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Respond to These Innuendos and We'll Guess Where You Fall on the Scale From Vanilla to Kinky

By: Ian Fortey

5 min

Respond to These Innuendos and We'll Guess Where You Fall on the Scale From Vanilla to Kinky

Image: SilviaJansen / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Sexual innuendo is one of the most fun parts of language because it can happen even when you don't realize it. It's one of those things you either get or you don't, depending on how your mind works. A statement that may seem innocent and sweet to one person is loaded with meaning to another. It's just like a fun little garnish on the side of language. A little sauce on the steak. A little pickle on your plate. You know what we mean.

Sadly, not everyone is on board with innuendo. Some people don't get it, others get it and don't like it and, of course, sometimes it just misses the mark. Not everything needs to have a double meaning. But when it all works out right, it can be both hilarious and a little bit titillating. How much do you enjoy the innuendo, though? Is it hit and miss for you, or are you always on board for some dirty double meanings? You can tell a lot about a person, based on how they respond to innuendos. In fact, we can tell just how kinky you are as a person, based on the way you handle these we're about to throw at you. Don't believe it? You take this quiz and see. No need to cram for it at all.

Someone at work has a new job for you to do, but it sucks. Is that OK?

Well, work is work.

That's the best kind!

Could be worse

Is that a promise?

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We're grilling up some hot dogs. How do you like your buns?

Plain is fine.

Just slide it in whenever you're ready.

I like mine toasted.

Got any sausage back there?

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How long does it take you to eat a peach, anyway?

I dunno. A few minutes?

I can eat a peach for hours.

Oh my.

Wouldn't you like to know?

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Looks like the plumber will be here next week to lay some pipe. Is that OK?

Oh, no - is something broken?

Just once?

Heh

That sounds perfect.

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The party is at 9 o'clock tonight. Are you going to come?

If I'm not busy!

That's the plan, isn't it?

I'll be there.

Is that even up to me?

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On a coin flip, are you hoping for heads or tails?

Well, what are we flipping for, anyway?

You know, I want both.

Whatever gets me the win

Heads, of course

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So, do you have any Irish in you?

I haven't really checked my genealogy.

Not lately

Sigh

This line is older than Ireland.

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Someone left a milkshake on the counter. Is it yours?

No, but I'd love one!

Is the yard full of boys again?

What flavor?

I keep my milkshake closer than that.

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We're making bacon for breakfast - do you want any?

I love bacon!

Count me in. I'll place an order for lunch, too.

Heh

Bit early for that, isn't it?

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Seems like a good time for a snack, doesn't it? How do you like your nuts?

Oh, any kind of nuts are great.

Frequently

Mixed

Salty

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If it's a nice summer day, would you ever bust out the Slip n' Slide?

I don't own one!

Why wait for summer?

I'm a bit old for that.

That sounds super fun.

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If you were a pirate, do you think you'd score a lot of booty?

I hope I'd have some treasure.

I already do, so it'd only get better as a pirate.

Heh

Oh, I know I would.

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Are you the kind of person who likes to rock the Casbah?

I kind of like that song.

I'll rock it like a landslide.

Hey, what is a Casbah, anyway?

I could use a little rockin'.

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Fuel-efficient cars are all the rage, aren't they? But people still buy Hummers. Would you like a Hummer?

Not my favorite vehicle, really

Just one?

Sounds fun

I would love one.

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How do you alter your driving when you see a "slippery when wet" sign?

You need to drive with caution!

Sounds like a road I should travel down more often.

Heh

I guess I'll want to take it nice and slow.

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Are you much of a golfer? How would you react to a hole in one?

Oh wow, that's super rare.

Don't even need to be a golfer to love those

Nice!

Best way to play

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It's time for some champagne. Are you going to pop the cork?

I'm more of a wine drinker.

Again and again

Sure

That could make a mess.

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How would you react if a friend told you they got rear-ended on the drive to work?

I'd ask if they were OK.

How can I sign up for that job?

That's a shame.

There are worse things that can happen on the way to work.

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When you go to the zoo, do you ever stop to check out the beavers?

I prefer lions.

I don't even need to be at the zoo.

Sure!

Oh, you know it.

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They say a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. Do you agree?

I never really got that saying.

Anything worth something in the bush is good.

I mean... OK.

That seems like a lot.

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Hey, there's another milkshake on the counter. This one's pretty thick. Do you like it thick?

Not really

The thicker the better

That sounds OK.

Better than too thin

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If you found an old computer from back in the day, would you put a disc in the floppy drive?

If it worked, maybe

Nothing on hard disc? What a shame.

I could try.

You know I would.

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When your soup is too hot, do you blow on it?

Stirring is more polite.

Is there any other way?

I'll add some ice.

It couldn't hurt.

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You want some money from your account, but the bank said there's a penalty for early withdrawal. Is that OK?

If those are the rules

You never want to withdraw early.

Well, that sucks.

As it should be.

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If you're play-fighting with a friend and they jump on your back, would you beat them off?

That seems extreme.

Me first

I'm a bit old for play-fighting.

If they're a good friend

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Is a pearl necklace a nice addition to someone's wardrobe?

If you're into pearls

Every now and then it is.

It could be.

Only if you ask first

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If you're getting a sandwich from a deli, do you want it to be extra beefy?

I'd prefer turkey.

You can't go wrong with extra meat.

That sounds OK.

You know it.

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A dog seems to never be happier than when it's burying a bone, don't you think?

Dogs are always happy!

I see what you did there.

Well, that's a happy thing.

I bet they are.

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Do you ever get tied up at work?

I guess I stay late sometimes.

Only if it's a really good day

Seriously?

I'm not falling for this.

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If you get the urge to go surfing, do you plan to wax your board?

Is that a thing you have to do?

I always do.

If that's what it needs

I have tons of practice.

You Got:

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