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About This Quiz
Wine is for snobs. Beer is for knuckle draggers. Vodka is for drunks. Whiskey is for people who want both flavor and intoxication from their alcohol, and who know the best things come with age. What's your favorite?
How easily can you make up your mind?
I need a few options
I can do it quickly
Whatever
I need a lot of choices or I get bored
Do you constantly feel the need to prove yourself?
Not in a few years
I have proven myself
Yes. If I'm not showing off, I'm nothing!
No
Do your friends complain about how much you drink?
I'm rather worried about them to be honest
They complain about how stingy I am with my booze
They did, until I didn't have friends anymore
No
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How good at adulting are you?
I've got a job, and I'm only 23
I know what I want and how to get it
I can eat whatever I like! Whopee!
I'm offended you'd even ask me that question. And is "adulting" even a word?
How long does it take you to get dressed?
I take a minute
I have a favorite outfit
I put on my jorts, my crocs and I'm done
I take forever
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Do you ever drink at work?
I work at a distributor
I work in a pub
All the time
I work at a distillery
Do you get drunk every weekend?
Every other weekend
I don't get drunk really
I'm only allowed to on the weekend?
I get drunk about once a month
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Do you get drunk on more than just weekends?
When there's a holiday
When there's a wedding
When there is a day ending in y
When there's a birthday
Would you travel for a good drink?
I would search far and wide
Yes, if I know the place I need to go
I would drive somewhere, but fly? No.
I would walk five hundred miles and I would walk five hundred more...
Are you a showoff?
A little bit of one
Yes
I like to show off how much I can drink
No, I don't need to
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Do you like to spend money to show how much you have?
There are times, yes.
No. I spend enough money just spending money normally
When I have money, I do
Not usually
Do you actually know anything about whiskey?
I know a bit
I know some good stuff
I know it's wet
A lot
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Have you been to Scotland?
Yes, and I love it
No, but I dream of it
No, but if the booze is cheap I'm there
I live in Scotland
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Are you only concerned with how quickly you'll get drunk?
I want it to be easy, and interesting
I want it to take a while
Hell yeah, baby!
I want it to be different every time
Have you ever used scotch to clean something?
This has got to be a trick question
I've used Scotch Tape to clean things
Of course!
I've used Scotch-Brite. Is that what you're talking about?
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Have you ever tried to top up your car's tank with alcohol?
No
Once. I was stranded on a moor. It worked.
Loads of times
Do I look like an idiot to you?
Are you drinking in a room with panels and all leather furniture?
I'm drinking in a pub
My leather comes from cows from countries where barbed wire is illegal
Do steel chairs and cinder blocks count?
My wood panels have wood panels
Do you feel embarrassed by the idea of public drunkeness?
Yes
Not if it is from fine scotch
Not at all
I find the idea humiliating
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Did you have any beer already?
I had one, to be polite
I've had nothing. Not even water.
I've had five
No. What do you take me for?
Do you own real crystal tumblers?
No. They can carry the taste.
I own one. It's fancy.
Why? Doesn't it come in a bottle?
Yes. Two
Do you use one of those special ice makers that takes the bubbles out?
If my friends are coming over, yes
If it's still light out and I can enjoy the light in the ice
No. No extra water please
For certain drinks, yes.
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Do you need your whiskey to be of legal age to drink itself?
As long as it's been confirmed, I'm good.
It needs to be old enough to be a spinster
It just needs to exist
Yes
Do you belong to The Scotch Malt Whisky Society?
Sounds cool
I would if they have only the strong stuff
I'm not that sophisticated
Sure am
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You Got: