The Monsters of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'

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"Mystery Science Theater 3000" introduced viewers to some of the cheesiest movie monsters ever committed to film. The creatures ranged from ill-conceived radioactive mutants and poorly executed aliens to … um, Torgo. How friendly are you with the monsters of MST3K?

Speaking of Torgo, what sort of monster was the "Manos: The Hands of Fate" character supposed to be?

Although the movie never directly mentions the fact, filmmaker Harold P. Warren conceived of Torgo as a cloven-hoofed satyr -- thus the weird legs and goatish facial hair.

"The Horror of Party Beach" gave us bikinis, bikers and one of the goofiest aquatic monsters of all time. The creature appeared to have a mouth full of hot dogs. What was its weakness?

The kids today don't know squat about sodium, but this soft, silvery-white chemical element kills hot-dog-mouthed beach monsters like nobody's business.

"The Creeping Terror" presented MST3K fans with one of the cheapest and lamest movie monsters of all time. Sure, it was SUPPOSED to be an alien from an advanced civilization, but what did it look like really?

The creeping terror itself was just a couple of actors walking around under a big, grungy carpet.

Joel and the bots suffered through five different Gamera films in season three, but luckily avoided three other movies about the enormous, flying Japanese turtle. Which of the following is NOT an MST3K-riffed Gamera film?

You'll remember Gyaos and Guiron as a giant bat and a giant knife monster, respectively. Jiger, however, was just a big, stupid dinosaur with tusks. You didn't miss all that much.

In "Squirm," killer earthworms rampage through southeastern Georgia, screaming and occasionally boring into a man's face. What sets the creepy crawlers off?

As it turns out, your average earthworm is just an electrical shock away from becoming a screaming, face-eating monster.

In "It Conquered the World," we learned, almost too late, that man is a feeling creature and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. Also, Lee Van Cleef and Peter Graves take on a conical alien from Venus. How does Van Cleef kill the monster?

Having been duped into helping the alien conquer the Earth, Van Cleef's character Dr. Anderson sticks a torch in its eye and then dies in the alien's rubbery embrace. So yes, he finds only death ... fire ... loss ... disillusionment ... the end of everything that's gone forward.

The last thing you want to do is unleash an infestation of crappy puppets. In "Hobgoblins," from where do the furry "Gremlin" knockoffs emerge?

Much like the movie "Hobgoblins" itself, the creatures belong in a forgotten dungeon for abandoned movie reels.

The Russo-Finnish "Jack Frost" unleashes a whole host of strange creatures on Mike and the bots. Which character from Russian folklore is the film's monstrous hag (aka "hunchback fairy”) supposed to be?

Hunchback fairy was none other than the iconic hag Baba Yaga, who flies around in a giant mortar and lives in a chicken-footed house. What a gal!

In “Laserblast,” a disenchanted teenager discovers an alien weapon and mutates into a laserblasting monster. What sort of animal do the aliens resemble?

The alien masters of the laser weapon look like stop-motion turtles, and they're adorable.

"The Pod People" features a pair of furry, elephant-trunked alien creatures: a nameless, murderous adult and a cute newborn named Trumpy. What is Trumpy's favorite Earth food?

Trumpy, who can do magic, is rather partial to tubers.

In the MST3K-riffed movie "Santa Claus," what sort of monstrous enemy does old Father Christmas square off against?

Not to be confused with "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," this 1959 Mexican film introduces a devil named Pitch as Santa's arch enemy. Inexplicably, Merlin the wizard also shows up to help Santa out.

In "The Blood Waters of Dr. Z," a mad scientist by the name of Dr. Kurt Leopold embarks on an insane scheme to avenge himself against the rest of humanity. His first step is to transform himself into a hideous monster. What less than terrifying animal does he attempt to turn into?

Poor, pathetic Dr. Z turns himself into a giant, walking catfish, fumbles his attempts at creating a female mate, robs a pharmacy, gets shot by local law enforcement and still somehow manages to carry out his evil plot.

In "Track of the Moon Beast," a chunk of brain-lodged lunar meteorite turns a shirtless dunce into a murderous monster. What does this moon beast resemble?

He's a giant lizard. Luckily, Johnny Longbow has the archery skills to take the beast down. He also has the best chicken stew recipe on the planet.

In "Attack of the The Eye Creatures" (yes, the film's title included that exact typo), features horrible monster costumes and some of the worst day-for-night shooting in cinematic history. How do the humans eventually kill the last of the aliens?

Sunlight proves lethal to the eye creatures, but so does a blast from the high beams. Bad movie? You're soaking in it.

In "Being from Another Planet" (aka “Time Walker”), actor Ben Murphy eventually learns that -- as the title suggests -- he and his fellow earthlings are dealing with an extraterrestrial being from an advanced civilization. But the alien spends much of the film disguised as this classic movie monster.

The alien messed up bad and got himself embalmed in ancient Egypt -- only to be resurrected in the 1980s.

A reanimated, muscle-bound metalhead runs wild in "Zombie Nightmare." Which actor plays the film's secret bad guy?

Adam West, TV's Batman, stars in the film as a crooked, scene-chewing detective.

In "Night of the Blood Beast," a monstrous, birdlike alien does what comes natural to a human astronaut. What exactly?

While alien pregnancy became a big deal with 1979's "Alien," this 1958 B movie features a less-horrific, more transcendent take on extraterrestrial-impregnated spacemen.

In which MST3K-riffed movie is a monster dubbed "Uncle Scrotor?"

In 1996, "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie" riffed sci-fi classic "This Island Earth" in theaters. When one of the film's mutant monsters attacks, we hear the riff, "Give Uncle Scrotor a hug!"

"Boggy Creek II: and the Legend Continues … " gives us the story of an obsessed professor and his quest to find the elusive skunk ape -- a swamp-loving species of Bigfoot. In what state does the film take place?

The film takes place in the swamps of Texarkana, Ark., where swamp people kidnap baby Sasquatches and crytpozoological encounters might make you fall down a latrine hole.

In "It Lives by Night" (aka “The Bat People”), fruit bats inexplicably bite humans and turn them into bat monsters. Which future award-winning FX artist did the film's special effects?

Stan Winston would go on to make his name with such FX blockbusters as "Terminator 2," "Predator" and "Jurassic Park," but "It Lives by Night" was one of his first forays into monster makeup. Rick Baker, on the other hand, provided FX makeup for both "Track of the Moon Beast" and "Squirm" before moving onto such monster movie classics as "An American Werewolf in London."

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