Can We Guess Your Darkest Quality?

By: Emily Maggrett

Can We Guess Your Darkest Quality?
Image: Iuliia Isaieva / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

It's the worst question you can be asked in a job interview. What are your weaknesses? For natural reasons, most people don't like talking about (or thinking about) their darker qualities. After all, it's embarrassing, and besides, no one is without their redeeming characteristics. Maybe you're chronically late but a very generous friend, or a lousy cook who volunteers as a community gardener every Sunday. The point is, none of us are all good or all bad; we're each an interesting blend of the two.

That said, you're here to take a quiz about your darkest quality, not to meditate on the nature of good and evil! So, let's talk about fatal flaws. Do you know what yours is? It's possible that you don't. Every HR person has a story about someone who claimed to be too perfectionistic, only to be revealed as rather slap-dash about their work. Most of us are familiar with someone who brags about their "tough, no-nonsense" communication style, while the rest of us wish that they'd learn to communicate less passive-aggressively. And of course, many antisocial people think that calling themselves "sensitive introverts" makes up for being rude to others at social gatherings. Newsflash: sensitive people don't knowingly hurt other people's feelings!

But this quiz won't be that serious; it's just for fun. So, are you ready to get real (and really silly) about your darkest quality? It's time to take this quiz!


We've got a piece of hot gossip about your best friend. Do you want to hear it?
Aw, yes!
No. I don't want any drama.
No way. My bestie is an angel!
I'd ask to hear it just so that I can figure out how to protect my friend from the rumor mill.

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Your student loan payment is due soon, but your partner wants you to accompany them to an expensive concert. What do you do?
Ask my partner to buy my ticket for me
Charge it to my credit card, duh
Say no
Try to sneak in

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This morning, you flubbed a phone interview. What do you tell yourself afterwards?
"That interviewer has a crappy Instagram presence so whatever."
"They probably wouldn't have paid me well enough anyway."
"What a fool I am. That interviewer probably hates me."
"That wasn't the right place for me, but someday, I'll find a better match."

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Imagine you're at the park when a big, fluffy Spitz runs over and flops at your feet. What do you do?
Pet that giant floof!
Ask his owner whether he's pedigreed.
Give him thousands of hugs.
Run away in terror!

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The hot new professor at your college just gave you a C, ruining your GPA for the semester. How do you react?
I'd stalk his social media accounts until I found a damaging picture of him, then I'd share it with my classmates.
I'd roll my eyes and indulge in some shopping therapy.
I'd berate myself for hours for being such a dummy.
I'd pour my energy into studying for the next test.

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Which pop diva do you relate to the most?
Madonna
Katy Perry
Britney Spears
Solange

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You meet up with a Tinder date for coffee. You really like them, but apparently, the feeling isn't mutual. How do you cheer yourself up?
I spread a rumor that they've got a bad case of backne.
I immediately get back on Tinder and look for someone twice as hot.
I lie on the floor and listen to Leonard Cohen for hours.
I go out for a beer with my friends.

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A rascally pug who lives in your building appears at your door. He must have escaped from his owner's apartment! How will you deal with this emergency?
I live-tweet the process of returning him to his home.
I let him in and feed him gourmet dog biscuits.
I call the super, the owner, my parents, the FBI ...
I lock myself in my apartment in case the pug attacks.

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You show up at a party where you spot someone wearing the exact same outfit as you ... but it looks better on them. What do you do?
Loudly complain that I'm being "copied."
Go home and change.
Compliment the other person on looking so much cuter than me.
Laugh it off. Wearing the same outfit is not a big deal.

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You're a contestant on "Property Brothers," and your home renovation has been suspiciously drama-free. To make up for that, which expensive, impractical feature will you force Jonathan to add to your house?
A marble-topped kitchen island
A foyer fountain
Nothing, I don't want to torture Jonathan!
An ensuite master bath

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At your yearly review, your boss mentions that you could improve how quickly you complete your TPS reports. Otherwise, your review is glowing. How do you feel?
Furious! I can't wait to say nasty things about them to my work wife.
Happy. A good review means I can ask for a raise soon.
Depressed. How could I be so lazy?
Indifferent. Reviews are usually just a formality.

