If You've Eaten 23/30 of These Foods, We'd Guess You're a True Brit

By: Zoe Samuel

If You've Eaten 23/30 of These Foods, We'd Guess You're a True Brit
Image: Sharon Vos-Arnold / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Contrary to popular stereotypes, these days, Britain is full of a variety of wholesome and healthy foods. In any city over about 100,000 people, you can get quality cuisine from any nation, and even smaller towns tend to sport at least one Italian place, an Indian place, something that passes for French, and two restaurants that claim they're Chinese, but only one of them is authentic.

However, this doesn't mean that traditional British foods have all gone the way of the dodo. There was indeed a period when British food was often overcooked slop, and the only places you could get a decent amount of spice was the local Indian restaurant. This was a time memorably satirized by "The Kumars at No. 42" when the core cast "go for an English" and compete to eat "the blandest thing on the menu." All the finest houses and hotels bragged that they had a French chef on staff, and vegetables that were once green and crunchy were regularly served after they had been reduced to shapeless white goo.

Fortunately, these dark days are long past, and British food has upgraded itself to stay competitive. You can now enjoy healthy and modern takes on dishes that are absolutely dreadful when done wrong, but simply divine when correctly cooked. Of course, only a true Brit knows how to get them right, or tell when they've been done right, and you have to be pretty darn British to have the stomach to try many of them! Can you make it to 23 out of 30?

Toad in the hole Have you ever eaten toad in the hole?
I'm eating it right now!
Once or twice, yes
I think that's what it was.
Why ... why would I eat toad?

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Haggis Could you make headway against a haggis?
I love haggis!
I had it once to be polite.
I tried it. I puked it up. I did not tell the host.
No. It's literally a bag of leftover meat, I'm not eating that.

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Yorkshire pudding How often do you eat a lovely Yorkshire pudding?
I have three in my pocket at all times, just in case.
Every Sunday, plus whenever someone offers one.
I love them but I can't get them right myself.
I don't trust Yorkshire puddings. Why are they so puffy?

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Bakewell tart Has a Bakewell tart ever passed your lips?
Yes! It's in my hand right now.
Only a few times, but it was good.
I think so. Jammy almond-y thing, right?
No, but the name is promising.

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Eton mess Could you name the ingredients in an Eton mess?
Name them? I have them in my fridge right now!
No, but I know they are good.
I think so, but I have not had one.
Um ... Eton and mess?

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British tea Would you care for a cup of tea?
I've just had three, thanks, but maybe in an hour.
No thanks, I had tea this morning.
I don't really like tea.
I am a coffee person.

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Beer-battered fish and chips Might we tempt you with this lovely beer-battered fish and chips?
Sure, just as soon as I finish this haggis.
Not right now, but please pop it in the fridge for dinner.
Eh. Beer? Nah.
No thanks, I don't eat food with a face.

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Hooray! Yay!
Eh. Probably nay.
Definitely nay
Why would you even offer such a thing? Why does this exist?

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Lancashire hotpot Are you hot for Lancashire hotpot?
Who isn't?
I have been.
No, thanks
No. It looks like a casserole died and you're serving its zombie.

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Shepherd's pie Has a shepherd's pie ever graced your insides?
Every Thursday!
I think so. It may have been a cottage pie.
No. Mash freaks me out.
I'm a vegan.

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Trifle How about some trifle?
Yes, please! Trifle is no trifling matter!
Does jelly count as trifle if I put cream on it?
Ew, no.
It's just cream, you know that, right? Sugary cream!

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Jellied eels This one is hardcore: jellied eels. Can you handle it?
Um ... OK, I guess.
No! Are you mad?
Jellied what now?
Excuse me, I am too busy puking to answer this.

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Black pudding Does your full English include black pudding?
I love black pudding!
I ate a black pudding once and I still regret it.
Why do I have a feeling this is not "pudding" as I know and love it?
I'm not fooled, I know what's in that stuff.

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Bangers and mash We've all had the mash, but have you had the bangers?
Indeed, a love a good banger.
No, that's too much sausage for me.
Does a chipolata count?
No. Sausages are just haggis in disguise.

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Cornish pasty Could you go for a Cornish pasty?
I have one in my locker, thanks!
I think there is one in my freezer, but it might be a hot pocket gone bad.
No, those things are weird.
No. Keep your meaty evil croissant away from me.

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Steak and kidney pie Have you ever sampled steak and kidney pie?
Yes! It's great!
I think so. It was pie, anyway.
No. The steak is fine but I can't get past the kidneys.
... whose kidneys?

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Beef Wellington How do you feel about beef Wellington?
Love it! All hail the Iron Duke and his excellent culinary taste!
I like it, but only with the spinach filling instead of the mushrooms. Does that count?
The only Wellington I have is the boot.
It has mushrooms, and I do not trust mushrooms.

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Bubble and squeak Have you ever fallen for some bubble and squeak?
I love bubble and squeak!
Bubble, no. Squeak, sure.
Yes, just once
No. I don't eat food that requires killing anything that goes "squeak."

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Spotted dick Spotted dick sounds worse than it is. Have you tried it?
It's just raisins in suet and it's yummy.
It's raisins in suet and it's awful.
I tried it, but I didn't know what it was at the time.
That sounds like a disease. No, thanks.

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Rhubarb crumble Rhubarb crumble is a fine seasonal dessert. Have you ever had it?
Every year!
My parents made me try it as a kid.
No. I've seen what my siblings' faces looked like after they tried it.
I'm not really a dessert person.

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Victoria sponge Would you ever enjoy a Victoria sponge?
Absolutely! I make a prizewinning one myself.
I surely would.
I would consider this.
No. I have an ex named Victoria and the memories are too painful.

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Crumpets feature in my teatime!
Yes, but only once.
I once picked up a crumpet to eat it but the texture put me off.
Crumpets are rubbery and they scare me.

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Bread and butter pudding Have you ever known the taste of bread and butter pudding?
Yes! Brioche chocolate bread and butter pudding is how to make real magic.
That doesn't sound like a proper pudding.
I would eat this to be polite.
No. That is not a proper pudding.

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Scotch egg Could you describe a Scotch egg from experience?
I could indeed!
I think so.
I had an egg in breadcrumbs. Does that count?
I don't like egg unless it is mixed in, as in a cake.

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Yes. It's just fancy cheese on toast.
I think so. It was basically just cheese on toast with herbs.
No. I'm trying to eat fewer carbs.
No. I think this involves rabbits and typos, and I am suspicious.

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Shortbread Did you give shortbread a chance?
Yes. It's boring, but I like it.
It was like eating sandstone.
No. It doesn't look or feel like food.
No, I'd rather have some baklava.

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Scones with jam Have you ever tried scones with jam and clotted cream?
Mmm! Yes, please!
Once in a while
I had this in London. It was fine.
No thanks. I'd prefer a muffin.

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Edinburgh rock Have you sampled Edinburgh rock?
Yes. It is the perfect candy.
It's too sweet, but I tried it.
Brighton rock is better.
Nope. It looks like chalk.

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Kippers Are kippers on the menu in your house?
Yep! They're just mackerel.
Only for my health. I don't like them.
No, thanks.
If I want to eat a small, weird fish, I'll go for an anchovy!

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Chicken tikka masala It's the most popular dish in the UK. Have you ever had a chicken tikka masala?
I would eat this every day if I could.
Yes, and I liked it fine.
Yes. It was a little too spicy for me.
No, but I would!

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