Is Your S.O. More Girlfriend or Wife Material?

By: Olivia Cantor
Estimated Completion Time
12 min
Your nephews come over. You suggest to your S.O. to come over and meet the kids. What's her reaction?
"Great! Love to meet them. Let's take them out for ice cream."
"Yeah sure. I'll come through for a while, but I can't stay long."
"Let me check my schedule. Not sure what I have."
"What? No way! I hate kids."

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Can she stand your eating habits?
She signals me discreetly and lovingly when I've got crumbs around my mouth from time to time. Love that woman.
She chuckles sometimes when crumbs drop out of my mouth. I guess that means she can.
She gives me the eye when I've got something stuck on my teeth. As if I can see it, right?
She says it embarrasses her when I'm messy or talk with my mouth full.

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She rushes you to the hospital one time. When asked who's your "contact in case of emergency" person, what's her reply?
"Me. Put my name."
"Hon, do I give your parents' names or is OK to put mine for now?"
"Not sure. Let me get an ID. Maybe it's in there."
"Here's the wallet. Just check if it's in there somewhere. I don't know."

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Planning on surprising her, you drop by her house and find a stranger there. When you ring the bell, how does she respond?
"Hey, love! Come, meet my friend from out of town. You'd hit it off for sure."
"Honey, I wasn't expecting you. I've got an unexpected guest, too. Rain check?"
"I told you to always message me first before coming over, right? What do you want?"
"I'm busy. Come back tomorrow."

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Do you have culture clashes of any kind?
We derive great joy from celebrating our differences and learning about different cultures.
I guess our differences don't bother her very much. We do different things for the holidays, but it's no big deal.
She never mentions it. It doesn't come up.
Well, she always says to leave her alone about that stuff, because she wants to do things her way.

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Feeling romantic during your anniversary, you surprise her with a weekend trip to Hawaii. What's her reaction?
"Oh love, you're so sweet! And you checked my schedule to see if I'm cleared that time. Extra sweet!"
"Oh hey, that's cool. Let me help you with our itinerary."
"Great, babe! I've never been! But you're paying for everything, right?"
"Wow, nice! Do we have separate rooms? I think I prefer that, sweetie. For privacy, you know. Can you make that happen?"

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Talking wistfully about how you'll behave when you're both in your senior years, what does she contribute?
"I bet we'll still laugh at the same things ... even without our original teeth! Now that's hilarious."
"I don't want to think that far yet. Let's focus on our youth while we still have that, OK?"
"That's such nonsense, babe. You don't even know if we'll be alive tomorrow. Life's too uncertain."
"Stop being silly! You're annoying."

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So you finished college and she didn't. Is this an issue?
No. She says she admires people who went to pursue higher education. She wants to do that, too, when time and money permits. I support that!
Not really. She says it has nothing to do with why we're together.
Well, sometimes she says, "If I were the one who went to college and if I only had half your brain, I'd be twice as successful as you now!" Not sure how to take that.
Every chance it comes up, she makes it an issue. Like I'm "always the smart college one" and stuff. It sounds like a liability.

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You won an award in your industry! When you invite her to be your date at the award ceremonies, how does she react?
"Congratulations, love! Of course I'll accompany you. Proud girlfriend here!"
"That's really nice. I'm free that night anyway."
"Is there free food and booze there?"
"Ooh, sure, so I can dress up fancy! Will there be a lot of beautiful people there, too?"

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Suddenly short of cash for this month's rent, you ask for her help for the first time. What does she tell you?
"Oh no, what happened? Sure, no problem. Glad to help."
"I'll lend you money, but not all of it. I'll be short if I do."
"I don't have that kind of cash."
"You've got a job, right? Ask for a loan or something. Why didn't you plan ahead? That's your problem!"

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One of her exes calls her up from time to time. When you ask about it, how does she react?
"Don't worry about it. We're so over. We're just discussing business because we parted in good terms. Would you like to meet one day? I'd like to assure your peace of mind."
"The person's just asking for info. It means nothing, OK? Be cool, hon."
"It's just an ex. It's nothing."
"Why are you so hung up on that? We're not doing anything wrong. You're so paranoid!"

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How's your S.O. as a travel buddy?
Spectacular! She researches the must-see places before we arrive there. She's also patient and adventurous. I can take her anywhere.
She carries her own weight during times like that. Plus she's also smart and independent in doing things. She's all right.
She always tells me what to do. And complains a lot!
She disappears on me sometimes! I don't know where she goes. I'm always left to my own devices. It's frustrating.

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You sleep over and wake up next to her for the first time. What's her reaction upon waking up next to you?
"Sorry about this hair."
"This is how I am. No makeup, no frills. Take it or leave it."
"Ugh, I've got bad breath. Don't kiss me!"
"Go away! I need to wear makeup first! Don't look at me!"

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She earns more than you in her career. How does she treat this aspect when it comes up?
She doesn't make it a big deal. We both contribute what we can afford in joint purchases. It's very democratic.
It doesn't come up, really. But if there's something pricey to pay, she sometimes treats me and foots the bill.
She doesn't say how much she earns. We always go dutch in everything, though.
She said, "Hey, I'm a feminist. Let's split everything in half." That's it.

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There's this time when she accidentally introduced you using the name of her ex. Does she apologize about it later?
Profusely. She said she got confused because she was talking to a friend about that particular ex lately. But she's very sorry for the mishap and promised never to do it again.
She laughed it off and apologized. She said it meant nothing, so I shouldn't think much about it.
No. She just shrugged and corrected it on the spot. Didn't treat it as a big deal.
She got mad and said I'm hearing things.

