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About This Quiz
Picking a favourite pudding is as profoundly personal as selecting a romantic partner. It can be as stressful as choosing a color in which you plan to paint your home. In many ways, when a waiter brings a cart covered with puddings, what you are presented with is little more than a device for manufacturing buyer's remorse. Of course, there are the old standards, either beloved recipes remembered from one's childhood, or mass-manufactured sweets which one consumes shamelessly in front of the shop where they were procured.
One's sweet tooth isn't just a product of some biologically driven preference for certain nutrients. It is also a product of the times and places in which we enjoy puddings. Some puddings are the sort of food one eats only on special occasions, which may give what would otherwise be an unremarkable foodstuff a sense of exclusivity. Some puddings are comfort food, preferred by those who perhaps war with their impulses to comfort themselves with food, or maybe embrace it. With thousands of puddings in the world, this can become a very complex guessing game indeed. To this end, we have devised questions that we will use to guess your favourite pudding. Do you think we'll get it right?
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Of which of your behaviors are you most secretive?
I'm compulsive about not wasting anything.
Sometimes I like to just watch television ads and fast forward through the programming.
I like to examine my pimples with a magnifying glass, once I've popped them.
I like to collect coins so I can run my fingers through piles of them.
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Don't worry, we're not judging. How often do you indulge in your preferred dessert?
Four time a year
Once a month
Every week
Every day
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Do you readily admit the nature of your favourite pudding to friends or family?
Yes. I am proud of it.
Not exactly. My precise feelings are complicated.
No, it's shameful.
I don't even admit it to myself.
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When are you most likely to satisfy your sweet (or savoury) tooth with your favourite pudding?
The depths of winter
In spring
Weekends
Late at night
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How likely is it to have your preferred dessert with lunch?
It's not unheard of.
It's rare.
It happens from time to time.
It's common.
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If your favourite pudding particularly popular?
No one asks for it.
Yes, it's fairly popular.
It's extremely popular.
It's somewhat popular among a certain set.
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Would one have your ideal dessert in spring or summer?
It's a winter food.
Yes, of course!
Maybe, on a very hot day
Only if I could keep it chilled
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Was your favourite pudding an acquired taste?
Yes, but I worked hard to get it.
No, it's easy for everyone, except for very strange people, and they exist.
Yes, it's one of those things you either love or hate.
No, everyone loves it.
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What superstition do you believe, but would never publicly admit?
5G causes dandruff.
Birds can read your mind — not my mind, your mind.
The government is putting dihydrogen monoxide in the tap water.
I used to believe in Slenderman, but since I love my favourite pudding so much, I don't believe anyone can be so slender anymore.
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Of what sort of technology are you suspicious?
Wristwatches are an easy way to bug everyone.
GMOs make me think of UFOs. Think about it. Boom!
How do they make American cheese? Is it really cheese? Why do they need their own kind? Is it nuclear?
My voice assistant freaks me out. They sound like a dead relative of mine.
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What temptation do you find irresistible?
Shouting at the television
Writing in the snow
Shouting into large spaces to hear the echo
Collecting pretty things
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At what age did you first have a positive encounter with your preferred dessert?
I was 20.
I was a little child.
I was almost 30.
I was in my teens.
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Do you take part in any efforts to improve your community?
Yes, I help tidy the neighborhood.
Yes, I work in our community garden.
I pay my taxes! That's all I owe anyone!
I've convinced the post office to open a second queue.
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What sort of event makes you crave your ideal after-dinner treat?
Christmas
Rainy days
Smelling it
Being offered some
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How experienced are you in the kitchen?
I live in the kitchen!
I cook most of my meals.
I can make basic things.
I'm useless.
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When do you shop for a new mobile?
When my old one is so broken, it signals not by vibration, but by smoke, like a Papal Conclave
When the new version of my current device comes out, I buy the new one.
When there is a major technological leap, or when my contract is up
I always buy the latest and greatest as soon as it is out.
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If anything, what outward signs of satisfaction do you produce when you gorge yourself on the pudding about which you fantasize?
I groan and roll my eyes.
I make involuntary "mmmm" noises.
I smile like an idiot the entire time.
My face is smeared with the evidence of my satisfaction.
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If you knew your favourite pudding was on offer, how would you adjust your approach to eating dinner?
I would save as much room as possible.
I would not hold back at all.
I would cut back a little on other treats.
I would skip the vegetables.
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How good are you at preparing your preferred dessert from scratch?
I could do it blindfolded.
I can do it reasonably well.
I can't do it without instructions.
As it is very simple, I ... can't do it at all.
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What is at the top of your list of qualities you look for in a romantic partner?
I look for someone who isn't annoying.
I look for someone I could talk to for hours.
I look for someone kind.
I look for someone with whom I share real chemistry.
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When you dream about your favourite pudding, what is the most memorable feature in those dreams?
It says supportive things to me.
It helps me with my chores.
It tells me off.
It holds me in its arms.
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What system do you have in place to decide when to add items to your wardrobe?
When I begin to run out of clothing that isn't ruined, I buy some new items.
I tend to go mad with certain items for short periods, like buying loads of socks.
I have a calendar, and I am disciplined about one in, one out.
I don't have one! Who does that?
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How do you feel after you eat your preferred dessert?
Complete
Ecstatic
Satisfied
Guilty
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How often can you indulge in your preferred dessert without it impacting your figure?
Once or twice a month
Nine or 10 times a year
Once a week
Twice a week
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Do you ever get the feeling that someone nearby is preparing your favourite pudding in secret?
Never!
I certainly have my hopes.
Frequently
No, not nearby
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What facet of an object tells you that it is a thing of quality?
If it is recycled, it's good.
If it is elegant, it is good.
If it stood the test of time, it is good.
If it is cheap, it is good.
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What kind of food do you absolutely hate?
Shellfish
Mince meat
Salad
Spicy food
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When caught doing something you should not be doing, how do you try to wriggle out of responsibility?
I never avoid responsibility.
I pretend to be confused.
I come up with a historical justification.
I just make up huge lies.
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Have you ever had an irrational reaction at the sight of someone else eating your ideal dessert?
Yes, especially when I made it myself
Not unless I don't have some of my own
No, I know there's always enough to go around.
I get this feeling of fear of missing out, and I feel compelled to dive in.
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