How Much Do You Know About the Wars of the Bible?

By: John Miller
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
How Much Do You Know About the Wars of the Bible?
Image: YouTube

About This Quiz

The Bible is not exactly a bloodless book. It's full of disease, famine, plague and war. From Moses to Goliath, how much do you know about famous Bible battles?
At the Battle of Jericho, the Israelites attacked the _____.
Canaanites
The wayward Israelites set off to conquer Canaan. When they arrived at Jericho, they realized that the Canaanites had a large fortress that seemed impregnable.
Canadians
Iranians

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Who was in charge of Israelite forces at the Battle of Jericho?
Cain
Adam
Joshua
Joshua was an assistant to Moses and set off to capture Jericho. But when his men arrived near the city they were stumped on how to attack the formidable walls.

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How did Joshua and his men eventually destroy the city of Jericho?
They set the city on fire.
They played loud music.
Joshua ordered his men to play their trumpets loudly while marching around the walls of the city. The immense sound was so loud that the walls came tumbling down.
They used nuclear weapons.

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What did Joshua do to the people of Jericho once the city walls fell?
He made peace with them.
He killed almost everyone.
Seeing as how this is the brutal Old Testament, Joshua showed no mercy to Jericho's inhabitants. He killed everyone, save for a prostitute who assisted the city's destruction.
He ate them for lunch.

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In the Battle of Aphek, the Israelites were fighting which group of people?
Kuwaitis
Philistines
The Israelis had a history of bad blood with the Philistines, so at Aphek, both sides decided to throw down. There may have been roughly 30,000 troops on both sides, ensuring some ample bloodletting.
Flying Spaghetti Monsters

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What object did the Philistines hope to win at the Battle of Aphek?
many barrels of olives
The Ark of Covenant
In a plot that would make Indiana Jones green with envy, the Philistines wanted to take the Ark of Covenant from the Israelis. The battle would turn out to be an epic confrontation.
the first Aphex Twin record

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The Israelis were confident that they'd win the Battle of Aphek. Why?
They had God on their side.
The Israelis set off with the Ark of Covenant, certain that they could beat back any enemies. Why? They had God on their side. Or so they thought.
They had new AK-47s.
They'd implemented a new strength training program.

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What was the outcome of the Battle of Aphek?
The Philistines won.
The Philistines slaughtered almost all of the Israelis and took the Ark of Covenant for themselves. It would be many long centuries before Dr. Jones caught up to long-lost Ark with the Nazis hot on his tail.
The Nazis captured the Ark.
Everyone dies.

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At the Battle of Socoh, a young man named David attacks and kills _____.
Jude
Goliath
Armed only with a sling, David flings a stone at a massive soldier named Goliath … and he falls down dead. It was the beginning of David's legend, one that would survive for centuries.
the Good Samaritan

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At the Battle of Socoh, David refused to wear armor into combat. Why?
His armor was at the dry cleaner.
He wanted black armor and they were all out.
He knew armor was heavy and tiring.
David's rationale was that armor simply caused exhaustion -- better to be quick and nimble against larger but slower opponents.

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In his duel with Goliath, why did David choose a sling and stone instead of a spear or other large weapon?
Slings are actually quite deadly.
A sling and stone don't sound very dangerous by modern standards, but in biblical times they were indeed quite threatening. In the right hands, slings could zip sizable rocks at enemies with fatal force.
He had brass knuckles, too.
He forgot his 9mm under the seat of his car.

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Moses led his people from slavery at the hands of the Egyptians. How did the Egyptian Pharaoh respond to this march?
He told them to stay in Egypt for a wild party.
He let them go.
He decided to pursue Moses.
After ten plagues, the Pharaoh agreed to let Moses and the Israelis leave Egypt. But as they were heading down the path, the Pharaoh changed his mind and decided to pursue them.

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Moses and his people ran from their Egyptian slave masters but were stopped by which obstacle?
the Red Sea
The Israelites were pinned by the Egyptians on one side and the Red Sea on the other. They were surely doomed.
the Great Wall of China
the Missouri River

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How did Moses and the Israelites escape the Egyptians?
God parted the Red Sea.
God parted the Red Sea, leaving dry land and a path for the Israelites to escape. The Egyptians unwisely pursued … and God collapsed the waters of the sea, killing them all.
helicopter evacuation
They used a transporter.

