How Much of a Sloth Are You?

By: Steven Miller
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
How Much of a Sloth Are You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Being a sloth is so much more than sleeping a lot and moving slower than a snail. It has a lot to do with those things, but there are other factors to consider. For example, do you eat a diet that is so devoid of nutrition that it provides almost no usable energy? Are you so uncoordinated that you should really come with a warning label for everyone's safety? How appealing does lounging on a raft out in the pool sound to you?

These questions get at the heart of whether or not you are truly sloth material. It's not easy to qualify for such distinction. Normally, it takes years of practice to master the art of binge-watching shows and limiting your physical activity to the absolute minimum. Most people feel the need to move around and take in some form of physical exercise once in a while, but perhaps you aren't like most people.

If you are the last person to get a joke, your day starts sometime after noon, and you consider watching paint dry to be an exciting activity, there's a good chance that you might just have what it takes to be considered "Totally a Sloth." Let's get headed over to the quiz.

Whenever you're ready.

Any time now.

Hello?

What time do you get up in the morning?
Sometime after noon.
Around 10 a.m. or so.
I'm up by 8 a.m.
I'm up at dawn.

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The speed limit is 55, how fast are you driving?
If there's no cops around, I'm going 65 or higher.
I'm probably going 5 mph over the speed limit.
I'm driving the speed limit.
I'll likely be going a little under 55.

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Generally speaking, are you early, on-time or late?
I'm regularly running a little behind.
I almost always arrive on-time.
I'm usually incredibly late.
I'm habitually early to everything.

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Do people cross their arms and tap a foot while you're telling a story?
I get that all the time.
I've had that happen before.
I'm usually the one crossing my arms and tapping my foot.
It's not unusual for that to happen to me.

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Which pace best fits your usual walking speed?
Brisk walk.
Stroll.
Nearly a jog.
Crawl.

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Which activity sounds the most appealing to you?
Climbing a mountain.
Taking a nap.
An intense hike.
Watching a documentary on hiking.

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When was the last time you binge-watched a show and didn't leave the couch for an entire weekend?
I'm doing that right now.
I did that within the last month, and I'm looking forward to doing it again soon.
It's been a while.
I don't think I've ever done that.

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Which sport do you like to watch the most?
Football.
Baseball.
Golf.
Curling.

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Which generation are you in?
Generation X.
Baby Boomers.
Millennials.
Generation Z.

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Do you prefer to be in the big city or way out in the boonies?
I'd much rather be out in the middle of nowhere.
A small town in the country sounds ideal.
I need to be in the middle of it all in the big city.
I would like something in the middle. The suburbs would be great.

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How many hours do you usually sleep at night?
I get about seven hours.
I almost always get eight.
I get six or less.
I average around 9 or 10 hours.

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Do you need to take a nap during the day?
It's almost unheard of for me to take a nap.
Yes, always.
It's pretty rare, but I do need it once in a while.
I'm more happy and productive if I do.

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Have you ever worked nights?
I actually prefer to work at night. It's so peaceful.
I've done it before and it was alright.
I did it once, but it was really painful.
I could never work nights.

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Do you enjoy cuddling?
To be honest, I can't stand it.
I can handle cuddling for a few minutes and them I'm done.
Yes, but only for a few hours.
That's one of my favorite activities. I can't get enough.

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Which kind of music do you like the most?
Jazz.
R&B.
New Age.
Rock.

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How are you most likely to handle a stressful situation?
Walk away, very slowly.
Gut it out.
Take the situation head-on and deal with it the best I can.
Curl up in a ball.

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How coordinated are you?
I have my uncoordinated moments, but I'm generally pretty agile.
I think people are on high-alert when I'm around. I'm kind of a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm a multi-sport athlete.
I fall or break something on a daily basis.

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Honestly, how gross are your "comfy clothes?"
My comfy clothes are brand new.
They are so comfortable, but they are definitely incredibly ugly.
It's not that gross, but that outfit does get more and more comfy every day.
Let's just say that it's a safe bet that no one else wants to wear that outfit.

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What are your thoughts regarding eating in bed?
That's my favorite place to eat.
I tend to find a lot of crumbs in bed.
It's pretty rare for me to eat in bed.
I have never and will never eat it bed. How gross!

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You're on vacation, what are you going to do?
I want to take in as many experiences as I can while I'm here.
I want to see some stuff, but I also want to relax by the pool and sleep in late.
I might leave the hotel room a couple times.
Sleep, eat, lounge, repeat.

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How much fast food do you eat?
I usually have one fast food meal a day.
I eat fast food once in a while.
That's basically all I eat.
I hardly ever eat fast food.

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Someone tells a great joke in a large group, when are you most likely to get it?
I'm frequently the last one who gets it.
I start laughing before I actually get the joke.
I'm pretty much always the first one to laugh.
It's delayed, for sure.

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How late do you stay up on the weekends?
I'm usually asleep by midnight.
I stay up until 1 or 2 a.m.
I'm in bed by 10 p.m.
I'm up past 2 a.m. on a regular basis.

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When was the last time you climbed a tree?
I haven't climbed a tree since I was a child.
Today.
It's been a while.
I climbed a tree in the last year.

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How dangerous is it to wake you up before you're ready to get up?
Seriously, you're risking life and limb.
You would likely regret attempting to do so.
I might be a little grumpy, but I wouldn't call it dangerous.
It wouldn't bother me that much.

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What temperature do you prefer to set the thermostat at?
65 degrees or lower.
68 degrees.
70 degrees.
72 degrees or higher.

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If you sense danger, are you more likely to fight, flee, or freeze?
Freeze.
Flee.
It will be a combination of flee and freeze. Basically, I'll be getting out of there very slowly.
Fight.

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Have you ever read a book in a single sitting?
I wasn't sitting, I was laying down, and yes, I do that all the time.
I don't read books.
No, I can't sit still that long.
Maybe not a single sitting, but I've read a whole book without doing much else besides that.

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Where do you watch most of your entertainment?
At work.
In my comfy chair.
I catch up on entertainment in between appointments.
In bed.

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Do you enjoy being in water?
I'm not a big fan of being in water.
I absolutely love it, especially floating on a raft of some kind with a beverage in hand.
It's alright once in a while.
I'm a great swimmer.

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You Got: