call another salon.
So shook! This is the end of my life!
Not that shook. It's a dope excuse to reinvent myself, actually.
Not shook at all. Hair grows.

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Pimple You wake up with a huge zit. What's your mood?
Picture a cat angrily sleeping on its own face.
Picture a crow screaming and biting everyone.
Picture a rattlesnake shaking its tail.
Picture a sunny day with a few clouds!

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Bridezilla On a scale of 1 to 10, how big of a bridezilla or groomzilla do you think you'll be?
8. I want the perfect wedding, dang it.
6. I don't care how I get married; I care WHO I'm marrying!
3. All that wedding-planning stuff is boring.
4. I bet I'll be annoying, but I'll try to rein it in.

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Mountain lake If you had to compare your feelings to a body of water, which one would you pick?
A vast blue lake
The ocean during a storm, bb!
A crystal-clear mountain river
A cool bird bath with one robin in it

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Face wax Your BFF just told your worst frenemy that you have to have your whole face waxed on the regular. How will you get vengeance upon them?
By spreading a terrible rumor
By turning all our mutual friends against them
By stealing their boyfriend or girlfriend
By ending our friendship; that's revenge enough.

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Magic Do you secretly think you're magical?
No. I just think I'm extraordinary.
No, I KNOW I'm magical.
I suspect myself of having special powers.
Nah. That sounds egotistical as heck.

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Job interview You really wanted this job, but they've decided to go with someone else. How do you feel?
Outraged. No one is better than me!
Crushed. I guess I'm a worthless piece of garbage!
Anxious AF. What does this mean for my future?
Perturbed. Ah well, time to apply to another position!

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Builder Imagine that your work is unionizing, but you're already well paid. Would you join anyway in solidarity?
... No. I got mine.
Yuh. I'm ride-or-die.
Yes. I hate The Man!
Depends. Are their demands reasonable?

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Love at first sight Has "love at first sight" ever happened to you?
No. That idea is sort of extra.
Yes, many times.
Once, and I've never forgotten that person.
No, because "love at first sight" isn't real, bro.

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Conflict When you're in conflict with others, how anxious do you feel?
Not anxious at all, because I know I'm going to win.
Very anxious. Disagreeing makes me feel guilty.
Somewhat anxious. I don't want the other person to hate me.
Mildly anxious. I hope we can find a mutually beneficial solution.

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Drama queen Has anyone ever called you a drama queen?
... Not to my face. They wouldn't dare.
OFC and I'm proud of it!
Why? Is that what YOU think of me?
Gosh, nope. Never!

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Caviar What's your fave luxury?
Expensive perfume
Caviar
Designer clothes
Flamin' Hot Cheetos

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Me at my worst "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't ... "?
"Deserve me at my best."
"Deserve to live."
"Deserve the incredible force of my love!"
"Deserve to put up with me any longer."

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Cheating Spill the tea: Have you ever cheated?
... No. But I've thought about it.
Yes, but I couldn't help it! It was destiny!
Yeah. No, I'm not proud of that, but stuff happens.
No, that's wrong!

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Fam When bad things happen to your fam, does it feel like they happen to you too?
No. That's codependent.
YES. That's because I truly love them!
No. But I'll still protect my fam with my life!
No. I'm sad for them, but come on.

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Canceled plans Your friend cancels plans with you at the last minute, leaving you with nothing to do that night. How mad are you?
Low-key furious. That was inconsiderate AF.
I'm sad. How could they do this to me?
I'm so mad that I'm dumping them as a friend!
I'm annoyed, but I get it. Guess I've got a date with Netflix.

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Love phone If someone is REALLY in love with you, how often should they message you?
Once daily
They should never STOP DMing me.
Whenever they feel like it (but that should be often!).
IDK, twice a week?

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Hurricane Which natural disaster do YOU think you're the most like?
An earthquake
A tsunami
A wildfire
Uh, none of these?

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You Got:

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