Can We Guess What Car You Really Would Have Driven in the '80s?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Can We Guess What Car You Really Would Have Driven in the '80s?
Image: Wiki Commons By Karmann

About This Quiz

The 1980s stood at the turn of history. They began with the new order in the Middle East, then a strange spate of small wars, and ended with the fall of the Soviet Union, and the dismantling of The Berlin Wall. Those were the big events. It was also the age that saw the mantle of James Bond handed from Roger Moore to Timothy Dalton, the popularization of New Wave, Glam Rock, early Hip-Hop and Die Hard.

The 1980s were simultaneously recklessly optimistic, and totally paranoid. It was the zenith of style, and yet no enduring classics were born from the '80s. The '80s were all about materialism. Everything was big. Shoulder pads were big. Speakers were big. Watches were big. There was even a store called Think Big that specialized, selling only huge baseball gloves that worked as chairs, or huge crayons that were just sort of weird decor.

You may have lived through part of the '80s, but that doesn't mean you are of that time. You exist in the here and now, and were this version of you to go back in time, to the age when "Turbo" was such a new term that it became a byword for cool, what car would you drive? Would it be one of the classics of the '80s, or a forgotten relic? A tight German sedan, or a Japanese econobox? Take this quiz, and we will give you the answer!

What cool gizmo do you brag to your friends about?
I have a talking alarm clock.
I have a coffee maker with a timer you can set!
I have a computerized chess board!
I have a key ring that beeps when you wolf whistle at it! I'll never lose my keys again!

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What 1980s TV show are you most likely to quote?
General Hospital
MacGyver
Knight Rider
The A-Team

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How big are your shoulderpads?
They are so huge, it's tubular.
Big league
Gigantoid
Humongous

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How do you wear your jeans?
On my... legs?
Cuffed
I wear tapered jeans.
Up as high as possible

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What layer do you wear between your jacket and your shirt?
A puffy vest
A vest that matches my suit's jacket and trousers
A leather vest
Nothing

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Which kind of music do you have playing on your car's cassette deck?
Whodini
Huey Lewis and The News
Billy Idol
Cher

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Do you upgrade to a CD player for your home?
No way! CDs are going to be replaced by this new kind of tape that's about to come out!
Oh, I'm way ahead of you.
I'll wait until they're cheap.
No! I love my tape collection! I'm not buying them all over again! I already had to do that with my 8-tracks!

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How many components is your home stereo system?
16, but I'm really hoping to get it up to 20.
10. I can play any music, and hook it up to my projection TV!
3. I'm not rich!
I just have a boom box.

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How much metal is attached to your jacket?
None. It's a greatcoat with raglan sleeves! It's very fashion forward.
It has brass accents on the collar.
It's basically chain mail. I'm so cool.
It has a metal belt, like a giant watch chain.

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What do you wear on your head?
A trucker cap
Hats aren't my thing.
Headphones!
A do-rag

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How are you saving money for your retirement?
I'm investing with this computer genius named Bernie Madoff! I'm gonna be rich! Rich, I say!
I have a 401K.
I'm putting my money into Digital Equipment Corporation. Technology is the way of the future!
I'm putting everything into gold and T-bills. I trust no one!

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How do you date?
I go to the bar, get drunk, and hope for the best.
I met someone at a friend's party.
I take classes and hope to meet someone with similar interests.
I just yell at people on the street and hope someone likes me.

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What is your wallet like?
It's eel skin, and fat with cash!
It's a tall leather wallet I can only fit in a jacket pocket.
It's a cool, orange Ocean Pacific wallet.
It's a discreet leather bi-fold with a plastic accordion of credit cards in it.

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What kind of shoes do you wear when you get dressed up?
Penny loafers
Loafers with tassels on them
Clean sneakers
Patent leather wingtips

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What font is your business card?
Pale Nimbus
Romalian type
I don't have a business card.
Silian Rail

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How do you get around, when not in a car?
I ride my hog! Hog means Honda CM 400T, right?
By train
By skateboard
By bus

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What's the fanciest technology you have at home?
A programmable VCR!
I own one of those new-fangled 300 baud modems! They're so fast!
I have a watch with a built-in calculator.
A camera that records video on Hi8!

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What haircut do you have?
Short back and sides
I have a side parting.
Mohawk!
Ponytail

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How would you describe your overall style?
Preppy
Yuppie
Cyberpunk
Brian Bosworth

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Who is the best athlete?
Carl Lewis
Wayne Gretzky
Magic Johnson
Joe Montana

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What was the best movie of all time?
Scarface
The Breakfast Club
Demons 2
Conan The Barbarian

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What athletic sneakers do you wear?
Reebok Pumps
Jackson Cross Trainers
Air Jordans
British Knights

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Where do you like to hang out with your friends?
The mini golf course
Out behind the local diner, smoking
The mall
The video game arcade

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What was the best Bond movie?
Never Say Never Again
A View to a Kill
For Your Eyes Only
License To Kill

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What's your life plan?
Get Eddie Van Halen to join my garage band
Graduate from Princeton and work for a major investment company
Finish building this gadget in my parents' garage. I call it a "personal computer"
I'm going to Hollywood to be a stuntman

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How would you rid a golf course of a gopher?
Call an exterminator?
Shoot it.
Dynamite
Drown it.

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Who gives you nightmares?
Freddy!
Jason
Stripe, from Gremlins!
Lee Atwater

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When do you think we'll have flying cars?
I think they'll be here by 1995. Ford is secretly testing one at Area 51 right now.
Never, obviously.
By 2015, clearly.
2001, if there is justice.

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How do you carry your music around?
I don't. Portable audio isn't any good.
I have a case for holding cassettes that I keep in my glovebox.
I listen to my Walkman.
I carry a boom box!

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What's your favorite fast food joint?
Burger King
Taco Bell
Kentucky Fried Chicken
McDonald's

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You Got: