Play a Game of "Would You Rather" and We'll Guess If You're Male or Female

By: Zoe Samuel

Play a Game of "Would You Rather" and We'll Guess If You're Male or Female
Image: cako74/DigitalVision Vectors/Getty Images

About This Quiz

One of the strange quirks of human history is that our ideas about how men and women should be change with time. Stereotypes currently suggest that men are aloof, independent, emotionally stunted, good at systems and science, and physically strong. Meanwhile, women are nurturing, meek, submissive and not as ambitious, attaching love and sex inextricably.

Of course, this is a relic of the Victorian era, and it's not how we used to think about men and women. In Elizabethan times, it was considered perfectly normal for men to cry and weep; indeed, men were thought to have far more capacity for emotion than women, as we see in Shakespeare. Meanwhile women were seen as the horny ones; the original joke of the Greek play "Lysistrata," in which women withhold sex to get men to behave, was that abstaining was a worse imposition on women than on men (the irony being that whatever the culture believed, the solution was still to shut women away). These days, we see that men actually love being around their kids more, and women - given the option - suddenly turn out to be just as ambitious. The magic is that even when men and women want the same things, they can still want them in different ways. What we see as "natural" has changed, and so have our ideas about nurture.

We're all individuals, heavily influenced by their surroundings as well as by whatever our nature is. Everyone is a blend of both. This means our decisions come from not just what we want naturally, but also what we've learned to want, and what we think people expect us to want. Thus, tell us yours, and we'll figure out whether you're male or female - and perhaps what those labels mean to you!

Would you rather lose all the hair on your head and body, or keep the head hair but also have a truly ridiculous amount of body hair?
Go bald! I'll make it work.
Be hairy - I can wax.
Be hairy - I embrace the natural look.
Go bald, I'll wear a wig.

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Would you rather be liked or powerful?
Powerful, obviously.
I'd have said "liked" until recently, but now I say powerful.
Liked - I need people to like me too much.
Liked, obviously. It means I'm a good person.

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Would you rather get your heel or your shoelace stuck in one of those grates in the street, when a car is coming?
Shoelace - I can't deal with a heel.
Heel because I can slip it off
Heel because I'm so tall on it that they will see me.
Shoelace - I can cut it.

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Would you rather be punished lightly for something you didn't do, or more heavily for something you did do?
Lightly, of course.
Heavily - sounds like I'd deserve it.
Heavily - I can deal with it.
Lightly - why not?

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Would you rather yell at a person in the street and have everyone think you're a jerk, or be yelled at by a person in the street and be terrified?
Yell at a person, that sounds fun!
Be yelled at - I can handle it.
Be yelled at - I don't want to yell.
Yell at a person - they probably desrve it.

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Would you rather live an extra eight years, or get paid 23% more?
More money, please!
More years, please!
The years, because I can make more money in that time.
The money, because the years are no good without it.

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Would you rather have a really well-paid job that had a small but non-zero risk of death, or a terribly paid job that had virtually no risk of death?
Well-paid with a risk of death.
I want the well-paid one, but they won't let me have it.
Badly paid. My life has enough risk.
Badly paid - I can always swap later.

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Would you rather get a minor injury from something stupid that you did, or from something that someone else did to you?
I do it to myself all the time, I can handle it.
From someone else, so I can get sympathy.
Do it myself, that way I can fix it quickly.
Have them do it so I can sue.

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Would you rather have to lift something twice your weight, or climb something twice your height?
Twice my weight, because I can!
Twice my height, because no way I can do the other one!
Twice my weight, because I will use a fulcrum.
Twice my height because it sounds fun.

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Would you rather be in a knife fight or a gun fight?
Knife fight; I'll win.
Gun fight; I might win.
Knife fight, because one injury doesn't mean death.
Gun fight, because it's over fast.

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Would you rather be great at handling logistics, or great at managing people?
Logistics; more money.
People; more scope for promotion for me.
People; I just like them.
Logistics; I hate people.

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Would you rather be free to do anything, or free from any harm?
Free to do anything! Funsies!
Free to do anything because then I will protect myself from harm.
Free from harm because man, I deal with a lot of harm.
Free to do anything so I can punish the harmers.

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Would you rather be wealthy and lonely, or poor but surrounded by people you love?
Wealthy and lonely seems to be the only option life gave me.
Poor and loved seems to be the only option life gave me.
Poor and loved; I love people.
Wealth and lonely; I hate people.

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Would you rather work in an office that was absolutely freezing, or always way too hot?
Too cold. I can't take off the clothes I wear easily.
Too cold. I'm used to it.
Too hot. I'm always cold.
Too hot. I can strip down.

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Would you rather be judged as a person on the price of your car, or the tidiness of your home?
Society says car, so I'll go with it.
Society says home, so I'll do that.
Home; I can't hide my car but I can just not invite people over.
Car; I want to be a mess.

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Would you rather be forced to eat 10lbs of cheese every day for three months and thereafter eat however much or little cheese you like, or never be allowed to eat cheese again?
Eat the cheese! Yay cheese!
Forego all cheese. It's bad for me anyway.
Eat the cheese. It would not represent much change for me.
I'll give up the cheese, but I'll cry a lot about it.

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Would you rather go vegan, or only be allowed to eat meat and dairy products forever?
All meat! Hurrah!
All vegan. It'd suck but not kill me as fast.
I'm already vegan.
All meat, because veganism is the worst.

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Would you rather be put in charge of protecting the egg of a mystery creature that could hatch at any time, or a born baby animal that you can't identify?
Mystery animal; it's probably fine.
Mystery egg; how bad can it be?
Mystery egg, because I can run fatser than whatever hatches.
Mystery animal, because it will be my friend.

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Would you rather climb the tallest mountain in the fog, or successfully navigate the most beautiful and deepest cave?
Mountain in the fog; it's cooler.
Caves; what is the point of a mountain without the view?
Mountain; caves scare me.
Caves; I like caves anyway.

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Would you rather have ten million airmiles that you can only use to go to dangerous places, or the same value in loyalty points at your local supermarket that you can use for anything?
Airmiles for me! Travel, yay!
Loyalty points. If I save all that money on food, then I can buy tickets someplace safe.
Air miles. I live dangerously.
Supermarket points. I love shopping.

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Would you rather put too many exclamation points in your emails, or too few?
Too few. I don't want you thinking I'm fluffy.
Too many. I don't want you thinking I'm cold.
Too few, because I want to be taken seriously.
Too many!!! It's fun! Yay!

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Would you rather be talked over by everyone and have to fight constantly to be heard, or constantly make dumb mistakes because nobody ever tells you when you're wrong?
Make dumb mistakes. I can't handle that level of criticism.
Fight to be heard. At least then I know my mistakes will be caught.
Dumb mistakes for me. I've never made one for that reason, so it might be fun!
Fight to be heard. I'm used to it.

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Would you rather be mugged three times or burgled once?
Mugged three times. My home is my sanctuary.
Mugged three times. I carry pepper spray.
Burgled once. I can always move.
Burgled once. I don't own anything worth taking except my phone.

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Would you rather be brilliant at chess or mah jongg?
Chess; it's the best game because you get to kill things.
Mah jongg; it'll make me cool in China.
I'd rather be only OK at both and not have to sit through them.
Chess, because more people play it.

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Would you rather be able to knit any garment in a few hours, or fix any kitchen appliance in the same amount of time?
Fix appliances. It'd save money.
Knit things. I can hire someone for the other thing.
Fix appliances. I love fixing things.
Knit things. I love to be creative.

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Would you rather have a successful Etsy store, or a successful eBay store?
eBay store, because it's more lucrative.
Etsy store, because you can more easily connect to a real-life store.
eBay store, because it's more established.
Etsy store, because it's weirder.

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Would you rather have the perfect body but accidentally email nudes to everyone you know, or have a kinda bleh body that nobody but you, your true love and your doctor ever sees?
Perfect body; I want people to see it if I have that.
Perfect body; these days people will understand the nude thing.
Bleh body; I couldn't bear anyone seeing me.
Bleh body; I'd lose my job and friends if I sent nudes.

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Would you rather accidentally eat your coworker's lunch so many days in a row that they stop believing it really was an accident, or have them do the same thing to you?
Eat their lunch. At least then I get lunch!
Have them eat my lunch. I can use the guilt to get things out of them.
Eat their lunch. I want them to know who's boss.
Have them eat my lunch. I should diet anyway.

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Would you rather get a title bump at work that'll help you get the next job but is meaningless to your day-to-day life, or move to a desk with a nicer view?
Title bump; I love sounding important.
Better view; it'll help my mental health, thus performance.
Title bump; I want to move up.
Better desk. I'm not ambitious so why not have a nice view?

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Would you rather drive your car through your neighbor's ghastly garden gnome collection without her finding out, or do it while she's watching so she knows you mean business?
I will kill them dead right in front of her and reverse back over them. Screw the consequences!
I will kill them secretly. Otherwise she'll come after my azaleas.
I will do it secretly the first time, but if they make a comeback I'll have to do it publicly.
I will do it secretly or she will sue me!

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You Got:

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