I'm not even supposed to be here today: Take the Clerks quiz!

By: Maria Trimarchi

I'm not even supposed to be here today: Take the Clerks quiz!
Image: tmdb

About This Quiz

Very loosely based on Dante Alighieri's "The Divine Comedy," Kevin Smith's cult classic "Clerks" takes Dante Hicks -- and us -- on a day trip through the nine circles of hell: Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath (Anger), Heresy, Violence, Fraud and Treachery. How much do you remember about Dante's day at the convenience store?
Where does Randal rent his videos?
Big Choice Video
Although he works at a video store, Randal rents his videos at Big Choice Video.
RST Video
Video Express
Videology

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What's the name of the video store Randal clerks at?
Big Choice Video
RST Video
Randal works at the video store next to the Quick Stop, RST Video.
Video Express
Videology

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Why does Dante make the "I assure you; we're open" sign for the Quick Stop?
the lock is damaged from an attemped break-in
the key broke off in the lock
the lock is frozen
somebody jammed gum in the lock
The "I assure you; we're open" sign was needed because someone jammed gum in the window shutter locks. Buncha savages in this town.

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Which character did Kevin Smith originally plan to cast himself as?
Dante
Randal
Kevin Smith based the character of Dante on himself, and Randal on his friend Bryan Johnson (who worked, for real, at RST Video). But he was originally going to cast himself, not Jeff Anderson, as Randal.
Jay
Sanford

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What time do the lights go out in the bathroom every night at the Quick Stop?
8:14 p.m.
7:14 p.m.
6:14 p.m.
5:14 p.m.
The lights go out at 5:14 p.m. in the Quick Stop bathroom.

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What brand of gum does the riot-inciting gum representative work for?
Beechies
Chewlies
The gum rep who stops by the Quick Stop works for the Chewlies gum brand.
Fruit Stripe
Juicy Fruit

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Kevin Smith's mother makes a cameo as which character?
an indecisive customer at the video store
Funeral Director at Posten's Funeral Home
Milk Maid at the Quick Stop
Grace Smith, Kevin Smith's mother, makes an appearance as the "Milk Maid" customer at the Quick Stop.
Caged Animal Masturbator at the Quick Stop

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What part of Russia is Silent Bob's cousin Olaf from?
Grozny
Moscow
Silent Bob's cousin Olaf is from Moscow. Berzerker!
St. Petersburg
Vladimir

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After he's called in to work on his day off, Dante finds out his boss is where?
in the city
at Big Choice Video
in Connecticut
in Vermont
Dante finds out he won't be leaving early, as his boss is in Vermont.

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Which character does Walter Flanagan not play?
Willam Black
Walt Flanagan plays all of these characters except for William Black. Scott Mosier plays Willam "Snowball" Black.
odd man looking through the Quick Stop egg selection
cat-friendly customer at the Quick Stop
angry smoker at the Quick Stop

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What does Dante's girlfriend, Veronica, bring him for lunch?
burger and fries
chili
lasagna
Veronica brings Dante lasagna for lunch.
pizza

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What is high school all about?
algebra, bad lunch and infidelity
High school, Dante tells Caitlin, is about algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.
algebra, gym class and infidelity
geometry, bad lunch and infidelity
gym class, bad lunch and infidelity

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How old is Dante Hicks?
21
22
Dante is 22 years old. He lives with his parents, in Leonardo, New Jersey.
31
32

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Who dies while doing laps at the YMCA pool?
Caitlin Bree
Julie Dwyer
Julie Dwyer dies from an embolism while doing laps in the YMCA pool.
Brandi Svenning
Gwen Turner

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What'll be the social event of the season?
Caitlin Bree's wedding
Clerks II
Julie Dwyer's funeral
Randal doesn't want to miss Julie Dwyer's funeral, as he predicts it'll be the social event of the season.
the hockey game on the Quick Stop roof

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According to Dante, why did "Empire Strikes Back" have a better ending than "Return of the Jedi"?
Han gets frozen
Luke's hand gets cut off
all "Jedi" had was a bunch of muppets
all of these reasons
According to Dante, "Empire" had the better ending because it ends on a down note, while "all 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets."

