Can We Guess When You Got Out of the Military?

By: Zoe Samuel

Can We Guess When You Got Out of the Military?
Image: PeopleImages/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Joining the military is a huge adjustment. Preparation for military life is all about over-preparation. Basic training is a meat grinder, intended to hammer recruits with military life in the extreme, so that if there are any issues they come up when life and limb are not on the line. Can you take orders? Can you shoulder a heavy pack and hike through a mountain range? How clean can you keep your bunk? These become yardsticks for measuring the feet needed to live in the military.

Of course, after years of living a certain way, coming back to civilian life can be challenging. There will be times when instincts lean toward harmless habits that are a must when in the military. Other times, it might be confusing for your friends and family. Life at work may, too, be affected, as your old habits show up, creating an environment more reminiscent of the barracks.

Is it possible to reverse engineer these habits and determine how long someone has been out of the service? We think we can pinpoint how long you've been out of the military. Just answer our carefully selected questions, answer honestly, and we will tell you exactly how long you've been out of the service. Take the quiz!

How often do you find yourself checking your gig line?
Six times a day.
Four or five times a day.
Twice a day.
Once a day.

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Do you still do a military tuck when you put on a dress shirt?
Always!
On weekdays.
When I go to work.
When I bother to wear a dress shirt.

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How often do you find yourself glancing to where others' ribbon racks should be?
Constantly.
Frequently.
Not too often anymore.
Rarely.

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What time do you wake up?
05:00
06:00
07:30
07:00

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How often do you drop F-bombs?
Sorry, I just had to stop myself.
Pretty often. I offend a lot of people.
Not too often anymore.
About as much as any civilian.

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How often do you do as you are told without question?
Yes! Sorry, wait, what do you want from me?
Frequently.
Often.
I don't anymore.

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How good of a cook are you?
I'm awful.
I make a mean MRE.
I can cook a tasty burger.
I am a culinary expert.

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How do you react when you ask someone to do something and they do not immediately do as you asked?
I get mad.
I shout.
I get agitated, but bite my tongue.
I just shake my head.

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How often do you hit the gym?
About once every other day.
A few times a week.
Once a week.
I don't.

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How often do you use the S-word?
Dozens of times a day.
A few times a day.
Maybe once a day.
Once or twice a week.

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How fast do you walk?
I walk at a brisk pace, as one should.
Quickly, like a doctor.
A little faster than average.
I'm too old to walk any faster than normal.

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How often do you cut your hair?
Twice a week.
Once every other week.
Once a month.
When I remember.

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How fast do you eat?
I can finish a meal in 30 seconds flat.
I tend to wolf things down.
I barely chew, but I force myself to pace things.
I try to take my time.

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How often do you find yourself hooking your thumbs through your belt during meetings?
Oh man! Am I doing it again?
I catch myself doing it a few times a day.
I do it about once a day, at work.
I'll find myself doing it from time to time.

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How many syllables do you use to say "no"?
Always three.
"No Sir" is only two.
"No thanks" is two.
One! It's one syllable!

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How often do you wear sunglasses?
Every day, all day, indoors or outdoors.
Most of the time, unless it's impolite.
Whenever I'm working.
When I'm outside, rain or shine.

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What do you find yourself doing when you go to parties?
I scan the crowd from near the door.
I sit back and watch people having fun.
I like to carry on a conversation with someone near the dance floor.
I dance!

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Can you fall asleep anywhere?
Is the Pope Catholic?
About as easily as I can wake up anywhere.
Pretty easily.
I can't do it if there's irregular noise, like machinery or traffic.

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When do you arrive to scheduled events?
At least 15 minutes early.
10 minutes early.
5 minutes early.
On time or late.

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How detailed are your plans?
My plans' plans have plans.
I put a lot of thought into them.
I tend to write down the broad strokes of them.
I mean, I use a calendar. Does that put me above average?

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How would you describe your driving style?
Very aggressive.
Pretty aggressive.
I'm a bit of a cowboy.
I drive like a jerk.

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How do you feel about nasty weather?
It's fine.
It's okay.
I'll live.
Give me an umbrella.

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When do you find you go for a run?
Every morning.
Most mornings.
Every weekend.
In my fantasies about staying in shape.

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How are you at DIY?
I'm very good at it.
I'm pretty good at it.
I'm okay at it.
I'm much better and do-it-with-a-hired-professional.

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How are you at maintaining your ride?
I can fix anything on the old bag of bolts.
I can fix most problems, if I have the parts.
I can fix anything that can be fixed with wrenches, duct tape, and WD-40.
I pay someone for it.

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When do you go to bed?
21:00.
After dinner.
When it gets dark.
When I feel tired.

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What do you call the bathroom?
The latrine.
The head.
The toilet.
The bathroom.

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When was the last time you dressed up for dining in?
Last week.
A few months ago.
A couple of years back, when I had a formal birthday party.
Dining in? I just wear my sweatpants.

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How often do you seek to refill your glass at dinner when you think someone is likely to make a toast?
Frequently. Then I sip carefully until all toasts are made.
I reflexively keep it topped up. I don't want to have to drink from the grog bowl.
As much as is polite. It doesn't need to be more than 3/4 full.
I don't bother anymore.

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What is the first thing you do after waking up?
I make my bed.
I check my phone, and make my bed.
I check my phone, shower, and make my bed.
I check my phone, shower, have some coffee, and make my bed.

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You Got:

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