Image: Act III Communications / Buttercup Films / The Princess Bride Ltd.
About This Quiz
It's been more than 30 years since the cult classic "The Princess Bride" hit movie theaters, and it's never been more beloved. And, by "beloved," we mean turned into memes and GIFs on the internet. (Hey, that's how we show love in the 21st century.)
But let's face it: The movie is a treasure trove of great one-liners, like the line Inigo Montoya is famous for repeating, the mini-monologue by the Impressive Clergyman and a host of quotable phrases from Miracle Max and his wife. One of our favorites is even quoted by the movie's protagonist while rolling down a hill!
Fast facts: The 90-minute movie, based on the book of the same name by William Goldman, is a live-action fairytale about a woman named Buttercup and her true love. Like most fairytales, they are separated and must find a way to be reunited. Along the way, we meet some interesting characters who, unironically, deliver some of the movie's most memorable scenes.
Are you a Princess Bride expert? Be honest, how many times have you seen it? See if you can remember the second half of these memorable lines from the 1987 film. Your failure on this quiz is ... inconceivable!
"Do you feel you're doing well?"
"I think you're a special guy."
"I hate for people to die embarrassed."
Phew, we hate for people to die embarrassed, too. It's big (get it?) of Fezzik to be concerned about his enemy's feelings, or at least he conveys that with the first line. That second line, though, is a bit of a gut punch.
"Everyone gets a trophy here."
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"What is your name?"
"You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Poor Inigo Montoya. That guy really knows how to hold a grudge, which is why he greets just about everybody with the same miniature speech: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"I'm going to kill you now."
"Do you have six fingers on your right hand?"
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Are
Want
Wish
Westley's history of saying "as you wish" dates back to his relationship with Buttercup when he was just a farmhand working for her family. After he disappears and comes back, that phrase is how he reveals his true identity and that he's not the man in black.
Know
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"... to get away from his wife."
"... hope they catch something."
"... through eel-infested waters."
Vizzini is trying to school everyone on the "eel-infested waters" they're traveling through right before Buttercup jumps overboard into those very same waters. Luckily, Fezzik is around, even though he can only "dog-paddle."
"... leave them alone."
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"... the woods."
"... the castle."
Miracle Max's quote, "Have fun storming the castle," is probably something you've heard in day-to-day conversation but couldn't remember where it came from. And now you're taking this quiz that tells you! Fate is funny like that.
"... the ship."
"... the troops."
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"I swear my life on it!"
Prince Humperdinck must have some sniffer on him since iocane powder is described in "The Princess Bride" as being odorless. But he's sure of himself — so sure that he says he swears his life on it.
"What is it used for?"
"Will it kill him?"
"Mix it in his drink!"
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"We like the mostly dead around here."
"Mostly dead we can work with."
"See, mostly dead is still slightly alive."
Talk about seeing the silver lining in a situation. We guess "mostly dead" is still "slightly alive" if you're a "glass half full" type of person. But it still leaves a body in pretty bad shape, don't you think?
"He is your friend, right? Never mind."
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"What's inconceivable this time?"
"Please stop saying that when I'm around."
"Why do you keep using that word?"
"I do not think it means what you think it means."
We'd be lying if we said we haven't used this one a time or two to school people in using proper vocabulary. Does that make us bad people? (Please say no.) This quote is spoken by Montoya after one too many "Inconceivables!" are said in his presence.
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"I'm just big-boned."
"I eat my Wheaties every morning."
"I don't even exercise."
Fezzik, played by the 7'4", 500-pound Andre the Giant, utters this phrase when he suggests that he and the man in black drop their weapons and fight with their hands. The man in black, rightfully, acknowledges his adversary's physical superiority.
"You're all just shrimps."
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"... when pizza is on the line."
"... when death is on the line."
Vizzini is on a rant in this movie scene where he also claims that the most famous blunder is getting "involved in a land war in Asia." The slightly lesser-known blunder of challenging a Sicilian when death is on the line is apparently second.
"... when it's time to choose a wine."