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The Battle of Siddim is also sometimes called ______.
Game of Thrones
the War of the Nine Kings
In the early 2nd millennium BC, the Battle of Sidim became a legend for the ages. It's also sometimes called the War of the Nine Kings.
Desert Rumble 12

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In the Battle of Siddim, the Northern forces pushed Southern forces backward into a valley. What was in the valley?
suburban sprawl
tar pits
There would be no quarter for the Southern forces on this fine day. They were driven back into a valley strewn with tar pits -- and many unfortunate soldiers met their ends in the sticky mess.
giant dragons

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Following the Battle of Siddim, what happened to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah?
They were given reprieve.
They were sacked.
To the victors go the spoils. Once the Northern forces won out, they entered the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and took their riches.
Nothing happened.

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At the Battle of Mount Zemaraim, the Israelis battled people from _____.
the Kingdom of Edom
the Kingdom of Judah
The Battle of Mount Zemaraim found the Israelis fighting the Kingdom of Judah. As the story goes, more than 1 million men fought in this epic clash.
Narnia

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After the Battle of Mount Zemaraim, how many Israelis were dead?
500
2
500,000
The Battle of Mount Zemaraim was reportedly a horrific and bloody ordeal. Supposedly, half a million Israeli troops were slaughtered in combat.

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What did the king of Judah attempt to do after winning the Battle of Mount Zemaraim?
He executed Moses by lethal injection.
He tried to unify the two kingdoms.
Following the Battle of Mount Zemaraim, the king of Judah set out to unify Judah and Israel. But he failed … and the two sides would ultimately fight time and again in subsequent decades.
He set fire to all of Israel.

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At the Battle of Gibeon, Joshua and the Israelites crossed into the Promised Land and found the Canaanites already occupying the place. What did the Canaanites do in response to the Israelis?
They offered them free goats.
They prepared to kill them all.
The Canaanites had no intention of stepping aside for the Israeli wanderers. They grabbed weapons and prepared for war.
They surrendered.

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What tactic did Joshua deploy in fighting the Canaanites at the Battle of Gibeon?
a pincer attack with close air support
full frontal assault
a surprise attack
Joshua led his men through the night and they surprised the Canaanites while they were sleeping. The battle was a rout.

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During the Battle of Gibeon, Joshua's troops chased and killed all enemy troops. What happened to the few survivors?
God rained hail down on them.
As if watching their comrades get slaughtered wasn't enough, the few remaining Canaanite troops rain straight into a hailstorm sent by God. Talk about a rough Monday!
They jumped onto Noah's Ark.
Satan's angels ate them.

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In the Battle of Refidim, the Jews were attempting to reach which area?
New York City
the surface of the Moon
the Promised Land
As the Battle of Refidim took hold, the Jews were on their way to the Promised Land. What happened next is chronicled in the Book of Exodus.

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Who was in charge of the Jewish forces at the Battle of Refidim?
Lucifer
Moses
Moses commanded the Jewish army. As the legend goes, when Moses raised his arms toward the sky, the Jewish forces surged forward. When his tired arms failed, the enemy had the upper hand.
Jesus

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Which side won the Battle of Refidim?
Amalekites
Jews
The long-suffering Jews finally came out ahead in combat. They won the battle … and the Amalekites would essentially vanish from history.
Yankees

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At the Battle of Michmash, the Israelites fought which force?
Philistines
At the Battle of Michmash, Israelites once again found themselves fighting the Philistines. Thousands of men clashed in this biblical beatdown.
Ewoks
Gentiles

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Who was the leader of the Israelites at the Battle of Michmash?
Jeriah
Jonathan
Jonathan, the son of King Saul, commanded the forces of Israel in the Battle of Michmash. They fought with swords, javelins and chariots.
Fresh Prince

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Which side was victorious at the Battle of Michmash?
Israelites
The sneaky Jonathan and his men killed the Philistines before they could react. This day belonged to the Israelites.
Philistines
indecisive

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During the Battle of Michmash, which natural disaster struck, causing confusion in the ranks of the Philistines?
forest fire
earthquake
As the Israelites attacked, a powerful earthquake struck, causing bewilderment among the Philistines. The few survivors hastily fled from King Saul's army.
tornado

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