Plan Your Perfect Spa Day and We'll Guess How Old You Are!

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Plan Your Perfect Spa Day and We'll Guess How Old You Are!
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Spa day! Were ever two words in the English language more readily guaranteed to make the blood pressure drop, the tension ease, and the lungs expel a big hearty sigh of joy? Never! A spa day is so wonderful; it's nearly as good a day in bed snuggling your boo. It's the expensive version of cuddling a squishy Labrador puppy; one that has been fully house-trained and loves you very much indeed. It's like chocolate ice cream that has no calories but actually has the taste and texture of the real thing. It's nirvana.

Still, the spa is full of options, and everyone uses it differently.  Some people go there to look beautiful, to remove gunk from their pores and dead skin from their epidermis and gnarly parts from various other extremities. Others go to try to remove a knot just under their scapula that they have spent the last forty years creating but only have forty minutes to destroy. Others go because it's the one place you don't have your phone on you, and nobody expects you to be available. They are in direct opposition to those who go to socialize with friends who also like the spa. Generally, how you do it will be radically affected by your age. So let's see how you spa it up, and then we'll guess your age!

What treatment do you do first?
A massage.
A facial.
A seaweed wrap.
A manicure.

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What do you plan to spend?
Around $75.
Around $250.
I have a coupon.
My mom is spending up to $50.

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Who is with you?
My darling.
No one.
My BFF.
My mom.

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How naked are you going to get?
I'm going to be completely naked. Screw it!
I'll be mostly naked.
Fully but I'll be in a mud bath.
Oh, I could never.

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How do you feel about the hot stones?
Silly woo-woo.
They're not for me.
I'm into it.
They're scary.

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What manicure do you get?
A nice nude one.
Something professional.
French tips.
Silver sparkles.

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What's going to happen to the hair on your head?
A blowout.
A trim and blowout.
Nothing.
A trim.

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What about the hair on the rest of you?
A little bleaching in some places!
Waxing.
Electrolysis.
Nothing.

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Seaweed wrap: yay or nay?
No, that sounds dumb.
Too time-consuming.
Yes, please.
No, that's weird.

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What type of massage are you going to get?
A Swedish massage.
A physio massage.
A gentle massage.
None.

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What's going to happen to your skin?
It's getting a salt scrub.
It's getting a regular facial.
It's getting a mud facial.
Nothing.

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How hard do you want to be pummeled?
Not hard.
Very hard.
Fairly hard.
Not at all.

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What sort of exfoliant are you going to use?
I'll use a salty exfoliant.
I'll use a fruity exfoliant.
I'll use whatever's new.
I'm not.

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How punctual will you be?
I'll be very early.
I'll arrive on time.
I'll arrive a bit late.
I'll arrive a smidge early.

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Will you do any talking during the day?
Yes, to my darling.
No, that's the point.
Yes, to my friend.
Yes, to my mom.

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What will you have to hydrate?
Water.
Cucumber water.
Ginger drink.
Soda.

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They're offering a fish pedicure. Are you into it?
Ew, no.
I don't have time.
Sure!
I'll do it if Mom does it.

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What's the main goal of your visit?
I'm going to the spa to relax.
I'm going to the spa to maintain my health.
I'm going to the spa for pleasure.
I'm going to the spa to spend time with Mom.

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What, if anything, might you bleach?
My mustache (don't tell anyone).
My hair (on my head!)
Something very, very naughty.
I wouldn't.

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Are you going to try the milk bath?
No thanks.
I wish.
Sure!
No, I'm not taking off that many clothes.

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How much time will you spend in the sauna?
I'll spend an hour in the sauna.
I'll spend 20 minutes in the sauna.
I'll spend more than an hour in the sauna.
No time, I don't like that.

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What day of the week will you go?
Tuesday, for the discount.
Holiday Monday.
Friday, because I can.
Saturday when Mom is free and school's out.

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How will you get to the spa?
I'll take a free bus.
I'll drive myself.
I'll take a train.
Mom will drive me.

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Will you spend any time out of doors?
Yes, on the terrace.
No thanks.
Yes, by the pool.
Yes, in the pool.

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What snack will you have?
Saltines.
Veggies.
Fruit.
Candy.

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How will you pay for the day?
With money my son kindly gave me.
With my money.
With a coupon.
With mom's money.

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Where is your ideal spa?
In the city center where I can get to it.
In the suburbs, near my house.
My 'hood, which is sort of city center adjacent (by 30 minutes).
In the countryside.

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Is there also a gym in the building?
I don't really care.
Of course.
That'd be cool.
I don't know.

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How will you feel when you leave?
I feel relaxed.
I feel invigorated.
I feel a little bit risque.
I feel happy.

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Will you buy any products to take home with you?
One or two.
Oh yes, I only buy the good stuff.
Can't afford that.
I might get some nail varnish.

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You Got: