Respond to These Innuendos and We'll Guess If You're Single, Taken, or Somewhere in the Middle

By: Lauren Lubas

Respond to These Innuendos and We'll Guess If You're Single, Taken, or Somewhere in the Middle
Image: Pexels by Albert Rafael

About This Quiz

For the last 30 years, the dating game has been riddled with innuendos. These suggestive comments generally hint toward sexual remarks, which can get a little creepy, especially if they are unsolicited. Some of the time, innuendos are meant to be funny ways to add to a conversation. Some are a little vaguer than others, but your ability to identify them can shape your personality and even your love life. We all know that the dating world is an ever-evolving beast, and if you haven't been in the game for a while, you may think that you know how things go, but you are probably way off. On the other hand, if you are in the swing of the game, you probably know a thing or two about how people like to allude to different sexual remarks (even if they are trying not to be creepy). Either way, your innuendo IQ can tell a lot about who you are and how you approach your love life. 

Respond to these innuendos, and we will guess if you're single, taken, married or new to the dating game.

Did it hurt?
Yes.
Did what hurt?
I'll hurt you.
I don't know. Did it?

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"I really love your peaches. I wanna shake your tree." - Steve Miller Band
It's out back.
How big is your banana? Maybe we can make a fruit salad.
Keep your hands to yourself.
Peaches are delicious!

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Can I have a quarter to call your mom and thank her?
Why does that cost a quarter?
Who carries cash anymore?
They still have pay phones?
I'm all out of money.

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Are you a beaver?
What?
*Hides teeth* No!
Do beavers speak English?
Like the animal???

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The Starbucks tip jar says: "Just put the tip in. See how it feels." What do you say after you leave a tip?
I wish I had my money back.
MMMMMMMM... that was amazing.
They don't deserve a tip.
It felt like I paid extra for my coffee.

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I'm just a hot dog looking for a bun.
I think there's a bakery down the street.
Good thing I have a bouncin' badunkadunk.
Hot dogs are gross.
I'll be the ketchup!

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I need to take ole one-eye to the optometrist.
There's a strip club down the street.
Good thing I just got my DO degree!
Did your grandpa lose an eye?
I have an eye patch for that.

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Have you ever climbed a thick tree?
I'd rather go hiking.
Why? Do you have some wood for me?
The thickest you've ever seen
I climb trees all the time.

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If I told you your body is hot, would you hold it against me?
No, I like compliments.
Only if you're cold
In your dreams
Why would I?

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I wanna fill you out like an application.
Do you need a job?
How are you going to pay for my drinks without a job?
No thanks
I have a pen right here.

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Can I hit your Upvote button?
Nah, I only like you as a friend.
As many times as you want
What is that?
I can do it myself, thanks.

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Can I put the ranch dressing in your hidden valley?
I prefer ketchup
Only if you got a big piece to dunk.
Gross
If you sprinkle bacon bits on it.

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I'd like to stuff your muffin.
I prefer my muffins dry.
Only if you got the ooey gooey good stuff.
They just came out of the oven.
Blueberry muffins are my favorite.

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You could give a dog a bone.
I only feed my dogs organic.
Good thing I just finished these chicken wings.
What can I give a cat?
I have three dogs.

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Nice rack.
Thanks, I've been working out.
Nice package
Nice car
Thanks, I bought it at Walmart.

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Do you have fries to go with that shake?
Nah, they're too salty.
Yeah, just looking for someone to complete the combo meal.
More fries than you can handle.
I prefer onion rings.

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My bedroom is having a huge sale right now. Clothing is 100% off!
That's, like, free!
Please keep your clothes on.
I'm in need of a good sale right now.
I hate shopping.

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Is your name Winter? Because I can see you coming.
That's pretty much the greatest show ever!
Haha ... Game of Thrones. I get it.
No, my name is Sharon.
Ned Stark, right?

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Does your dad bake? Because you have a nice set of buns.
No, but there's a bakery down the street.
Wanna smear mayonnaise on them?
My father was a cop.
I like big buns, and I cannot lie.

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Do you study archaeology? Because I have a bone for you to examine.
No, I study applied sciences.
Could you tell me a little more about what makes the bone unique?
Who studies archaeology?
Skeletons are creepy.

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Are you Flappy Bird? Because I could tap you all night.
That's reaching.
Tap, tap, tap-a-roo.
What's a Flappy Bird?
Wanna play D & D?

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Never change; just get naked.
It's too cold.
Do you have blankets?
Are the lights off?
I need to take a shower first.

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If I were your teacher, I'd give you the D.
I'm a straight A student.
After you do, you'll give me an A.
I had plenty of those in high school.
I hate homework, don't you?

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I think I'm allergic to you. Every time you're around I get swollen.
Then you should stay away from me.
Let's see if I can get you in full anaphylaxis.
Funny, you give me hives.
I have a Benadryl; do you need it?

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Can I see your tan lines?
Only if I can see yours first.
I don't have any.
Can I see your I.D.?
What kind of bathing suit do you think I have?

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Let's play house. You can be the door, and I'll slam you.
We have to play house, because we can't afford to buy one.
I'd rather be the floor, so you can clean me.
Only if you clean my house first.
That sounds painful.

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I imagine myself falling madly in bed with you.
I hope you have a lot of pillows.
Yours or mine?
No, you don't.
My bed is pretty small.

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I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I'd rather make you dessert.
You can take me out to both.
I'm too tired to cook.
I can't cook.

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I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
Not around you
I can harden you up.
You should soften me up.
I don't think I'm that hard, am I?

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If a man comes up to you with a box near his zipper, and asks, "What's Step 1?" How would you respond?
Cut a hole in the box.
Open the box.
Punch the box.
Put bread in the box.

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You Got: