Can You Name the Simpsons Character from Three Hints?

Zoe Samuel

Image: Fox

About This Quiz

Ever since then-candidate George H. W. Bush was shocked by the backlash for his comment that, "Americans should be more like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons," it has been understood that America loves the Simpsons. The cartoon family, colloquially known as America's First Family, is representative of a very particular type of American family that was considered the status quo at the time of its inception (or at least, at the time that its creators came of age). That is, it features a heterosexual married couple with 2.4 kids (two regular sized and one tiny one), who are able to support an entire family on the single income of a high school graduate. They live in a four-bedroom house with a yard. The  breadwinner of this unusual family is presented as a lovable loser despite the fact that he's faithful to his wife, he has a steady job in the modern economy despite not having gone to college, and he even works in carbon-free energy. 

This just confirms what we all knew all along: The Simpsons aren't really losers. They're goofy and flawed, but they're actually winning - in their own lives, as well as America's hearts. How well do you know them and the colorful cast who surround them?

I own a nuclear plant, have a gorilla vest, and think everything is "excellent". Who am I?

Mr. Burns is the supervillain of Springfield. Truly, he is a terrible human being who literally blocks out the sun and takes candy from babies. He sometimes gets a conscience, but only ever briefly.

I'm a devout Christian, my wife passed away, and I have two sons. Who am I?

Flanders is Homer's nemesis even though he doesn't know it. He's a sunny-eyed optimist and loves Jesus. He accidentally married a stripper in Vegas once.

I love donuts, I need Marge more than anything, and I hate my job. Who am I?

Homer Simpson is a lovable loser who, as we've discussed, is actually an incredible winner. He is very fortunate in his marriage and less so in his boss!

I run the Kwik-E-Mart, I am Hindu, and I have eight kids. Who am I?

Apu has an arranged marriage but falls in love with his beautiful wife Manjula anyway. They have eight kids and work together running the convenience store and gas station called the Kwik-E-Mart.

I'm Bart's bestie, I'm a big nerd, and I wear glasses. Who am I?

Milhouse is Bart's best friend, though they actually don't have a huge amount in common. He can be cheeky but is mostly a good kid. He's in love with Lisa.

I'm a beloved children's entertainer, I clearly smoke too much, and I'm Jewish. Who am I?

Krusty the Klown is a Jewish presenter of children's TV. He sometimes dabbles in stand-up and comeback specials but mostly he stays in his lane. He comes from a poor immigrant Jewish background.

I run Homer's favorite bar, I get pranked by Bart all the time, and I wear an apron. Who am I?

Moe's Tavern is where Homer goes for a beer after work. It's kind of a dive but everyone knows your name there... because not that many people go there.

I love Mr. Burns, I love short shorts, and I love roller skating. Who am I?

Smithers is a closeted character. He worships Mr. Burns for reasons unknown and will do anything for him. Sometimes he gets fired, but Burns always takes him back.

I run the elementary school, I love Edna, and I'm terribly out of touch. Who am I?

Seymour Skinner is the principal of the high school. He's tough but tries to be fair. He's also in love with Edna, though they never really get to it.

I'm a mobster, I once hired Bart, and I'm a very respectful gentleman. Who am I?

Fat Tony is a mobster who runs all the organized crime in Springfield. He hires Bart to work for him without seeming bothered by him being horribly underage. It's criminal!

I run the police force, I do not like to exercise, and my son is Ralph.

Clarence "Clancy" Wiggum is the police chief in Springfield. He's not very good at his job but he's a devoted father to his rather simple son, Ralph.

I'm the smartest character in the show, I love my sax, and I'm a Buddhist. Who am I?

Lisa Simpson is the moral center of the show. She is hardworking, smart, and decent. Whatever Lisa says is usually right, even if it takes everyone else forever to catch up.

I'm a doctor, I have six children, and I charge 40K for a quadruple bypass. Who am I?

Dr. Hibbert is the Simpsons' family doctor, when they can afford him. He's not the most charitable but he is the best doctor, seemingly in all fields.

I'm a TV doctor, I'm terrible at what I do, but I do it for $129.99! Who am I?

Nick Riviera is a quack but he does actually do a good job with some patients, not least Homer himself. He often has to check textbooks mid-surgery though.

I'm a lawyer, I'm terrible at it, and I work at the mall. Who am I?

Lionel Hutz is a bad lawyer, or a surprisingly good lawyer, depending on the needs of the plot. He works out of the mall and doesn't specialize in any particular area.

I'm Homer's sister-in-law, I have a twin, and I never married Sideshow Bob. Who am I?

Patty Bouvier is Marge's chain smoking sister. She's very mean to Marge, but usually comes through in the end. She and Principal Skinner are an item for an episode.

