Can We Guess Your Favourite Football Team?
By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
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Image: Wikicommons by Soccer illustrated.
About This Quiz
Football has been around for thousands of years. That means there's been a football fandom for a very long time, even if it was not always known by that name. These days, of course, the game has become professionalised and the quality has greatly increased. The age of mass media has made it easier than ever to follow your local team's every move. Meanwhile, teams have become ever more savvy at monetising their brands, making the team strip into a must-have game-day accessory and releasing team apps where fans can be in a constant dialogue with the team machine. The upshot is that a person's team can really start to take over their life, usually in a positive way (though this does rather depend on whether they win often).
Still, just because all fandoms have increased in intensity does not mean they are alike! Each team's followers have their own particular rituals and habits. These are born out of a combination of location, local culture, and the native cultures of the fandom themselves. If you tell us a little about yourself, we can pinpoint the team you love with near scientific accuracy! Let's get started!
START QUIZ
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Chris Whitehead/ Cultura / Getty Images Plus/ Getty Images
Do you love a good derby with a longstanding rival?
No. I hate it. I can't stop watching, but I hate it.
Everyone is our longstanding rival.
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Chris Whitehead/ Cultura / Getty Images Plus/ Getty Images
How do you like to vocalise your encouragement during a game?
Reciting beautiful poetry
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Flashpop/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
How many layers do you wear to games?
Nothing. Shirts are for wimps.
I wear a T-shirt because I'm hard as nails, I am.
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Image_Source_/ Cultura / Getty Images
If you had to choose a non-alcoholic beverage during the game, what would it be?
I don't understand. They make such drinks? Why?
Anything I can use as a weapon
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Flashpop/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
Who goes with you to games?
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Flashpop/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
When you're not watching the footie, what do you do with a Saturday afternoon?
That's the only thing I do on Saturdays.
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Jose Luis Pelaez Inc/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
How did you come to be a fan of your beloved team?
Everyone at my church is one.
They're the only team worthy of my fandom.
I visited the area many times and liked it.
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South_agency/ E+/ Getty Images
If your team is knocked out of the running for the F.A. Cup (or equivalent), to whom do you switch your loyalty?
I don't. I just root against our rival.
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Jose Luis Pelaez Inc/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
How internationally recognisable is your team's brand?
Less than most of my fellow fans would think
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simonkr/ E+ / Getty Images
What do you spend annually on your fandom?
£50 on tickets, £1,000 on fines for what I do later
£1,000 on tickets and merchandise
£5,000 on tickets, merchandise and travelling to see them
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Image Source/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
Be honest: Is there anyone in your life who wishes you'd take your obsession down a notch?
Not any more, there isn't (because we're not friends any more, not for any more sinister reason).
Pretty much everyone feels that way.
No, I'm quite mellow about it.
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The Good Brigade/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
Have you ever actually played football yourself?
Only as a pretext to start fights
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Image Source/ Image Source/ Getty Images
One of your players takes a dive. How do you feel about it?
Depends. Did he get away with it?
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vm/ E+ / Getty Images
The game has been rained off. How do you feel about this?
Why would you rain something off? Play on, I say!
More fighting time for me!
Upset, until I get my refund
Philosophical. We need rain to live.
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Tom Werner/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
Where do you watch games, if you can't go in person?
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Image Source/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
How central to your identity is being a fan of your team?
It's who I am on Saturdays.
It's important, but not the most important.
I could mostly take or leave it.
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Tom Werner/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
What field do you work in?
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Chris Whitehead/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
If your team was cursed to never win the league again for at least twenty years, would you give up on them?
I already have given up on that. It doesn't affect how much I enjoy the games.
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simonkr/ E+ / Getty Images
What would you be willing to spend on a ticket to see your team play the finals of the Champion's League?
£1,000 because it'll never happen again
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Image Source/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
What less-than-pleasant stereotype about your team is actually kind of true?
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Chris Whitehead/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
How much do you take it for granted that your team will always be in the Premier League or equivalent?
I'd be shocked if we weren't.
I suppose something very serious could happen, but I doubt it.
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South_agency/ E+ / Getty Images
If your team loses a regular game, how do you express your feelings about this?
I forget it about five minutes later.
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fafali.org/ Moment / Getty Images
Productivity in certain towns is related to the local team's performance. Does your team's performance affect yours?
Yes. I'm at least 20% more effective when we're winning.
I can be a bit hyper if we win.
Somewhat, but only the day after a game
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RgStudio/ E+ / Getty Images
How would you persuade another person of the superiority of your team?
I have a Powerpoint presentation ready for this!
I'd show them all our trophies.
I'd make them watch a game.
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Lorado/ E+ / Getty Images
What's the furthest you've ever travelled to see your team play an away game?
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Chris Tobin/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
What type of area do you prefer to live in?
Anywhere suits me, really
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RgStudio/ E+ / Getty Images
You see your top striker in the pub. What do you say to him?
I can't even speak. I'm too excited. He gets it, though.
I don't say anything. I am too dignified.
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Image Source/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
On the way to the game, at what point do you start the team chant?
As soon as I get off the bus!
As we come into the stadium
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skynesher/ E+ / Getty Images
You see the enemy fans leaving the stadium. What happens next?
We say awful things, but security is watching, so we behave.
It's going down. It's going down big time.
We jeer at each other, then all go for a drink.
I have taken off my jersey, so I just sneak off.
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Image Source/ DigitalVision / Getty Images
What colour(s) suit you the best?
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