How Supportive Is Your Relationship?

By: Emily Maggrett

How Supportive Is Your Relationship?
Image: Flashpop/ DigitalVision/ Getty Images

About This Quiz

No one ever said that relationships are easy. We're sure that even John Legend and Chrissy Teigen have their "off" days. Let's face it — when you've been with someone for a long time, they occasionally get on your nerves. Sometimes you might not feel like listening to a long story about your partner's job or doing your share of the dishes. But most of us do those things anyway because we care about making our partners happy.

There's a big difference between a relationship that's marked by everyday annoyances and a relationship that needs work. If you feel frustrated at times by your partner, that's totally normal. However, if you feel like your partner doesn't really take the time to listen to you or respect your boundaries, your relationship may be unsupportive. 

Of course, many relationships fall between these two extremes. How do you know if your relationship is mostly supportive, slightly unsupportive or in need of repairs? That's where this quiz comes in. We're going to ask you questions about how you and your partner typically relate to each other. If you answer us honestly, we'll be able to tell you how your relationship ranks on the supportive to unsupportive spectrum. Ready to learn more? Let's get quizzing!

1. how How do you usually feel when you're around your partner?
Happy and relaxed
Depends on what we're doing
Neutral
Mildly irritated

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2 tell When you tell your partner a story, do they really listen?
Yes. Not only do they ask me questions about the story while I'm telling it, but they also remember details from the story later.
Yes, most of the time. But if my partner is stressed out about something else, they sometimes don't listen very carefully to me.
My partner says "Yeah" and "Uh-huh" when I talk but doesn't seem genuinely interested in what I'm saying.
No. My partner says that most of my stories are boring.

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3 chores How do you and your partner split up household chores?
Since we both work, we split chores 50/50.
The partner who doesn't work does the majority of the chores.
I do a lot more chores than my partner does.
To get my partner to do anything around the house, I have to nag and nag and nag.

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4 happy Let's say you just got some good news. Who's the first person you're going to call?
My partner!
My mom. But then I'll call my partner!
My best friend
I don't know. I don't have a lot of close friends.

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5 upset When you make plans with friends that don't include your partner, do they get upset?
No. They know we shouldn't spend all our free time together.
They're only annoyed if I don't tell them about the plans beforehand.
They grumble, but I don't think they actually mind that much.
Yes. They say it means that I'm not focused enough on our relationship.

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6 talk Can you tell your partner anything?
Of course. Sometimes I even tell them things that are kind of embarrassing.
I probably could, but I like to keep some stuff private.
I think so? I'm not sure.
No. My partner might not respect me if they knew everything about me.

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7 sneak Has your partner ever snooped on your phone or computer?
No, never!
I don't think so.
They did once, but they apologized after I told them how much it bothered me.
Yes, unfortunately

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8 friend In your opinion, does your partner genuinely like you as a friend?
Yes. We are best friends.
I think so. We have a good time hanging out.
I'm not sure we'd be friends if we weren't together.
Our connection is mostly physical.

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9 feeling How often do you ask your partner questions about their feelings?
Daily
Whenever they seem down
Whenever something really big happens
Very rarely

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10 kid Do you and your partner share a similar vision for the future, i.e., marriage and kids?
We've talked about those issues and are on the same page.
Our goals for the future are roughly the same, although we need to discuss what our time frame is.
We've never talked about that.
We don't see eye to eye on this stuff, but I'm hoping they'll change their mind.

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11 work What do you do when your partner wants to vent to you about their job?
I say, "Tell me all about it!"
I make myself a cup of tea and settle down to listen.
I put on a "patient" facial expression and prepare to suffer through it.
I say, "Ah geez, right now?"

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12 friends Do you try to like your partner's friends?
Yes. It's not hard, because my partner has great taste in people.
I like some of my partner's friends (but not others).
I make an effort with them, even though they're not my kind of people.
No. They're all sort of horrible.

