Design Your Dream Disney Castle and We'll Tell You What State You Should Move To

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Design Your Dream Disney Castle and We'll Tell You What State You Should Move To
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Who doesn't want to live in a castle? Well, obviously, if you're sensible, you don't. Castles are really hard work. They're leaky, they always have a draft, the electricity bill is astronomical, and the heating bill is simply galactic. The neighbors always resent you, the gardens require endless upkeep, and you can end up being forced to host the Queen and her extensive retinue for weeks at a time! 

You need an army of staff, which costs money and requires time to manage. On top of that, a lot of castles have deplorable plumbing situations, meaning they're inevitably as uncomfortable to live in as they are beautiful to look at. Yep, castles suck.

However, this quiz isn't about real life castles. This is about Disney castles. They're the ones that either magically maintain themselves, or are kept functional by a team of incredibly dedicated mice who don't require a salary. Some of them are made out of ice, but they're still perfectly comfortable to live in and not at risk from climate change. 

Truly, Disney castles are the place to be - and the one you dream about living in tells us where you might find your real-life castle or at least something like it. Let's find out!

How many bedrooms does it have?
50
20
100
14

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Who cleans it?
Singing mice, of course.
Magic.
Well paid staff.
I do.

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What's it made of?
Stone.
Ice.
Lots of things!
Wood.

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Who else lives there?
The court. (That is, my family and friends).
Just me.
Me and my lover.
My extended family.

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How comfortable is it?
Fairly.
Not at all.
That's not the point.
Very.

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Would you ever get planning permission?
Yes, I think so.
Never.
I'll bribe the local authorities.
Yes, definitely.

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What's the plumbing situation?
Modern.
Primitive.
Futuristic.
A little out of date.

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What secret room does it have?
Media room.
Dungeon, naturally.
Rec room with its own monorail.
Game room.

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What are the stairs like?
Big branching stone stairs.
Slim curling ice stairs.
A variety of staircases, like in the song from "Fiddler."
It's all one level.

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How does it stay cool?
Stone actually naturally stays cool.
It's literally made of ice.
AC.
Natural breezes and clever positioning of doors and windows.

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How would you keep it warm?
Under-floor heating.
I wouldn't.
Weather.
Fireplace.

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What shape are the windows?
Gothic.
Round.
A variety.
Big and square.

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What's the architectural style?
European high Gothic.
Fantastical.
A mish-mash.
All-American.

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If you really built it, roughly what would it cost?
More than $10m.
About $5m.
Over $50m.
About $2m.

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How defensible is it?
It would survive the apocalypse.
Fairly because I have magic!
It has a panic room.
Not at all.

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What's in the cellar?
Dragon.
Ice.
Pool.
There is no cellar.

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How will people get there?
Limo
Helicopter
Car
Bus

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What are the grounds like?
Vast formal gardens.
Mountainside.
Sweeping desert.
Woodland.

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How ostentatious is it?
It's too classy for that.
Pretty ostentatious.
It is the very definition of the word.
Not at all.

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How traditional is it?
Totally.
It looks it, but it's not.
It has some traditional features but it is mostly modern.
Fairly.

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What real castle does it look like?
Neuschwanstein
Burg Kreuzenstein
Belvoir Castle
Hochosterwitz Castle

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Is it suited to its surroundings?
In its way, yes.
It dominates them.
I don't think about it that way.
Yes, totally.

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Do you need a large staff to operate it?
Yes.
No, just me.
A middling size one, as castles go.
Just a couple of people.

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Will you make any of the decorations yourself?
No, I will collect them.
Yes, all of them.
One or two.
Mostly, yes.

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Is there skiing nearby?
I wish!
Oh, yes.
No, I don't mind though.
It's not far.

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Does it have a moat?
Yes!
No, but it has a cliff on one side.
No, but now you say that I'm gonna add one.
No, but there is a river on two sides.

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Is there a helipad?
Naturally.
There's a flat area.
There are four!
No.

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What's the parking situation like?
Underground parking for 20 cars.
Cars can't reach it.
Shaded parking for 100 cars.
Driveway parking for four cars.

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If you sold it, who would buy it?
Some WASP from Connecticut.
Elon Musk, probably.
Penn and Teller.
A charity.

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What sort of events will you host there?
Glamorous soirees.
No events.
Bacchanalian parties.
Dinners.

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You Got:

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