If You Were a Car, How Fast Could You Go?

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
If it's Sunday afternoon, what are you most likely to be doing with your time?
Golfing
Napping
Hanging out with friends.
Coming down off a weekend of partying.

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What's the longest road trip you've ever gone on in your life?
Maybe four hours or so
I don't really do road trips.
I've spent the whole day driving.
Days and days

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What kind of music is playing in your car when you're out driving?
Pop
Classic Rock
Hip Hop
Anything loud

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If you could have any car in the world, what would you get?
Tesla Roadster
Cadillac El Dorado
Ford Mustang
Koenigsegg Agera

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What qualifies as a late night for you?
Watching TV till midnight
Up till 10 reading a book
Having drinks until last call
Getting home three days later

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What's the most important feature for you when you go shopping for a car?
Fuel economy is big.
Room for lots of people
It has to perform well and look good.
Nothing but speed

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How many speeding tickets would you say you've had in your life?
I haven't been caught yet.
None
One or two
Who keeps count?

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What do you have hanging from the rearview mirror of your car?
Air freshener
A cool pair of fuzzy dice
I have a classy garter belt.
Not a thing

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What do you do if you get lost on the road?
just keep driving until something looks familiar.
Stop and ask for directions.
That's what GPS is for.
What? I never get lost.

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You're about two seconds from the light when it turns yellow. What do you do?
I'll stop if I can do it in time.
I'm stopping.
Gun it.
That light will be a mile behind me by the time it turns red.

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Who's usually riding shotgun in your car?
My significant other
A family member
A hot date
I don't really like a lot of people in my car.

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How many years have you been driving anyway?
Under 10
Too many
Not many
Over 10

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Do you make sure you get your oil changed on a regular basis?
Um, what qualifies as regular?
I'm almost positive I've changed my oil.
It's not set in stone or anything.
Like clockwork

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It's not all sunny days out on the highway. What's the worst weather for driving?
I'm not a big fan of fog.
I'm fine no matter what.
I don't like rain that much.
I hate ice and snow!

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Hollywood can craft a pretty awesome car movie when it wants to. What's your favorite car flick?
"Back to the Future"
"Smokey and the Bandit"
"Gone in 60 Seconds"
"Furious 7"

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Sometimes the hardest part about picking a new car is getting the color right. What's the best color for a car?
Blue
Seafoam Green
Black
Red

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If you're out on the road, where are you most likely to be going?
To or from work
Maybe shopping or something like that
To a friend's place
Just driving for fun

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When you find yourself in a situation with total strangers, how do you handle yourself?
I'm polite but tend to keep to myself.
I might chat up some strangers, why not?
I'll probably ignore everyone.
Finish whatever I'm there for and leave quick.

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How likely are you to throw a party for no reason whatsoever?
For no reason? There has to be some reason.
Not super likely at all
I do that every now and then.
A party is its own reason. I'm down.

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What's the best kind of fast food in the world?
I like a tasty burger.
Nothing beats fried chicken.
All depends on my mood that day.
Tacos, of course!

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Where do you park your car when you're not behind the wheel?
On the street
I have a parking structure I use.
In the driveway
In the garage

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Your friend is throwing a backyard barbecue by the pool on the 4th of July. What's the first thing you do when you show up?
Say hi to everyone.
Are there hot dogs ready?
Grab a drink.
Cannonball into that pool.

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Where would you most like to take a road trip to if you had the time?
Los Angeles
Florida
New York City
Las Vegas

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What's in the trunk of your car right now?
A blanket, an emergency road kit, some random junk ...
Tools and road salt and my spare tire
Just the emergency road kit
Nothing

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What would happen if your passenger was eating something messy and spilled on the upholstery?
I have wipes for just such an emergency.
Wouldn't be the first time.
I might freak out a little.
No one eats in my car, so that wouldn't happen.

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Not everyone's perfect. Have you ever been in an accident?
Just a little ding
Nope!
I have.
Not yet!

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How likely are you to pick up a hitchhiker?
Maybe, if I wasn't alone already.
Sure, everyone needs a hand sometimes.
It'd have to be one amazing-looking hitchhiker.
Never going to happen.

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If you couldn't drive yourself, how do you think you'd get around?
Maybe a bike
My feet are useful.
Public transportation to the rescue!
Uber is my friend.

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How would you react if you discovered someone had keyed your car?
I'd start parking somewhere else.
I'd be unhappy but I'd try to buff it out.
I'd swear like a sailor.
I'd go ballistic. Also, I'd call the cops.

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Aside from a car, what kind of automobile is most appealing to you?
Truck
Van
SUV
Motorcycle

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You Got:

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