I'm a teacher, I was catfished by Bart, and I marry Ned Flanders. Who am I?

Edna Krabappel really wants to marry and finally gets her wish in the form of widowed Ned Flanders. Before that she falls for a dude who doesn't exist, who is really Bart catfishing her.

I tell people to "eat my shorts", I once cut the head off a statue, and I have a treehouse. Who am I?

The show was originally planning to make Bart the main character, but people found Homer more relatable. Bart is always in trouble but he has a good heart and the right intentions ... usually.

I'm a fourth grader, I'm a bully, and I point and laugh. Who am I?

Whenever something bad happens to someone, Nelson will point and laugh at them. This is especially true if he made it happen. He's the class bully in Bart's grade.

I'm Scottish, I'm red-haired, and I do the same job as Hagrid. Who am I?

Groundskeeper Willie is the surprisingly ripped groundskeeper at the school. Sometimes he weeps when his lawn is messed up, as he takes pride in his work. He does not like kids much.

I'm the Simpsons' dog, I once got brainwashed, and I'm a rescue. Who am I?

Santa's Little Helper is the Simpsons' dog. He runs away but they find him and bring him home. They got him after his old owner ditched him for running slowly in greyhound racing.

I love comics, I wear a giant T-shirt, and I'm mean to everyone. Who am I?

Comic Book Guy is the rather verbally abusive owner of his comic book store. He hates his customers and belittles them, and also "fake geek girl" tests everyone who comes in.

I run the town, I'm super corrupt, and my nickname is "Diamond". Who am I?

Mayor Joseph Fitzgerald O'Malley Fitzpatrick O'Donnell The Edge Quimby is the mayor of Springfield. Quimby rarely sees a bribe he doesn't take. He's unethical, shortsighted, and a bad mayor.

I'm an aspiring serial killer, I'm voiced by Frasier Crane himself, and I was once in showbiz. Who am I?

Sideshow Bob is voiced by Kelsey Grammer, who played Frasier on the eponymous sitcom. He constantly wants to kill Bart, who he blames for ruining his life.

I'm a newsreader, I once won the lottery, and I love to give "My Two Cents". Who am I?

Brockman is a terrible newsreader but he loves his job. He hates Arnie Pye, the traffic guy, and he makes $500,000 a year.

Hi, I'm this character! You might remember me from such tips as the way this hint is phrased, and also from the time I married Selma. Who am I?

Troy McClure is a presenter and movie star who is in basically every video in the world of the show. He is romantically linked to a number of women in the town of Springfield.

I'm the pastor of the Simpsons' church, I have a wicked and beautiful daughter, and I once performed a Hindu wedding. Who am I?

Timothy Lovejoy is an eager pastor when he first arrives but Ned Flanders soon puts him off that. He's apathetic but occasionally preaches some fire and brimstone, just for fun.

I'm a housewife, I was once a cop, and I conceived my first child on a minigolf course. Who am I?

Marge Simpson is the long-suffering wife of Homer. Actually, her life is pretty good, as we mentioned earlier; her school-leaver husband has a steady job that pays for a big house. Still, he's a bit of a duffer, so we'll give her a pass.

I love my sax, I mentor Lisa, and my brother is a doctor. Who am I?

Oscar Murphy is known as "Bleeding Gums". He mentors Lisa even from the grave, and once made a lot of money that he blew on his tragic Faberge egg addiction.

I founded the town, I have a false tongue, and there's a statue of me in the square. Who am I?

The town believes in the myth of Springfield, who supposedly said "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man". Actually, he's a big fraud, which Lisa discovers and then hides.

I'm an Austrian movie star, I'm based on Arnie, and I once made a comedy called "My Baby is an Ugly Man". Who am I?

Rainier Wolfcastle is based on Arnold Schwarzenegger and is an Austrian movie star and action hero in the Simpsons. He sometimes makes foolish forays into comedy.

I'm a yokel, I live in a hovel, and I have one tooth. Who am I?

Cletus the yokel is... well, a yokel. He lives in the poorest part of Springfield and is a stereotypical hillbilly.

I'm a comic book character, Rainier Wolfcastle played me, and Bart loves me. Who am I?

Bart loves this character, who is played by Rainier Wolfcastle in an unsuccessful movie of the comic books. Clearly, it was before the Marvel Cinematic Universe cracked the formula.

I'm a daredevil, I'm inspired by Evel Knievel, and I have broken all my bones. Who am I?

Bart loves this daredevil who has a very impressive ability to heal. Most of his stunts go wrong, which may be why his bike is called the Suicycle.

I'm a country singer, Homer is my manager, and I try to steal him. Who am I?

Lurleen becomes a big star and then goes off the rails. She thinks Homer wants her in a different way than he does, due to his kindness, but he is faithful to Marge.

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