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Someone suddenly flirts with you in a public event. How does your S.O. react?
Amused. She knows me better than to get jealous. Then I introduce her as my S.O. and we will later laugh about that episode when we get home.
She quietly stands beside me then nonchalantly links her arm to mine. She tries to send signals to the flirt that way. I back out politely and we both leave, arms still linked.
Mad! She snarls at me like I'm also flirting back. Honest, I wasn't! But she won't believe me.
Nothing. I see her talking to some other guest at my back, though.

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She's contemplating on going vegan. How does she relay this development to you?
Kindly. She's requesting for support in several adjustments. I'm good with that.
She says she doesn't expect me to do the same. I should still eat the way I want to. We can be different in this aspect while we're together.
She's asking me to do the same. But it's more like implying I do it, too.
She says she'll hang out with her new vegan buddies more because of it. I didn't even know she had vegan buddies!

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Both of you tried to apply to the same company; she gets rejected. How does she react to your acceptance?
She's happy for me. She says maybe I'm a better fit in that office's culture. She'll look for another job.
She can't believe she got rejected. But she's happy for me, though.
She hasn't talked to me yet. I called but she's unavailable. I don't know her reaction yet.
She got mad and says it's my fault. I should have never applied there, too.

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You go to church often. She doesn't. How does she handle this difference?
She's very respectful of our individual religious beliefs. She's fine with it.
She's cool with it. But she joked that I shouldn't try to "recruit" her.
She tells me it's a waste of my time. She doesn't care to elaborate when I ask why.
She hangs out at her gym more whenever I'm in church. I guess she doesn't mind.

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A panhandler you know approaches you two as you walk along the sidewalks. What's her reaction?
She observes our interaction and later asks me about it. She's curious to know if she can help that person, too.
She got alert and a bit defensive at first. But I guess that's just her instinct. She relaxed later when I started talking to the person in a friendly tone.
"Do you really know that person? Be careful!"
"Yuck! Why are you friends with such people?"

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Your high school best friend's in town and you plan to spend some time together this weekend. What's your S.O.'s reply?
"That's nice, love! Have fun, you two! Holler if you need me there. It's perfectly fine if you don't."
"Great! I also have fun plans."
"Just don't go to any nasty joint or do something illegal, you hear?"
"Is your friend cute? Why don't you introduce us?"

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It's been a week and she hasn't contacted you in any way. When you finally get ahold of her, what does she say?
"Sorry to make you worry. I was in a dark place. I'll explain in person when we meet up."
"I just had to do something on my own. I'm good. I'll tell you about it when I'm ready."
" I needed to do things. It's no big deal."
"I was busy. What's up?"

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There's a trendy new restaurant in town. You want to try it. What's her reply?
"Sure! I'll make reservations. When do you want to go?"
"I've tried it already on my own. But I can go with you again, sure."
"So overrated. Do you want to be hip and in? You're such a cliché sometimes."
"You're paying, right?"

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Her parents are in town. You tell her you'd love to meet them. How does she react?
"Wonderful! Let me set it up."
"Sure. But be a sport and don't offend them, OK?"
"What for?"
"Nah. They won't like you."

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You expressed your disappointment about a certain political candidate one time. How did she react?
She asked me to elaborate my point. We ended up discussing political views we shared and disagreed with. It was a healthy talk.
She disagreed with me and told me her own take on it. But she cleared first that it's cool for us to have such differences.
She just snickered. She hates that kind of talk.
She just shrugged and continued playing "Candy Crush" on her iPhone.

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Something came up at work so you need to cancel your planned dinner out. What does your S.O. tell you?
"That's understandable. Don't worry. I'll call and cancel our reservations or have it moved. Just make sure you eat something there, OK?"
"Oh, OK. I'll just go ahead and eat alone. I'll message you when I'm there to see if you want something for takeout."
"You really know how to ruin an evening, don't you?"
"I prepared for this already! Fine! I'll just go out with my other friends tonight. Don't call me."

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She's feeling low. When you approach to ask for details, what's her reply?
"Can you come here and just hug me for a while? So I can tell you what's wrong."
"I need to deal with this alone for a while. Can you come back later? I'll tell you by then."
"It's no big deal. Forget it."
"None of your business! Leave me alone!"

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Her friends from out of town are here and they're planning on going out. When you ask about their plans, what's her answer?
She gives me all the details and promises to message me when plans get changed or moved. She'll also squeeze in a dinner date for us all so I can meet them.
She briefs me on who they are and what their plans are. She says she'll get in touch as soon as they come back.
"I'll tell you when we get there. I don't know yet. I'm just stringing along for the ride."
"Why are you being so nosy? Can't I have some time off with my own friends?"

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It's Valentine's Day. What are your plans?
We go out on a date. But we try to do something new for each V-date. We went skydiving once!
We go out when we feel like it. If we don't, we just stay at home and binge-watch something.
She always says we don't need to celebrate that cliché commercial holiday. We just treat it like any other day.
None. She always stays at her sister's house during that time. She says it's her sister's birthday or something.

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Feeling sentimental, you hug her and thank her for being with you all this time. What's her reply?
She hugs me back and says the same thing. She shares the sentiment.
She hugs me, too, and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. Then she returns to what she was doing.
She just smiles. Says nothing.
She gets annoyed and brushes me off.

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