"... when it comes to a battle of wits."
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"Anyone who says differently is selling something."
Buttercup is referring to her sadness over the disappearance of Westley and doesn't even realize she's talking to Westley! He plays along for a bit, letting her know that life is full of pain, and "anyone who says differently is selling something."
"It's pain and hurt and then you die."
"Anyone who disagrees is not very smart."
"You better learn to get used to it."
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"... because you are high, high above me."
"... since I am only waiting around to kill you."
Inigo Montoya finds himself staring over the side of a cliff in a position to help the man in black and offers some rope he has at the top, but adds: "I do not think you would accept my help since I am only waiting around to kill you."
"... since I am a peasant by comparison."
"... because I really have no idea what I'm doing either."
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"... and things can get ugly quick."
"... and the gods won't be happy."
"... and you get rotten miracles."
Nobody wants a rotten miracle, so it's best to heed Miracle Max's advice. He's being rushed through his process when he warns that rushing a miracle gets you rotten miracles. Seems logical to us.
"... and the bad guys win."
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Marry you
Love again
Buttercup, after hearing news that Westley has been killed by pirates, takes to her sickbed. She shuts herself alone in her room, refusing to eat, eventually letting everyone know "I will never love again." And, hey, she appears to have kept her word.
Understand life
Settle down
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"... my birthday party to attend and my mother to call."
"... my wedding to arrange and my wife to murder."
Prince Humperdinck has a lengthy to-do list. After rattling off his list of nefarious tasks, he concludes by saying, "... and Gilda to blame for it. I'm swamped." Sounds like a regular Monday to us.
"... and I really must be going."
"... and Westley to frame for my actions."
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"... a woman who doesn't want you."
"... the queen of the kingdom?"
"... a herd of goats?"
"... what I've rightfully stolen."
Just imagine being upset over someone trying to kidnap what you've rightfully stolen. The humanity of it all! Vizzini utters this comical quote to the man in black when he is trying to get Buttercup in his possession, so to speak.
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"... brings us together today."
If you didn't read that quote in the Impressive Clergyman's accent, you did it all wrong. The quote continues, "Love, true love, will follow you forever." It's undoubtedly one of the movie's most memorable scenes.
"... drives us all crazy."
"... we all aim to achieve."
"... true love is all about."
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"... and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?"
The man in black knows he's out-muscled when he's set to take on Fezzik, played by the colossal Andre the Giant. The two opt for hand-to-hand combat, which we're thinking wasn't terribly smart for the undersized Westley.
"... and we'll call a truce in the name of true love?"
"... and we'll band together to fight our common enemy?"
"... and we'll dance a merry jig."
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"We should grab lunch sometime."
"Too bad I don't like you."
"I hate to kill you."
Montoya says, "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you," to the man in black. He offers this retort: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die." Hey, at least the pair of them is on the same page.
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
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"Do you think you can die more quickly next time?"
"The second time will be quite different."
"Why couldn't you just stay dead like everyone else?"
"A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight."
Humperdinck is getting sassy with Westley in this quote, letting him know that he intends to draw Westley's death out a bit longer than the last one. Apparently, it takes more than one death to nip Westley in the bud.
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Loneliness
Westley
Suicide
Nothing says love like charming your beloved as an "alternative to suicide," which is what Prince Humperdinck says to Buttercup. In fairness, Buttercup is pretty unhappy, so Humperdinck's request isn't without merit.
Marriage
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"... and take these two Tylenol."
"... and dream of large women."
This quote is only funny because it's delivered to Fezzik who, of course, would need a companion who was also, well, rather large. It's a clever saying that plays on Fezzik's enormous size.
"... and may the Lord be with you."
"... and try not to drink too much."
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Entertainment
Evil
Books
When grandpa is trying to convince his grandson to get enthused about "The Princess Bride" as a book, he uses a quintessential grandparent-y saying, "In my day, television was called books," an obvious ode to a time before picture entertainment.
Trash
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"Fine. Have it your way. We'll take the fire-breathing dragon detour."
