Place These U.S. Cities in Heaven or Hell and We'll Guess What Region of the Country You're From

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Place These U.S. Cities in Heaven or Hell and We'll Guess What Region of the Country You're From
Image: PeopleImages / E+ / Getty Images, dem10 / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

The place you called home growing up has a huge influence on how you feel about how things should be. If you have a good childhood, you might think that the home you grew up in is the only kind of home you could imagine raising a child inside of. 

You might think the sport  you grew up cheering for is the only kind of sport anyone should bother following. You might think the local culture of your hometown is the only culture worth embracing, the weather extremes of your hometown the only weather ones worth enduring, etc. etc. etc. At least, this is what we are betting is true. You see, we put together this quiz in which you will rank cities as either heavenly or hellish, and we think we can learn something from that.

We found that people from certain parts of the country tend to favor certain cities from other parts more than others, and sometimes they have very strong opinions on neighboring cities to their hometown, rivalries being what they are. We did a regression analysis and figured that if we cut up the country into a few specialized regions, we can peg your home region with a high degree of accuracy. Do you think that's impossible? Then take the quiz and be amazed.

Let's get windy! Would you put Chicago in Heaven or Hell?
I'm leaning toward Heaven.
I'm definitely going with Heaven.
Hell, certainly.
Probably Hell.

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Dude ... Would you, like, place Los Angeles in Heaven or Hell?
Hell, without a doubt.
Probably Heaven.
Maybe Hell. Maybe.
It's going straight to Heaven.

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Brr! Does Portland, Maine belong among the clouds or in the abyss?
It seems I'm going with Hell.
Heaven, no question about it.
I'm considering Heaven.
I'm definitely going with Hell.

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Be honest. Would you say Miami is already in Hell, or does it belong in Heaven?
Hell, without a doubt.
Obviously Heaven.
I'm leaning toward Hell.
Probably Heaven.

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Does Phoenix rise from its ashes to go to Heaven or burn in Hell?
Heaven, certainly.
I'm considering Heaven.
Maybe Hell.
It's going straight to Hell.

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Put on your biggest hat! Would you put Dallas in Heaven or Hell?
It seems I'm going with Hell.
I'm definitely going with Heaven.
Hell, without a doubt.
I'm thinking Heaven.

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Move on up to Motown! Does Detroit belong with the angels or the demons?
Probably Heaven.
It's going straight to Hell! Burn!
Maybe Hell. I mean, I hear stories...
I'm considering Heaven.

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Open up to Frasier Crane recently? Where would you place Seattle?
It seems I'm going with Heaven.
Probably Hell.
I'm going to go with Heaven.
I'm leaning toward Hell. I hate rain.

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Strap on your bluest collar. Where does Elizabeth, New Jersey rank: Heaven or Hell?
I'm definitely going with Hell.
Hell, certainly.
It's going straight to Heaven.
I'm considering Heaven.

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How would you describe Cincinnati: heavenly or hellish?
Maybe Heaven.
Hell, without a doubt.
Probably Hell.
Heaven, no question about it.

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Roll the dice! Does what happens in Las Vegas qualify for Heaven, or is it on the highway to Hell?
Let it all ride on Heaven.
Quit while you're ahead! Definitely Hell.
It seems I'm going with Heaven.
It's going to Hell.

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Gird your wallet! Can San Francisco afford a spot in Heaven, or will The Big One open a pit into Hell?
I'm leaning toward Heaven.
I'm seriously considering Hell.
Hell. Yeah, no question about it.
I'm definitely going with Heaven.

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Have a mint julep. Does Louisville slug its way into Heaven or race in to Hell?
Probably Heaven.
Maybe Hell.
Heaven, without a doubt.
Hell, certainly.

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Time to get a mile high! Is Denver high enough to reach Heaven, or do its vices earn it a spot in Hell?
It seems I'm going with Heaven.
It's going straight to Hell, baby!
Hell, obviously.
I'm strongly considering Heaven.

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Zoom! Does Indianapolis see the checkered flag in Heaven, or spin out into Hell?
Hell, without a doubt.
Heaven, but it's a photo finish.
Maybe Heaven?
Probably Hell.

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Study up! Does college town Boston earn Heavenly honors, or are the Patriots a deal with The Devil?
Possibly Heaven.
I'm definitely going with Hell.
Heaven, no question about it.
I'm leaning in the direction of Hell.

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Get your Geiger counter ready! Does Los Alamos, New Mexico have a place in the good place, or has it "become death, the destroyer of worlds"?
I can't say.
It's going straight to Heaven.
Heaven, certainly.
Hell, without a doubt.

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Surf's up! Is Lahaina, Hawaii, Heaven on Earth, or just one eruption away from the Gates of Hell?
Maybe Hell.
It seems I'm going with Heaven.
Probably Hell.
Heaven, no question about it.

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Move it, buddy! Is New York City never sleeping among the angels, or sleeping with the fishes?
Hell, with the fishes, without a doubt.
Toughie! I'll say Heaven.
Tossup. I can't sort this one out.
It's going straight to Heaven.

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Hear that silence? I know, right? Does Jackson Hole earn a spot in Heaven, or does the tax haven belong in Hell?
I'm considering Heaven.
It's obvious this one belongs in Hell.
I'm definitely going with Heaven.
Maybe Hell? I'm on the fence.

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Anchors aweigh! Does Anchorage belong in the chilly air of Heaven, or does Hell freeze over with its addition?
I'm leaning toward Heaven.
It seems I'm going with Hell, but ask me again tomorrow and it could be different.
It's going straight to Heaven.
Hell, no question about it.

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Look to the west! Does Salt Lake City earn its own planet, or burn for all eternity?
Maybe Hell.
Obviously Heaven.
Hell, certainly.
I'm considering Heaven.

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When it comes to Billings, Montana, does Heaven fit the bill, or is it going to Hell when the bill comes due?
Probably Hell.
Hell, without a doubt.
It seems I'm going with Heaven.
I'm definitely going with Heaven.

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Between Red Sox Nation and The Yankees' Empire sits New Haven, Connecticut. Do you send it to Heaven or to Hell?
I'm considering Heaven.
Hell, no question about it.
Ouch! If pushed, I guess I'll say Heaven.
It's going straight to Hell.

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Who doesn't like a swamp? Does Washington D.C. belong in Heaven, or should it shuffle off to Hell?
Heaven, certainly.
Maybe Hell.
I'm leaning toward Heaven.
Obviously Hell.

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Is Vicksburg, Mississippi civil enough for Heaven or riding the river to Hell?
I'm definitely going with Heaven.
It's a tossup.
I'm considering Heaven.
Hell, no question about it.

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When it comes to getting into Heaven, does Nashville sing the right song, or does it find itself singing the blues on the way to the inferno?
I'm considering Hell.
Probably Heaven.
Obviously Heaven.
Hell, without a doubt.

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Party time! Does New Orleans get into Heaven under the Napoleonic Code, or is it partying its way into Hell?
Heaven, potentially...
I'm definitely going with Hell.
Can I phone a friend?
It's going straight to Heaven.

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Does Omaha's oracle predict it goes to Heaven, or will it go to Hell when it changes management?
Heaven, certainly.
It's going straight to the pit!
Hell, without a doubt.
I'm considering Heaven.

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Stay weird! Is Portland, Oregon weird enough to get into Heaven, or so weird it has to go to Hell?
I'm leaning toward eternal torment.
Heaven, obviously.
I'm definitely going with Hell.
Maybe Heaven?

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You Got:

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