Can We Guess What Kind of Driver Annoys the Heck Out of You?

By: Zoe Samuel

Can We Guess What Kind of Driver Annoys the Heck Out of You?
Image: martin-dm/E+/GettyImages

About This Quiz

In our lifetimes, the age of the human driver will start to come to a close. Sure, for now, self-driving cars can't tell the difference between mowing down an old lady and hitting a fire hydrant, but they're on a steep learning curve and they're coming of age rapidly. At some point in the next 20 years, they will be better drivers than the vast majority of people. While the law may drag its feet and insist the human driver retains at least the option of control, eventually the insurance companies will step in and simply state that they're not going to cover you behind the wheel, or they'll make it conditional on you being well-rested, breathalyzed, and with absolutely no distractions present like music, a phone, or kids. Thus it's quite likely that a baby born today will never learn to drive.

Until then, of course, we're stuck with all the drivers who make the whole task so unpleasant. As Jean-Paul Sartre wisely put it, "Hell is other people," and in no field of human endeavor is this truer than it is when it comes to driving. Still, picking WHICH other people are the most ghastly is still instructive - and a lot of fun. Who do you hate most on the roads? Let's find out!

What sort of person bothered you most in school?
Bullies
Nerds
Jocks
Slackers

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Do you like to do things by the book?
Not really
Of course
Usually
If the book is right

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How long does it take you to choose dinner?
Ages
A couple of minutes
Up to 30 minutes
I plan way in advance.

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How far in advance do you plan outfits?
Each morning
The night before
I plan on Sunday for the entire week.
A month before

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Do you find it easy to stand up to people?
No
Yes
Only sometimes
Depends who they are

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How much do you hate having to repeat yourself?
I don't mind.
Quite a lot
A little
The most!

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Do you find it annoying when people don't have an opinion?
I love it!
I can deal.
I dislike it.
I hate it!

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How important is safety?
Most important!
Very important!
Fairly important
Not very

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Should people generally do what other people do?
If it's kind
If it's sensible
Yes
If the alternative is not acting at all

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What superpower do you wish you had?
Strength
Mind reading
Seeing the future
Flight

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How often are you a pedestrian on the same streets on which you drive?
All the time
Not much
Daily
On weekdays only

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Have you ever been tempted to just run someone over?
No!
Just this one guy
Sometimes
Yes

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Have you ever lost your no-claims bonus?
Never
Once
Not for years
Every year

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Where do you store your car?
Garage
Driveway
I don't own a car.
Street

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What's the most important quality in a car?
Safety
Speed
Comfort
Traction

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Who else do you most commonly drive around?
Babies
Nobody
Friends
Spouse

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How many miles are on your car?
100,000 or more
50,000
30,000
10,000

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Have you ever had a crash that wasn't your fault?
Yes, once
Yes, more than once
I've never been in a crash.
No, but only because I was paying attention

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What music do you play in the car?
Classical
Jazz
Pop
Show Tunes‚Äč

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Which is worse: bad drivers in traffic, or bad drivers at high speed?
Both!
High speed
Traffic
Neither, it's the medium speeds where people think they're OK but they aren't.

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What sort of car usually behaves the worst?
Sports car
People carrier
SUV
Very old cars of all types

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When you hear an unmuffled car engine, what do you think of the driver?
They are a terrible person in every conceivable way.
At least I'll hear them coming
They're going to kill someone.
I hope their car breaks.

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What do you fear most about self-driving cars?
They'll go too fast.
People will get complacent.
Nothing
People will stand in the road and block them in annoying ways, for fun!

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Does a pet travel in your car?
Yes, my kitty
Yes, my dogs
I don't have a pet.
I wish!

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What's your dream car?
Bugatti Veyron
Flatbed Ford truck
Rolls-Royce Phantom
I would prefer to simply never need a car.

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How often do you clean your car?
Weekly
Monthly
I don't own a car.
When I remember

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What sort of area do you most commonly drive in?
Residential
Downtown
Commercial
Highway

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Do you use your car for work?
Not really
Yes
No, mostly for vacation or trips
Yes, and also for family

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How many hours a week do you drive?
Five to 10
Three to eight
Zero to three
More than 10

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What do you like best about the advent of self-driving cars?
No more road rage crashes
They don't text and drive
You'll know what they are going to do
They won't be in a dither.

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You Got:

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