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Would you rather snuggle with a sweet dachshund or a snobbish black cat?
Which pet has the bigger Instagram following?
Snobbish black cats are my animal familiars.
Sweet dachshunds soothe my soul.
Ugh, dogs are awful. Give me that kitty!

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Your mom tells you a juicy secret about your sister. Do you leak it to the rest of the family?
Of course. I'm only human.
No. But I do use it as leverage the next time I need something from my sister.
Absolutely not. That would be wrong.
Haha. I wouldn't tell on purpose but I might let it slip to my brother.

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Someone offers you a diamond necklace in exchange for sleeping with them. What do you say?
"Sure, let's go! But don't tell anyone about this."
"Absolutely. If we sleep together twice, do I get two diamond necklaces?"
"No, thanks, that's against my morals. Sorry if that hurts your feelings."
"I guess, as long as you don't have any dogs in your home."

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At a conference, someone laughs the fact that you drive a Prius. How long does it take you to get over it?
Months. I can't stand being insulted.
Seconds. They're just jealous.
I don't get over it. Instead, I buy a new car out of shame.
I feel stung for a day, but quickly stop caring.

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Your adorable son asks you if he can have a puppy for Christmas. What do you tell him?
"OK, if Daddy will pay for it."
"Sure, but only if it's a French poodle."
"Your wish is my command."
"No way, kid."

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If you were a "Gossip Girl" character, which one would you be?
Blair, no question
Serena
Rufus
Lily

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What's your biggest culinary indulgence?
Bonbons or macarons
Champagne and caviar
Half-and-half
Sushi

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You have to deliver a speech for work. How do you prepare?
I rehearse it in front of the mirror multiple times.
I buy myself a killer red suit.
I leave the country (kidding not kidding.)
I wing it! It's just a work thing, not the Oscars.

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Your elderly aunt needs you to dog-sit her Scottie dogs while she gets a hip operation. What do you say?
"Nah, I'm too booked and busy this week."
"Why don't you send them to a dog spa?"
"Yes, darling Auntie. When should I come over?"
"I would rather perish than hobnob with canines."

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Were you popular in high school?
Oh, yeah!
I wasn't a Queen B, but I did belong to an exclusive clique.
No. I was kind of invisible.
Nah, but I had a decent amount of friends.

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In your opinion, how many towels does one person need?
3-4 towels, 5-6 washcloths
10-11 towels, 13-14 washcloths
5-6 towels, 8-9 washcloths
8-9 towels, 11-12 washcloths

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When someone else bumps into you, do you say sorry?
No! It was their mistake.
Ew, of course not.
Yes, almost as a reflex.
No, but I might goofily say, "Oops!"

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In your opinion, what's the greatest dog movie of all time?
"The Secret Life of Pets"
"101 Dalmatians"
"All Dogs Go to Heaven"
I don't care for dog movies.

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Do you like to read advice columns?
Girl. That's like half my life.
No. I prefer to read "Vogue."
I often write to advice columns!
No, they're boring.

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Would you rather live like "The Great Gatsby" or like David the Gnome?
How about like Serena van der Woodsen?
Gatsby. I want that glamorous excess, baby!
David the Gnome is a sweetie.
These are some very weird choices.

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When children insult you, does it bother you?
Yes! Kids should respect me and my cool adult ways.
Yes. Who do they think they are?
Yes. I take the critiques of children quite seriously.
No. They're little kids.

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Imagine that you're offered an amazing job as lead marketer for a dog daycare. There's just one catch: everyone in the office has a big, slobbery dog. Do you take the position?
Yes, as long as the money's right. I love dogs!
No. What if they get dog hair all over my clothes?
Sounds like a dream job!
Nope! I just cannot deal with those working conditions.

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You find out that your partner's best friend is secretly in love with you. How do you handle the situation?
I blab about it to three or four of my "closest" friends.
I pretend like I know nothing.
I move far away. I can't stand to hurt my friend's relationship.
Well ... is the best friend cute?

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At karaoke last night, you had a bit too much to drink and sang three songs off-key. Your friends thought it was hilarious, but how do you feel?
Mildly embarrassed
Sort of amused
So ashamed I want to sink through the floor
Neutral. It happens, you know?

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You Got:

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