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13 gift How often do you do nice things for your partner, such as surprising them with gifts?
I try to do little things for my partner all the time.
I surprise them with gifts for all the major holidays.
If it's their birthday, I try to treat them to something special.
Surprise gifts? Who am I, Santa Claus?

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14 argue Has your partner ever mocked your political opinions?
No. We mostly agree about politics.
Every once in a while we debate each other, but it's never meanspirited.
They used to, but they stopped doing so at my request.
Yes. They think my ideas are really bad.

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15 sick When you're sick, how does your partner act?
They feed me chicken soup, bring me tissues and pamper me!
They try to take care of me, even though they're not good at it.
They give me cold medicine and the remote.
They ignore me until I'm better again.

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16 family If your partner wanted you to spend more time with their family, what would you do?
I'd agree that we could spend more time with them ... within reason.
Ask them why they wanted me to do that
Reluctantly agree
Tell them "No way!"

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17 hobbies Do you and your partner share any hobbies or interests?
Yes. We actually met through a shared interest in music, books, sports, etc.
We have at least two shared hobbies.
We don't have many interests in common, but we are both willing to learn more about each other's passions.
No. In a lot of ways, we're opposites.

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18 public When you have a performance or public appearance, does your partner attend?
Every time
Most of the time, unless they have a work conflict
They don't, unless I happen to be performing at an event that interests them for other reasons.
Not usually

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19 cheat Do you think your partner would ever cheat on you?
No way!
I'm fairly confident that they would not.
I'm not sure.
Maybe!

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20 discuss When making plans with family or friends, who keeps track of potential conflicts, like "John works on Fridays" or "We can't get pizza with Anne because she doesn't eat dairy"?
We try to take turns at this.
I do a little bit more of this than my partner does, but it's fine because they contribute in other ways.
My partner does more of this work than I do, which makes me feel guilty.
I always have to do this; my partner doesn't remember stuff like that.

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21 mock Has your partner ever mocked your appearance?
No. Why would someone do that to their partner?
They tease me, but in a very sweet, affectionate way.
Not usually. They know I don't like that kind of thing.
Yes. They say they're "just kidding," but it really hurts my feelings.

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22 bad day When you're having a bad day, does your partner treat you differently?
Yes. They bring me my favorite food and beverages, ask if I want to talk and give me a massage.
Yes. They make an effort to be extra considerate.
Somewhat. They might give me a hug, for instance.
No.

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23 promise If your partner makes you a promise, do you believe they'll keep it?
Yes. They always follow through on what they say they are going to do.
Yes. Unless something major is going on, my partner keeps their word.
Probably. My partner means well, but that doesn't always translate to them following through on promises.
I never know if they will or not, to be honest.

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24 angry When your partner is angry at you, how do they act?
They ask me to sit down and talk about our conflict.
They passive-aggressively stomp around the house before letting me know what's up.
They say things that are harsh and critical.
They sulk for hours.

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25 new things Does your partner encourage you to try new things?
All the time
Yes, if my partner thinks those things are cool.
Sometimes my partner acts skeptical if I mention wanting to try something new.
My partner doesn't understand why I'd want to try new things. Sometimes they even act suspicious of it.

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26 flirt If you flirted with someone else at a party, what would your partner do?
Laugh it off
Ask me about it, but not in an intense way
Make a few pointed comments later
Act very jealous

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27 brag Does your partner brag about you to others?
Yes. They're always talking me up to friends and family.
Sometimes, especially if we're at one of my work events
No, although I think they'd do it more if I asked them to
No. There's not that much to brag about, I guess?

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28 movie When you're deciding which movie to watch, what's your decision-making process?
We decide together.
We argue about it, but in a lighthearted way.
I choose what we watch, at least most of the time.
My partner always chooses what we'll watch.

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29 calendar Do you and your partner have a shared calendar?
Yes. It helps us coordinate our schedules.
No, but that's a good idea!
No. We prefer to have very separate schedules.
No. I never know when my partner will be coming or going.

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30 loveyou How often does your partner tell you that they love you?
Every day!
At least once a week
On my birthday and at Christmas
Almost never

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