1. perfumes and colognes
   revealing gym clothes
2. dirty sneakers

Wear whatever you want to work out, but leave the strongly-scented stuff at home.

1. cotton
   synthetic or polyester
2. denim

We're not going to tell you not to wear jean shorts, but synthetic and polyester clothing has been proven to actually smell worse when exposed to sweat.

1. glowering
   wearing headphones
2. closing your eyes in fake concentration every time someone comes over to you

Put them earbuds in if you want to be left alone.

1. bicep curls and squats
   squats and just kinda watching yourself in the mirror
2. Squats. Period.

While the fun squat contraption might look like a good deal for biceps or something else, let the squatters squat.

1. apply bronzer
   check your form
2. flex your rippling muscles

Best to use the mirror for simply perfecting your form, but you wouldn't be the first if you stood in front of the mirror flexing.

1. ignore them
   stop lifting
2. Do a reasonable amount of reps, and then let someone else step in.

Feel free to come back to complete your sets, but it's nice to give others a crack.

1. no
   perhaps
2. yes

Nobody needs to ask a stranger about their fitness records. But if you're talking shop with another gym rat, it might be appropriate.

1. Sure; everyone is there to focus on their body anyway.
   As long as you're being complimentary, it's fine.
2. No. Nope, no, never.

Never. Ever.

1. Oh, in that case — sure!
   Totally fine, you're not a creep!
2. No.

Really. Never.

1. before your workout
   after your workout
2. both

Really, it's only the after that matters — but if you want to make double-sure you don't get the strep that's going around, wipe it down before, too.

1. silent
   as quiet as possible
2. Hey, it's a gym — make a racket.

No one is going to fault you for a little grunting, but maybe avoid singing out loud. Please.

1. the one farthest away from the occupied equipment
   one that isn't directly next to the occupied machine
2. the one right next to the occupied one

You don't have to run to the other end of the gym, but a little buffer is courteous.

1. calling dibs
   licking it
2. You cannot save a machine.

Sorry, but you can't "claim" a machine. First come, first served.

1. drop the weights dramatically
   set the weights gently down and glare
2. try to be careful about dropping the big weights, but it depends on the gym

Seriously, you will look ridiculous when you break your own foot.

1. decline and do everything solo
   be easygoing, and buddy up with whomever is nearby
2. ignore an assigned partner and ask the instructor to personally show you the moves

This isn't high school; don't reject someone unless they truly make you uncomfortable.

1. totally fine
   kind of creepy, and not welcome
2. almost as good as being in the class itself

In general, avoid staring slack-jawed at strangers doing Zumba.

1. no problem
   inappropriate -- do it at a sink
2. for weaklings

If your bottle is huge and takes a ton of time to fill, do let someone in for a drink though.

1. horrifying
   fine
2. encouraged

Again, there's a theme: Wear whatever you want, within most reason.

1. machines
   benches or weights you touch
2. both

Remember to give seats and handles a bit of a shine.

1. grab all the weights you need
   still grab one weight at a time
2. don't

Grab the weights when you need them, or at least try to find a time when there's enough weights to go around.

1. keep on opposite sides
   stay behind the other person
2. try to stay in front of the other person

And let the faster swimmer go ahead, if there's a jam.

1. push pause and answer it
   ignore it and hope your house isn't on fire
2. step off into a hallway or quiet corner to answer

Nobody wants to prevent you from responding to an emergency, but the middle of the cardio room is not the place for dramatic news.

1. yell encouragement the entire time
   goad them into doing more reps
2. You're just making sure they're safe.

Unless it's your sibling, you're really not allowed to yell or harass anyone at the gym.

1. is part of the fun, grown-up atmosphere
   is inappropriate
2. is punishable by revoked membership

No one is going to be appalled if a salty word is said after a grueling lift, but try to keep it clean.

1. exactly what he's doing wrong
   nothing, unless he asks
2. he's doing great and could win a medal

Unless you're a trainer at the gym getting paid to advise folks, leave your thoughts to yourself.

1. give them encouragement and commend them for doing something for their health
   do and say absolutely nothing
2. watch to make sure they don't hurt themselves

Healthy bodies come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Do not presume anyone is healthy or unhealthy, or guess anyone's motivation for exercise.

1. with shorts on
   naked
2. showering at the gym is only for exhibitionists

Don't be afraid of being naked. A lot of us are, underneath our clothes.

1. soap
   shampoo
2. grooming beyond soap and shampoo

The group shower is not the place to shave or clip toenails.

1. Yes, it's better to get a half hour of exercise than none.
   No, it's disruptive to the other participants.
2. It depends.

This depends a lot on the teacher and the type of class. Some teachers will welcome all comers. Others can be snarky to the late arrivals. Find out your teacher's style in advance. But generally, the more equipment (mat, bar, ball, weights, etc) you have to get out at the class the less you'll want to be late as it's disruptive.

1. ask if they need some help
   ignore at all costs
2. loudly talk about how this gym is getting weak

Be nice!