1. Wobbler
   Winger
2. Tosser
   Doof

Tosser technically means someone who does a thing on their own that we can't really talk about here. In practice it just means someone who is an annoying idiot.

1. Oogly boogly
   Lovely jubbly
2. Iggly wiggly
   Snuggly wuggly

"Lovely jubbly" is what you say when something is nice in a very specific way. For example, when you settle into a hot bath, sip a nice hot drink after a hard day's manual labor in the rain, or open a letter you thought was a bill to discover your great aunt Mildred left you ten thousand pounds. It means not just physically pleasant, but also actually satisfying and emotionally warming.

1. Sausage
   Adamses
2. Austens
   Darwins

Sausage and mash means cash! Hence, cash is just sausage. This is how Cockney rhyming slang works. It's a very fun system that visitors to London should learn so they are not bewildered.

1. Fishie
   Fisher
2. Chippy
   Chiptastic

The chippy is where you go to get chips, which are actually fries. Correct usage would be, "I'm just going down the chippy, love, gonna get me some mushy peas and all, all right?"

1. The Sausage
   The Gherkin
2. The Cheese
   The Thingy

The Gherkin was the first really big skyscraper in the London skyline and as such, got a lot of attention. The bank, Swiss Re, who'd paid to name it were crushed when it was nicknamed for the (other) thing that it looks like. Then they learned that this means people loved it and it was welcome, so they got over it. It really does look like a gherkin!

1. Brah!
   Yeah?
2. Right?
   Innit

Cockney often mashes words together, so "isn't it" becomes "innit". It's not just a stand-in for the original words, though, as you can use it any time you need an affirmative or emphasis. So you can say, "It's hot today, innit?" but also, "I was disappointed when my team lost, innit."

1. Tekkers
   Wigglin'.
2. Tech
   Tekked up

If you've got tekkers then you have mad skills! Bare tekkers are even more impressive. This means good footwork or all kinds of cool tricks, as a hunt for #Tekkers will show you.

1. Goober
   Grand
2. Nosh
   Buff

Something is "grand" not just if it's very fancy looking but also if it's very good. As in, "That's a grand dog, that Rover. I wish I had a dog like that."

1. Pipe
   Tube
2. Straw
   Warren

The Tube is the colloquial name for the subway in London, which is one of the world's biggest transit systems. 50 weeks of the year it's very good. 2 weeks of the year, it's hotter than heck! This is because there is no air conditioning due to London's normal August high being a cool 74F. It's not worth spending billions on AC for two weeks, say authorities. Some people disagree!

1. Basic
   Buff
2. Extra
   Messy

This word is also in the US in some areas. Someone who is extra is being too loud and not very reasonable about things.

1. Bucker
   Buck House
2. Big Buckley
   Bucking-home

Buckingham Palace was actually built for a duke but it has been a royal residence since Queen Victoria. It dominates the Mall in Central London and is affectionately called Buck House.

1. Creasing
   Gutted
2. Bladdered
   Legless

This comes from what happens to your face when you laugh really hard, which is rather charming. If you're creasing, you're really, really laughing.

1. Oof nah/
   No m'go.
2. Nah fam.
   Not my bag!

This comes from the East End and is mostly Cockney. Your "fam" is your closest friends, so "nah fam" means "no, my friends".

1. The Bulge
   The Bloop
2. The Walkie-Talkie
   The Squidge

The Walkie-Talkie is quite popular because its shape is such a charming throwback. Generally speaking, in London tradition, the people and not the designers name the buildings. A good affectionate name is a sign the building will be popular.

1. CitiBikes
   Boris Bikes
2. Baby Bikes
   Bike-Ahoy

Boris Johnson was mayor when the scheme began. He didn't strike anyone as the sort of person who exercises much but the bikes were nicknamed for him anyway. He is now in the Cabinet.

1. Red Ken
   Commie Ken
2. Soshie Ken
   Keninsky

Ken Livingstone was very left wing and was called "Red Ken", which is also the color of his Labour Party (British parties typically have one color each). He is now out of office and has been suspended from the party after a series of astonishingly racist comments. He was followed by Boris Johnson, a Tory (ie conservative). The current mayor, Sadiq Khan, is also Labour and is pretty popular.

