Can We Guess Which Christian Denomination You Are?

By: J.P. Naomi
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Can We Guess Which Christian Denomination You Are?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

When it comes to Christianity, we have a lot of choices! According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, there are an estimated 33,000 Christian denominations across the globe!  Who would have thought!

Well, we agree with you... that is just tooooo many! While it seems that anyone can create their own religion these days, many of us are more traditional than that, right? We are the Baptists, the Catholics, the Mormons, the Lutherans, etc. We believe in God without all these other distractions and we just want to live a good Christian life.

So how exactly do we do that? Well, we all believe in the same thing. But then, of course, there are the details. Oh, the details! The who, what, when, where and whys of our denomination! When do we get baptized? How long do we go to church? Will God be mad if I drink this vodka soda? What happens when we die? These simple, yet deep, questions all help to define our religion as we know and practice it. 

So are you ready to put us to the test? Answer the following questions, and we'll guess exactly which Christian denomination you are. May God bless you and keep you in the palm of His hand!

Where does God live?
In Heaven, of course.
He is in my heart.
He is present in everyone I meet.
In my church.
When were you baptized?
When I was 3 months old
On my 8th birthday
When I was 6 months old
Oh, just last week!
What do you think Heaven looks like?
St. Peter at the big gate
One big happy family!
Fluffy clouds and angels
Church with a big choir performing

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With who would you like to have lunch?
Pope John Paul II
Mitt Romney
David Letterman
Martin Luther King Jr.
What is your preferred beverage after attending church?
I'll have the pinot noir...
Water, please.
Milk
Nice, cold lemonade
What do you like to do on Sundays?
I give one hour to God, and then get ready for the week.
I volunteer at the senior center.
Football and beer for me!
Sundays are for God.

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Where would we find you reading the Bible?
In the fourth pew from the back
In the living room with my family
Front and center at church
Anywhere, as long as the community is with me!
Where can you find God?
At church
All around me
In Heaven with Jesus and Mary
In me!
What do you wear to church?
I dig my Sunday khakis
White collared shirts all the way
No skin showing, please!
Never leave home without stockings and heels

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Who is allowed to get married in church?
A man and a woman
Anyone, as long as they invite my family
A man and a woman, as long as they are of the same religion
Anyone who believes in God!
Do you drink from the wine cup at church?
Oh, absolutely!
Only if my parents do
I don't drink before 5 p.m.
They shouldn't have alcohol at church!
When you go to pick up your friends for church, how do you let them know you're at the front door?
I text them...
I ring the doorbell
I knock on the door
I shout up to the window

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It's movie night at your church rec center. What is playing?
The Passion of the Christ
Sister Wives
King Arthur
Pat Robertson
How do you feel about non-believers?
It's a free country
I will show them that God is the Way, the Truth, and the Light
They're goin' straight to hell!
As long as I get my time with Jesus, everyone else can do what they please...
You're heading out to eat with friends from church. Where do you go?
Outback Steakhouse
The Capital Grille
Macaroni Grill
Buffalo Wild Wings

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What is your favorite part of church?
The wine with communion
The sermon... encore, encore!
The candelabras, no LEDs like those other churches!
The music, Alleluia!
What happens after you die?
First Purgatory, then Heaven... hopefully!
I'll be with my loved ones forever!
I've got nothing to worry about... "He who believes in Me will live."
The body goes back to dust, but you'll always have my memory.
If someone is hurt, what do you do?
Call 911
Start the prayer phone tree
Kneel at your bedside and pray for them
Place your hands on their head and ask the Lord to heal them

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How do you feel about sexual relations?
Only after marriage
Bring 'em on!
Reserved for procreation
God blessed me with a healthy sex life
What does the Devil mean to you?
EVIL!!
Tempting
Master of the Underworld
Not getting through this heart of mine!
How do you rate the sermons at church?
Borrrrrrring!
I'm all ears!
I could have read that in the Bible...
Such an inspiration!

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If someone is mean to you, what do you do?
I talk to my priest
I do something nice for them
I forgive them
I invite them to pray with me
When should you get married?
When I find "the one"
Marry early, marry often
When I'm ready to have children
When God tells me it's time
How long is your church service?
I can be out in 40 minutes if Father Jack gives the homily
Usually an hour and 10 minutes...
Just an hour, but holidays are longer
I clear my whole Sunday for church

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When it comes to religion, who is the ultimate authority ?
The Pope
The priesthood, of course
The Bible alone
Scriptures, New and Old Testaments!
Where did you get your morals?
From the lady at Sunday School
From my mother and father
From God, Himself
From my church family
Who makes up the Holy Trinity?
It's all a mystery to me!
Mom, dad, and my sister
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Father, Son and Holy Spirit

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How much water is involved with baptism?
Just a few cupfuls...
Do I have to go in the pool, Mom?
Naked baby alert!
Immerse me, baby!
Who is the head of your church?
Pope Francis
Russell M. Nelson
Archbishop Musa Panti Filibus
The senior minister, of course!
What is the purpose of life?
To treat others as you wish to be treated
To embody Jesus
To spread the word of God
To serve God and others

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You Got: