Can We Guess Your Military Nickname?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Can We Guess Your Military Nickname?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

If there's one thing anyone who has been in the military knows, it's that the entire institution, from top to bottom and across all four branches, just loves an acronym. There are acronyms for branches, planes, weapons, housing, ranks, and even food. Some acronyms describe how a piece of hardware works (for example, radar, which is actually a portmanteau word). 

There are acronyms that tell you where you are, or how well or badly things are going. Generally speaking, if there are three words necessary for describing something, the military will turn them into one short one.

This is just one of the examples of military nicknaming. Generals in particular always have a name by which their troops know them, and they had better hope it's flattering. Pilots invariably collect a nickname, as fans of Tom Cruise have been aware for some decades now. 

Likewise, military bases, the on-base dogs, politicians, planes, and colonels' wives are all prone to picking up a moniker. These are typically affectionate, sometimes snarky, and every so often, just a smidge on the cutting side. Either way, they're always profoundly descriptive - so tell us about yourself, and we'll see what name your comrades in arms would give you!


Do you do things by the book?
Usually, yes.
I can't tell you!
Not really.
Of course.

Advertisement

Would you call yourself a hero?
No.
Not in public.
LOL, no.
If I had acted heroically.

Advertisement

Would other people call you a hero?
All the time, it's weird.
They would if they knew.
LOL no.
Depends on who you ask.

Advertisement

Are you actually kinda scary?
If you're my enemy, I might be.
Yes, to everyone.
Not at all.
I try to be.

Advertisement

Are you the gossip in your unit?
I occasionally dabble.
No, I'm a steel trap.
Of course!
Not really.

Advertisement

What's the last thing you were written up for?
Hosting a party.
Killing too many people.
Talking back.
I have never had a demerit.

Advertisement

How clean and tidy is your bunk?
Very.
Fairly.
Below par.
You could do surgery on it and not get sick.

Advertisement

How often do you call home?
Daily.
Never.
Every other day.
Twice a week.

Advertisement

Are you going career?
Definitely.
No, I want to make more money as a paid assassin.
Probably not.
Probably.

Advertisement

A new recruit arrives. What do you do?
Show them the ropes.
Ignore them until they prove themselves.
Take them for a drink.
Make sure they know what is expected of them.

Advertisement

You have to work closely with a person of the opposite gender. They need to get changed. Do you avert your eyes?
Of course, that's polite.
If they care, then yes.
Only if they ask.
Yes, that is the rule.

Advertisement

If you saw bullying in your unit, what would you do?
Beat the bully.
Quietly play a mean trick on the bully.
Pretend I didn't see it.
Report it.

Advertisement

Can you make just about anything taste good?
No, I am only an OK cook.
No, I can't cook.
I'm a surprisingly good cook.
I'm a very good cook.

Advertisement

How technically savvy are you?
As much as the job requires.
More than the job requires.
Not at all.
I am rated on all weapons and machines we use.

Advertisement

Are you good at hand-to-hand?
Very, yes.
Yes, the best - though I don't look it.
No, I'm terrible.
I'm average in the unit.

Advertisement

Are you a good shot?
Pretty decent.
Scarily good.
Not really.
I'm OK.

Advertisement

Do you know all the regs by heart?
I know most of them.
I know the key ones.
I wish I could remember them!
Of course.

Advertisement

Would you make a good quartermaster?
Probably not.
I might, actually.
Definitely not!
Yes.

Advertisement

When you polish your boots, which of the below best describes them?
Shiny.
Steely.
Scruffy.
A perfect mirror to infinity.

Advertisement

Your buddy has forgotten to make his bed and an inspection is coming. What do you do?
Make it for him.
Nothing.
Warn him.
Rat him out before I get blamed.

Advertisement

No matter how much you work out, is there any wobbly area you just can't shake?
No, I have the body of Adonis.
No, I'm wiry.
Yep, my belly just has a jiggle and that's me!
No, I stay in good shape if I keep at it.

Advertisement

How would you raise morale in a sticky situation?
Show courage.
Kill a bad guy.
Make a joke.
Remind everyone we are professionals and we can do this.

Advertisement

What's your party trick when the unit is just hanging out?
Hosting parties.
Five-finger fillet.
Karaoke.
I clean up afterwards.

Advertisement

Why did you join up?
To serve my country.
To kill people.
To get out of my hometown.
Family tradition.

Advertisement

How much do you like being in the military?
I love it!
I like it for now.
Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it.
I like it quite a lot.

Advertisement

What branch are you in?
Army
Navy
Air Force
Marines

Advertisement

What is a good reason to disobey an order?
It's immoral.
It's annoying.
It's hard work.
It's illegal.

Advertisement

Are you the funny one in your unit?
No, but I laugh at others' jokes.
Definitely not.
Definitely yes.
I try to joke, but no one gets my jokes.

Advertisement

Do you care about the wider geopolitics of any given deployment?
Not during the mission.
Not at all.
A little.
Yes, but I don't comment publicly.

Advertisement

Unexpectedly, you have an hour to relax. What do you do?
Nap.
Sharpen weapons.
Snack.
Read a book.

Advertisement

You Got:

Featured