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What color is the ball used in the hockey game?
white
orange
An orange ball is used in the game. One orange ball.
blue
black

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What kind of car does Dante drive?
Buick Century
Dante drives a 1976 Buick Century.
Cadillac Fleetwood
Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
Volkswagen Scirocco

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What brand of fruit pies does the Quick Stop sell?
Dave's
While the fruit pies may look like they're Hostess, we assure you at the Quick Stop it's Dave's fruit pies on the shelves.
Entenmann's
Hostess
Lucky Leaf

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Wynarski's got no more time to wait around for Randal. What's his customer number at RST Video?
182
218
812
The number's 812, Wynarski. (Oh, and he wanted to get a movie, too.)
821

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What does Wynarski accidentally leave behind at the Quick Stop?
his hat
his keys
Wynarski accidentally leaves his keys on the counter at the Quick Stop.
his shoe
his sunglasses

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What's the Quick Stop cat's name?
Annoying Customer
Happy Scrappy Hero Pup
Lenin's Tomb
Although Randal jokes the cat's name is "Annoying Customer," the cat's real name is Lenin's Tomb.
Salsa Shark

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Who is credited as the Cat Wrangler?
Ed Hapstak
Richard Linklater
David Klein
Vincent Pereira
Among other roles, Vincent Pereira is given special thanks for being the Cat Wrangler.

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Who is Caitlin Bree's fiance, according to the announcement her mother put in the paper?
an Asian design major
Although everyone confuses it, Sang is a design major, not a drum major.
an Asian drum major
Dante Hicks
Rick Derris

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What is Dante fined for doing?
selling alcohol to a minor
selling cigarettes to a minor
While it was technically Randal who was working at the time, Dante is fined for selling cigarettes to a minor.
selling energy drinks to a minor
selling vaping products to a minor

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How does Randal make his exit from the Quick Stop?
he sneaks out
he storms out
he walks out
he wrangles out
There goes Randal ... he's a Berzerker! Randal wrangles (or as some fans would say, does "The Randal Strut") out of the convenience store.

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What is Dante's destiny in the film's original ending?
he dies
In the original version, Dante is shot dead by a robber after he closes the Quick Stop for the night.
he goes back to school
he marries Caitlin
he marries Veronica

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Which Richard Linklater movie does Kevin Smith credit for inspiring him to become a filmmaker?
Dazed and Confused
Slacker
Smith was inspired to become a filmmaker after watching Richard Linklater's "Slacker," back in 1991.
SubUrbia
Tape

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Who in the cast and crew worked at the convenience store where the film was shot?
Jason Mewes
Kevin Smith
Creator Kevin Smith worked at the Quick Stop at 58 Leonard Ave. in Leonardo, New Jersey, which is the convenience store that doubled as Quick Stop in the movie.
Scott Mosier
Brian O'Halloran

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How did Kevin Smith finance "Clerks"?
he maxxed out his credit cards
he sold his comic book collection
he worked at the convenience store
all of the above
Along with maxing out about 10 or so credit cards, Smith used a family donation, his paychecks from the convenience store, and profit from the sale of his comic book collection to gather the $27,575 film budget.

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What was the original MPAA classification?
X
NC-17
Because of language, "Clerks" was originally classified by the MPAA as an NC-17 movie.
R
PG-13

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What film school did Kevin Smith attend and drop out of before making "Clerks"?
American Film Institute
The Los Angeles Film School
NYU
Vancouver Film School
Kevin Smith attended but dropped out of the Vancouver Film School before making "Clerks."

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Who does Kevin Smith thank for leading the way?
Jim Jarmusch
Spike Lee
Richard Linklater
all of these men
Hal Hartley, Jim Jarmusch, Spike Lee, and Richard Linklater are all on Smith's list of thank yous.

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Which two actors were married after meeting on the set of "Clerks"?
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
Jeff Anderson and Lisa Spoonhauer
Jeff Anderson (Randal) and Lisa Spoonhauer (Caitlin Bree) were married, from 1998 to 1999, after meeting on the set of Clerks.
Jason Mewes and Marilyn Ghigliotti
Kevin Smith and Jennifer Schwalbach

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What candy bar is the "K" from the "Clerks" logo from?
Hershey's Kisses
KitKats
Krackel bar
Clark bar
The "K" in the logo is from a Clark Bar. All told: the "C" is from "Cosmopolitan" magazine; the "L" is from "LIFE"; the "E" comes from "Rolling Stone"; the "R" is from Ruffles potato chips; and, the "S" is from Goobers candy.

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