Can We Guess Which Premier League Team You Would Play For?

Zoe Samuel

Image: Martinns/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

There are some team sports that are "strong link" games; that is, one amazing player like a LeBron James or a Michael Jordan can hold up a team that is otherwise only decent, and shepherd them to victory. Other sports are "weak link" games; that is, one bad player will let the other side score, or fail to hold up their end. Soccer, or football as it is known in the land of its birth, is a weak-link game. This means that it's very important for the team to work together to cover one another's weaknesses, boost one another's strengths and understand the overall strategy.

This means that different teams tend to develop their own cultures that transcend any individual player. A star player, even one as big as David Beckham or as talented as Cristiano Ronaldo, cannot simply swan in and dominate the scene. Only the manager has this sort of power, and even he will tend to be hired in the image of the team. The result is that different teams tend to develop very strong and varied identities, and this affects who supports them; unlike Major League Baseball, which footie team you love tends to be about the one with whom you identify as much as it is about location.

Thus, picking a team on which to play is all about culture fit: how you train, how you see yourself, what sort of fans you'd click with, and who you are. Tell us a little about yourself and we'll find you the perfect Premier League team!

Do you see yourself as an underdog?

Have you ever had a rich patron?

How culturally diverse an area did you grow up in?

Do you think it's more about hard work, or talent?

Can you handle a harsh climate?

How important is team unity to you?

Have you ever surprised a lot of people?

Do you love a big city?

How late do you want to stay out when you party?

Be honest: if you saw a teammate take a dive, would you tell?

How do you feel about all these oligarchs buying up teams?

How important is an international reputation?

What colors work with your complexion?

Do you want to be the biggest fish in a smaller pond?

Internationally, which team would suit you best?

What position do you play?

Be honest: how much of a show-off are you?

What sort of house do you want to live in?

With which tabloid paper would you like to have a love-hate relationship?

What's your style as a player?

If you're knocked down, do you try to get up no matter how much you're bleeding?

Do you enjoy flashy moves like playing "keepie-uppie"?

What sort of charity will you support with your Premier League millions?

What utterly silly purchase will you make with that first 250K/week paycheck?

Which brand will sponsor you?

What celebrity will you marry?

What injury will you pray most to avoid?

When you get a little older, is managing a team on the cards?

What will be your role in the team, socially speaking?

How neat will your area in the locker room be?

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