What Kind of Cowboy Would Be Your Soulmate?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
What Kind of Cowboy Would Be Your Soulmate?
Image: South_agency/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

The period of the Wild West is a specific part of American history that is among the most recognizable interludes in world history for one major reason: Hollywood. The Western is considered the most "generic" of genres; that is, it has the most stringently delineated rules, such as it being a movie set generally between 1830-1910, in the western frontier, during a period of enormous change as railroads, traders and "settlers" (so named because they settled down, not because they were the first people to arrive in the area) penetrated deep into territories previously inhabited by Native Americans only, and rendered them sufficiently colonized that they soon became politically stable. It is characterized by cowboys, Native Americans (typically portrayed in a rather shallow and stereotypical way), remarkably few women, beautiful shots of Monument Valley and similarly striking locations, stagecoach chases and cattle drives. From all of this, our culture gleaned the image of the cowboy, a figure who was of this landscape and ready to embrace all its complexities - and possibly to tame it.

The Western's fundamental theme is always focused on the ambivalence about this process. The Old West was lawless, glorious, dangerous and a place you could go to reinvent yourself. It became tame, modern and less exciting, but a lot safer and more prosperous. The various figures who dominated its development played a key role in helping or hindering the change. Which of them are you?

What sort of horse do you ride?
Fat old carthorse. I have no idea what breed it is.
Tough quarter horse
Speedy Mustang
Sturdy painted horse

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Would you ever move to the city?
Definitely not
Sure, maybe
If opportunity arises
I would strongly prefer not.

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What is the worst thing about the Wild West?
Insecurity
Lawlessness
People aren't rich enough to need robbing.
Stupid farms hog all the water!

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Do you plan to marry and settle down on a ranch?
Already did!
Yes, when I am old.
I don't think that's possible for me.
If I could, I would.

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What's the best thing about the Wild West?
Space
The chance to do good
Business opportunities
Freedom

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Can the farmer and the cowman be friends?
Nope
Sure!
I don't care.
I highly doubt it.

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Which cowboy do you admire?
Ringo Kidd
Marshal Will Kane
Butch Cassidy
Thomas Dunson

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How hard do you like to work?
Lots every day!
As hard as it takes
Very little, and not often
Very hard, but only in short spurts

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Who is your friend?
Sun and rain!
The Constitution, pal
My trusty partner in crime
My herd

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What's your idea of a really good day?
Cut my harvest then have dinner with my family.
Catch those bastards who robbed the stage and thought they got away clean.
Rob the stage and get away clean.
Reach the end of the big cattle drive.

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Who is your enemy?
Drought
Lawbreakers
The sheriff
Wolves

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How long do you expect to live?
75
70
Maybe 40 if it goes well
65

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What's a really bad day for you?
A tornado rips up my crops.
I get shot by the guy I was trying to arrest.
I get arrested.
I lose my best bull and while I'm finding him, someone steals the rest.

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Do you resent city folks with their fine clothes and smug book-learnin'?
Only when they are jerks about it
No, they're great!
Yes, screw 'em.
Mostly, yeah.

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What is your relationship like with local Native Americans?
Cordial actually
Respectfully distant
Hostile
Very hostile

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How many cows is too many?
5
Any
2
More than 1,000

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How much do you respect law and order?
Mostly, though sometimes they let us down
Absolutely
Not a bit
A little

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What animal do you own besides a horse and a cow?
Dogs, chickens, pigs, geese...
Dog, of course!
None
I think about getting myself a bird.

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What is the best thing a man can own?
Land
A good gun
A fast horse
A cow that produces a lot of milk and has twins every year!

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What's the most important thing your land can have?
Fresh water
Good railroad access
Plenty of escape routes
Good grazing

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What's your regular clothing like?
Pants and a shirt with good boots.
Vest, pants, boots, smart shirt.
Long coat, warm gear
Leather chaps over pants, shirt, jacket

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What modern convenience would you miss most on the frontier?
Medicine
Library
I don't miss any of them!
Soap

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What kind of gun do you shoot?
Trusty old rifle
Nice pair of pistols
I have all the guns. Literally, name a gun, I have it.
Trusty old shotgun

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How are your lasso skills?
Honestly, poor
Pretty good
Above average
Flawless

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In a single day, how many fenceposts can you put in?
Like 50
Maybe 10
None
About 25

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Do you ever take a walk for fun?
Yes, what's the point in making the land lovely if not to see it?
Only when courting a lady!
No, what's the point of that?
I get plenty of exercise at work. My own time is for sitting.

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How often do you go to church?
Weekly
Twice a week
Twice a year
Whenever I am in town on Sunday

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How do you feel about cows?
They are so annoying.
They're food.
They're just ... there.
They are my friends.

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Do you want to live in town?
No, but nearby is good.
I would love that, yes.
I can barely even visit.
I would literally die.

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How do you feel about the taming of the frontier?
It's great!
It's right and good.
Thoroughly ambivalent
Mostly negative

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You Got: