If You Were an Actress, Which Classic Movie Would You Have Starred In?

By: Emily Maggrett
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
If You Were an Actress, Which Classic Movie Would You Have Starred In?
Image: Chendo Pérez / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Calling all actresses, would-be actresses and classic movie fans! Have you ever wondered what kind of starlet you would have been if you'd been alive during the Golden Age of Hollywood? 

It's fun to daydream about whether the studio would have given you a dramatic makeover, complete with fake eyelashes, barrel curls and scarlet lipstick. Would you have been presented as a wholesome girl next door, or as an alluring vixen type, the kind that causes the hero's downfall? Would you have been allowed to keep your own name, or would the marketing people have made you change it to something classy and alliterative, like "Genevieve Gordon"? Most importantly, would you have gotten cast in great comedies like "Born Yesterday" or "Bringing Up Baby," or would you have starred in dramas like "Citizen Kane" or "Mildred Pierce"?

In this quiz, we're going to diagnose what kind of Old Hollywood starlet you would have been, by asking you to create a classic Hollywood movie star persona. By the end of the quiz, our supercomputer will have figured out whether the studio would have marketed you as a smoldering woman of mystery, daffy screwball comedy lead, fleet-footed musical star or witty leading lady. Ready to travel back to the era of deep side parts and beauty marks? Let's play!

What would your classic movie star name be?
Belinda Beston
Jean Lund
Susie Van Cleef
Irene Fitzgerald

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How would you do your hair?
In rich brown, curly waves
Dark blonde and pinned back
In a short flapper's bob, with pin curls
In a riot of red curls

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Which handsome leading man would you be seen with about town?
Glenn Ford
Omar Sharif
Eddie Fisher
Howard Hughes

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Every starlet needs a signature scent. What would yours be?
Something wicked and potent, like "Opium" by Yves Saint Laurent
Something sweet but mysterious, like Guerlain's "Shalimar"
A cheerful floral, like "White Shoulders"
A woody, masculine scent like "Tabu"

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Would you live in a charming bungalow, a spacious penthouse, the Chateau Marmont or ... ?
Spacious penthouse, please!
I'd have a bungalow in the Hollywood Hills.
I'd live in the suburbs with my non-movie star husband.
I'd stay at the Chateau Marmont when in Los Angeles because I'd be based in New York.

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How would you do your make-up?
I'd have arched eyebrows, false lashes and pouty red lips.
I'd do it minimally, using mostly just foundation, mascara and blush.
I'd be serving rosy cheeks and lips.
I'd focus attention on my spectacular eyes, using lots of eye shadow, false lashes and mascara.

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Classic movie stars often told the press that their good looks were thanks to bizarre beauty secrets. What would yours be?
Raw meat facials
Sleeping upside down
Putting cucumber slices under my eyes
Splashing my face dozens of times with cold water

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Who's a better dancer? Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire?
Gene Kelly
Fred Astaire
I prefer Donald O'Connor!
Cyd Charisse was the GOAT, actually.

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Do you like the bad boy or bad girl type?
Oh yeah!
Yeah, and it's burned me.
Nah. Too much work.
No, I prefer cute nerds!

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Which one of these sleek little cars would you drive?
I wouldn't drive; I'd be driven around by my chauffeur in a Rolls Royce.
1964 Aston Martin DB 5
1953 Corvette roadster
1962 Cadillac convertible

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In one word, how would you describe your personal style?
Chic
Elegant
Adorable
Glamorous

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What would your studio-approved fake backstory be?
"I'm just a fresh-faced young woman from Chicago."
"Raised by minor European aristocracy, I can't resist the lure of good old-fashioned American films."
"Raised on a farm, I still have the Christian values I grew up with."
"A socialite from back East, my philosophy is 'work hard, play hard.'"

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Many classic Hollywood stars had feuds with each other (at least, according to the tabloids.) Which leading lady would you feud with?
Joan Crawford, of course!
Marlene Dietrich
Elizabeth Taylor
Ginger Rogers

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What's your most striking physical feature?
My huge eyes
My sensual lips
My button nose
My magnificent cheekbones

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No Hollywood star would go without a darling lap dog for petting in front of the press. Which kind would you get?
A cranky little Maltese
A fluffy Bolognese
A nimble Pomeranian
Sorry, I can't stand small dogs!

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Who's a bigger smokeshow: Cary Grant or Gregory Peck?
Cary Grant
Gregory Peck
Burt Lancaster, actually
Forget them, what about Robert Mitchum?

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Some of the greatest classic films are film noir, or mystery stories about the dark side of human nature. What's your favorite film noir?
"The Petrified Forest"
"Double Indemnity"
"Citizen Kane"
"Laura"

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Would you have affairs with your leading men?
Lol, yeah
Only if I fell desperately in love
No way!
Yes, but I'd lie about it.

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Take a look at your closet. Which colors dominate it?
Black and silver
Cream, brown and yellow
Pink and green
Red and blue

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When it comes to dry, sarcastic men, do you prefer Humphrey Bogart or George Sanders?
George Sanders
Humphrey Bogart
I don't like guys like that.
What can I say? Humphrey Bogart was the Sam Rockwell of his day.

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Which designer would make all your costumes?
Edith Head
Orry-Kelly
Cecil Beaton
Chanel

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Joan Crawford was notorious for hating wire hangers, as she claimed they were bad for clothes. What would your ridiculous pet peeve be?
I'd despise the smell of oranges.
I'd refuse to be photographed while out and about.
I'd be afraid to fly, always taking boats or trains.
I'd insist on only drinking ice water (it burns calories!)

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Are you high-key, low-key or no-key?
Low-key, TBH
No-key. I'm so calm, I barely have a pulse.
High-key AF!
I'm a little tense but I don't want to talk about it!

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What kind of jewels would you wear?
I'd be dripping with diamonds.
None. I'd rather have a quiet gold bracelet.
Diamond studs FTW
I'd have pearl and sapphire earrings.

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Most stars had skeletons in their closets, which scandalized the public once they were made leaked. What would your scandalous secret be?
I had an affair with my director.
I ... also had an affair with my director.
Another star stole my husband.
I like to wear pants!

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Are you pretentious?
Define "pretentious."
No, not on purpose
I'm down-to-earth as heck!
Yeah. What of it?

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If you were competing on "American Idol," how would you do?
Not very well!
I would never even go on that show.
I'd probably win.
Uh, I'd get cut early.

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Elizabeth Taylor was famously married eight times. How many times would you be married?
Four times
Three times
Twice
Just once

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In your opinion, what's the greatest musical of all time?
"The Music Man"
"An American in Paris"
"Singin' in the Rain"
"Oklahoma"

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Which of these quotes resonates the most with you?
"My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose."
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
"I can pick good food, but I can't pick a good man."
"If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased."

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