"Well, at least we'll die here together in each other's arms."
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
The fact that no one has ever survived the Fire Swamp seems a pretty good reason for Buttercup to be doubtful if you ask us. Westley is pretty sure of himself, though, with this quote ... or maybe he just lives by the "fake it 'til you make it" mantra.
"You're probably right, but let's try it anyway."
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"We can be angels in love."
"All it can do is delay it for a while."
One of Westley's "awww" moments with Buttercup is this quote about true love: "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." Westley imparts this tidbit of wisdom on all of us after he and Buttercup are reunited.
"We will be together even in death."
"True love will always win."
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"... and I honestly don't know how to repay you for everything you've done for me the past weeks."
"... unlike your son, who is a real jerk. I guess we'll blame that on his mother."
"... and I felt like you deserved to know how I felt before I left."
"... and I won’t be seeing you again since I’m killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite."
Again with the dying! Buttercup is really having some issues coming to terms with her relationship with Humperdinck in "The Princess Bride." She bestows one last kiss upon his father, alluding to her imminent plans. Not to worry, though, no Buttercups were harmed in the making of the movie.
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"... a plan for overthrowing the kingdom?"
"... a dollar I can borrow?"
"... six fingers on your right hand?"
Montoya is still on the lookout for the six-fingered man who killed his father when he presents this question to the man in black. Luckily, the man in black has only the traditional five fingers, so he's safe ... for now.
"... an extra seat so I can hitch a ride to the castle?"
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"I don't think they exist."
Maybe he's trying to convince himself as much as Buttercup, but when the pair start to talk about "Rodents of Unusual Size," Westley remarks that he doesn't think they exist. Of course, that theory has to be tested.
"I hope we don't encounter any."
"They're actually rodents of regular size."
"Why do you have to make it personal?"
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"Just look at the missus and I. Been married 470 years."
"Except for a nice M.L.T., a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich."
We'll take Miracle Max's word for it on this one. Mutton is meat processed from older sheep. We feel about it like Jerry from "Seinfield" did: Inedible. But, hey, if mutton if your thing, more power to you!
"Just kidding. Sleeping in is the greatest thing in the world."
"Ain't it grand? Ain't it great?"
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"... that's why I have Fezzik."
"... and you’re no match for my brains."
Vizzini is trying to determine what type of battle he and the man in black can undertake to find a winner, saying, "I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains." Alrighty then.
"... so I won't even try."
"... and I don't think I should have to."
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"Kill them all, I said! Kill them all!"
"It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.”
We don't know if we'd call war a "long and glorious tradition," but it makes for a pretty funny phrase coming from Vizzini to Fezzik. Fezzik could easily be a one-man wrecking machine if he weren't so darn lovable.
"Why are you getting scared now?"
"Now you have the nerve to ask me for more money?"
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"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"
We suspect very few husbands could get away with calling their wives a witch, but Valerie seems to take the quote from Miracle Max in stride, responding, "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"
"Are you going to burn me at the stake?"
"I'll cast a spell on you, fool!"
"Why do you tempt me?"
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"... don't you?"
"... except this. This is definitely not a trap."
"... it's just in my nature."
"... which is why I’m still alive."
Humperdinck is a suspicious soul, probably because he's also pretty shady himself. It always seems like the ones who are distrusting should be trusted the least. Why does it work out like that?
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"... lies do not become us."
Westley delivers this one-liner to Count Rugen, saying, "We are men of action ... lies do not become us." In short, he's letting Rugen know what he thinks about the situation. Rugen, for his part, responds "Well spoken, sir."
"... not men of inaction."
"... I wish I could say the same for you."
"... so let's have some action."
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"Working on a pig farm?!"
"Unemployed in Greenland?!"
Who knows how Vizzini and Fezzik teamed up with Fezzik being unemployed in Greenland and Vizzini a true Sicilian, but the partnership makes for some comical moments throughout the movie. Except for this one. This one is just rude.
"Well, do you, you big dolt?!"
"I don't even know where you were!"
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