Can We Guess What Kind of Dog You Have?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Can We Guess What Kind of Dog You Have?
Image: filadendron/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Hollywood misleads us about many things - it convinced us that frogs say "ribbit" (there's only one kind of frog that says that and it lives in the Hollywood Hills), that cars explode after a crash (this is very rare), and that if a person says they're not interested, stalking them until they capitulate is super romantic and not at all a great way to get arrested or at least blacklisted (this is actually wrong).

One thing Hollywood did get right, however, is dogs. The movies are right about dogs on multiple levels. They correctly portray dogs as the most honorable, loyal, friendly, and intelligent friends humans can have. They show that dogs can be incredibly funny and may have their own sort-of sense of humor. They show that if a person doesn't like dogs, they suffer from some kind of damage or trust issue that may be resolved - and if it is, then they will start liking dogs. 

If they actively go out of their way to abuse dogs, they are simply beyond help and definitely not likely to turn around at the last minute and renounce their supervillainous ways (you can try this in real life; it works). They also inform us about a character by showing what sort of dog they have and how they interact with it.

That's why it's possible to know a great deal about a person just from knowing what kind of dog they have... and vice versa! So tell us about you, and we'll guess your dog!

Are you from a rather fancy family?
Nah, we're ordinary.
Actively not.
I don't think so.
Of course.

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How hungry are you right now?
Why, do you have some food? Gimme food, I shall die otherwise!
I could eat, sure.
I'm not but I will eat anyway.
I'm fine thanks.

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What sort of formal exercise do you take?
Running.
Hiking.
I don't.
I have a trainer who comes three times a week.

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How fussy are you?
Not at all.
A tiny bit.
A normal amount.
Very.

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Can you be scary if you want to?
Oh, yeah.
I am all the time, honestly.
I don't think so.
I have never tried.

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What do you feel bad about spending money on?
Myself.
Clothes.
Anything, really.
Nothing, that's what it is for.

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Do you shoot first, ask questions later?
Mostly.
Not often.
Of course!
No.

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How much time do you spend grooming yourself?
20 minutes a day.
5 minutes a day.
2 minutes a day.
Most of the time, actually.

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What's your build?
Athletic and handsome.
Tall, gangly, and rangy.
Short, furry, and tubby.
Sleek and healthy.

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Are you a tidy person?
LOL, no.
A little.
I can be if I am motivated.
Very!

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What sort of house do you live in?
Regular American small town house.
Ranch house.
Apartment in the city.
Nice suburban house.

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Do you like to work hard?
Only in short bursts.
I never tried, honestly.
No.
Yes.

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Do you consider yourself to be classy?
I can switch it on.
No.
I do not care about such things.
Of course, look at me!

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After you use a bathroom, how would you describe the scene?
Disheveled, I guess.
It looks like Chewbacca was in there.
Disaster. Like a bomb went off.
Immaculate!

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You unexpectedly have a night off. What are you going to do?
I'm gonna snuggle my boo.
Nap.
Play with some toys.
Get a spa treatment.

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Would you ever move to the country?
Yes, please!
Already live there.
Probably not but I like to visit.
No.

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How active is your sense of shame?
It's so active it could kill me.
It's healthy.
I do not have one.
I have never felt this emotion, what is this?

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Outside of official exercise, how active are you in your normal day?
Fairly.
Not as much as you'd think.
Totally lazy when I can be.
A healthy amount.

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How important is etiquette do you?
Fairly.
Not very.
Ugh, that's just another word for more rules!
It's the pinnacle of human behavior.

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How intellectual are you?
Eh, not much.
I could be if I wanted.
Well, I'm smart, but that's it.
I am urbane and witty.

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Do you like strangers?
I love everyone!
Not really.
Depends how they look to me.
No.

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Be honest: how smart are you?
More than I look!
About average.
I think I am, that's for sure.
Very!

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At the dog park, where are you in the owner pecking order?
Quite high.
I'm not really in it.
Quite low.
Top!

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What do you just love to spend money on?
Other people!
Food.
I don't, money scares me.
Myself, naturally.

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If you have a neighbor you can't abide, do they know it?
I try to hide it, but they know.
I don't try to hide it, they know.
I hate all my neighbors and I want them to know.
Yes, I am polite.

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How kind are you?
Extremely.
More than I look.
I can be if I want.
Only to people who deserve it.

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Are you easily annoyed?
Nah, I'm good.
I have my bugbears.
Not really.
Yes.

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Are you often misunderstood?
Never really.
All the time.
Quite a lot.
People underestimate me.

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How many hours a day do you sleep?
12
7
20 if I can!
8

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If you think of something funny, do you just have to say it?
Usually.
Not really.
Oh, yes!
Not if it is inappropriate.

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You Got:

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