How Australian Are You?

By: Ian Fortey

How Australian Are You?
Image: swissmediavision/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Australia is one of the safest countries in the world with a great economy, friendly people, incredible cuisine and some of the most beautiful landscapes imaginable.  That said, it's also known as a death trap that's jammed wall to wall with some of the deadliest creatures on Earth ranging from spiders to snakes to even a few species of plants that cause intense pain if you touch them.  And that's not to mention all the invasive species that overrun areas in biblical plague swarms.  Plus there's a history of terrible heat waves, brutal and damaging fires, and rampant, uncontrollable flooding.  It's a bit of a circus.  

Like any place on Earth though, there's more to it than meets the eye.  Most Australians get by just fine without fear of deadly spiders and sharks. They have a rich and fun culture, an amusing set of slang you won't find any place else on Earth and a laid-back spirit that just seems like you want to be a part of it.  And hey, maybe you already are. Whether you're fully Australian, a transplant or just someone with aspirations to meet a kangaroo one day, why not take our quiz and find out just how Australian you really are?

It's time for a beach trip! What are you most concerned about?
Irukandji
Making sure I pack everything
This sweltering heat wave
Sharks?

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How worried are you about venomous snakes?
Bah, they're not in town so who cares?
Should I be worried about them?
Very! There are a ton in Australia.
I'm always on the lookout.

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Do onions go under the sausage or on the sausage?
Do you work for Bunnings? Get the heck out of here.
Wut?
If you're having a sausage sizzle, put the onions on top!
I don't really like onions.

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Who was the best original member of Hi-5?
Kelli Crawford!
I have no idea what that is.
The lady from the news!
I didn't care much for Hi-5.

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How much do you like taking the train?
Public transportation is terrible!
Oh, trains are fun!
I'd rather drive.
It's fine, I guess.

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Has anyone ever called you a bogan?
Maybe you're the bogan, ya drongo.
Is that like a goblin?
Once or twice
Me? I'm no bogan.

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If you order something online, are you having it shipped it expedited?
Are you insane? I can't afford that.
Sure, if I want it fast.
Only if it's incredibly important
Maybe. What does it cost?

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How safe is it to go on social media after a new movie you want to see premiers?
You can't! There'll be so many spoilers!
It's a good way to share your opinion, so why not?
Don't movies come out weeks later in Australia?
Why wouldn't it be safe?

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If you're going for a swim, are you bringing the budgie smugglers?
I'm not my dad.
I don't like birds.
Regular shorts for me.
Is that legal? What?

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Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...
Oi! Oi! Oi!
Aussie?
Who's playing?
Are you OK?

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Can you sing "Waltzing Matilda?"
What am I, hard of singing? Of course!
I don't know that one.
I'm a swagman!
Um. No.

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If someone made a pretty average dinner, would you eat it again?
Of course not!
I guess so. Why not?
Sounds like they could have put in more effort.
Well, what was it?

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How do you plan on retiring one day?
Driving a caravan from coast to coast!
Florida?
A condo in Canberra
I dunno ... retirement home?

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When's the last time your favorite band came to town?
Hasn't happened yet. Maybe one day.
Happens all the time.
A band I liked hit up a city nearby two years ago.
Ooh, just last year!

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Have you ever told a friend "She'll be right?"
You gotta be there to support a friend, sure.
Who?
Well yeah, if things are going to be OK.
I guess if she really was right.

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What happens when you're in the middle of Woop Woop?
Better have a book to read or something.
Is that a euphemism?
You need to head back home.
I don't know. Sounds fun, though.

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How do you like your Lamingtons?
Cream filling is good, but so is jam. I'll take one of each.
Is that a disease?
Chocolate and coconut, the way it should be.
I don't know that I do.

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Do you talk Strine?
Fair dinkum
Is that a complete sentence?
I mean, yeah.
I want to say no.

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Do you take your burger with "the lot?"
You better believe it.
The lot of what?
I don't really care for beetroot, to be honest.
No pineapple for me, please.

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Do you happen to know what our home is girt by?
The sea!
Do you mean gird?
Is this a national anthem joke?
What home?

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Do you know what both kinds of stubbies are?
I'll drink one wearing the other!
No. No, I don't.
I have a pair.
I know one!

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Did a family member ever make a Pavlova for the holidays?
Every year!
Is that the salivating dog?
Grandma did.
I've never had one, but I'd like to.

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What's your favorite Acca Dacca tune?
"You Shook Me All Night Long"
Is that a band?
I like "Dirty Deeds."
I'm not familiar.

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Want a pint of Fosters?
Noooooo!!
I mean, sure. Why not?
There are better beers.
It's Australian for beer!

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Could you handle a goon bag?
And I'll sleep on it when I pass out!
Is that something for Halloween?
I'd prefer a bottle.
Should I?

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What's your opinion on cane toads?
I'm kind of sick of hunting them.
Are those the ones you lick?
Nuisance!
They're cute, I guess.

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How often do you or friends eat meat pies?
Daily, I'd assume.
I don't much care for meat pies.
They're pretty great.
Is that a thing people do a lot?

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How do you plan to celebrate the next Australia Day?
Passed out on a beach
Is that like Independence Day?
Fireworks and a BBQ
A party?

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Do you think it's ironic that they named a swimming pool after Harold Holt?
Morbidly hilarious more than anything.
Who's that?
Yes, I do.
Did he not like to swim?

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What do you do during magpie season?
You gotta take cover, man!
Isn't that a bird?
Go bird watching?
They have a season?

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