1. The Round
   The Tower Zone
2. The Wharf
   The Square Mile

The Square Mile is the City of London, according to its historical boundaries. It's where all the financial firms are found. It is also known as the City.

1. Footbridge
   Wobbly Bridge
2. Useless Bridge
   Little Bridge

This pedestrian only bridge wobbled a lot when it was first built, a result of the architects not doing their math properly. It has since been fixed. It was actually quite safe and not very high above the water anyway, but it was still very embarrassing when people began wobbling it!

1. The Tower
   The London
2. The Shard
   The Bridge

The Shard quite liked their nickname and stopped trying to get people to use their other name. Modern builders are wise in not going against this grand tradition, inaugurated with the Gherkin.

1. Greenbacks
   Bucks
2. Cheddar
   Twiddle

This word is also used in the US to mean money. It comes from a time that welfare recipients got actual cheese, and the name stuck around after the cheese was long gone.

1. The Grey
   The Smoke
2. The Mist
   Londinium

The Smoke is the city itself, as in, "I'm going up to the Big Smoke tomorrow". Note: London is always up, even though it's in the south. You go down to the country and up to London.

1. Greens
   Burbs
2. Cunch
   Country

Think of cunch like "country" said in a Cockney accent. It's an affectionate term for the green area you can reach shockingly quickly once you get out of central London, thanks to good urban planning.

1. The Fuzz
   The Nick
2. The Thin Blue Line
   The Rozzers

The Nick is where the Cops put you if they get you. They're likely to say, "You're nicked" meaning arrested, though they do then read your rights. London police are very civilized and really do not carry guns.

1. The Pencil Sharpener
   The Cheesegrater
2. The Slider
   The Scooter

The Cheesegrater almost wasn't built due to the 2008 recession, but as things improved, it was back on! Since 2014 it has stood 47 stories high.

1. Cuply
   Mugga
2. Tea-tea
   Cuppa

A cuppa is the English cure for all problems. Whether it's terminal illness, feeling a bit tired, or just being bored, you need a cuppa to make it better.

1. The Fighter
   The Stealth Bomber
2. The Death Star
   The Pretentious Tower

The Stealth Bomber was designed specially not to block the view to St. Paul's Cathedral, because London planning permission is very hard to get. That's why it's rather a funny shape.

1. Bro
   Bruv
2. Feller
   Numpty

This is a contraction of "brother", which in Cockney, sounds like "bruvva". Cockney is notorious for its glottal stops and swallowed H's.

1. Brah
   Chica
2. Bro
   Bloke

Bloke is used all over Australia and New Zealand as well as London, which gives you an idea how long it has been a slang word! It just means an adult man.

1. Can of Ham
   Vat of Turkey
2. Den of Dogs
   Can of Worms

The Can of Ham is next to the Gherkin, which is very fitting. It's a funny looking building and really, you could put tuna in it. It's very eco-friendly, which is nice!

1. Duffer
   Geezer
2. Modge
   Boon

This word comes from the French word guiser, which meant a mummer or actor back in the day. These days it's a bloke you probably like, but he's not posh.

1. Buki
   Shuss
2. Suss
   Pish

Buki is like spooky only it's not! It means something that's suspicious or not what it appears to be. As in, "We want to rent somewhere near there but that last place was well buki."

1. The Helter-Skelter
   The Slide
2. The Pinny
   The Apron

The Helter-Skelter is not going to be called the Pinnacle, despite the architects' best efforts. They are unwisely going against the British sense of humor, which is doomed to fail, as the Gherkin's architects can tell them. This is a good sign, though; traditionally, Brits give names to things they like.

1. Odds
   Ends
2. That Old House
   Eastie

The ends are where you're from, before all the wealthy people move in and ruin it! It's what Brits call the hood.

1. The Crisp
   The Chip
2. The Pringle
   The Track

Built for the Olympics to house the Velodrome, this building looks like a Pringle. There's no getting around it. It's a Pringle.

1. Boff
   Toff
2. Minger
   Bro

A toff is a posh bloke. You'll find him on Jermyn Street buying a fancy suit and then drinking at Raffles.