Respond to These Situations and We’ll Guess Which Dog Breed You Are

By: Emily Maggrett
Estimated Completion Time
9 min
Respond to These Situations and We’ll Guess Which Dog Breed You Are
Image: Purple Collar Pet Photography/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Have you ever wondered what kind of pure-bred dog you're really like? Most people assume that they should be matched to the dog breeds that most resemble them, i.e., if you're a fluffy blonde Reese Witherspoon type, you should be represented by a Pomeranian, or if you look just like Idris Elba, your pure-bred doppelganger is a St. Bernard. 

However, in actuality, dog breeds have many distinctive traits that have nothing to do with their appearances. For instance, poodles may look silly and frivolous, but they're actually extraordinarily smart and athletic. On the other hand, Rottweilers appear fierce but in fact are wonderful family dogs, getting along especially well with children. 

In order to honor the more complicated side of dog breeds, this quiz focuses on behavior. Instead of trying to find out which pure-bred dog you look like, we want to know which breed you act like! To find this out, we're going to ask you how you'd respond in a number of hypothetical situations, from the fun (Which Property Brother would you rather marry?) to the serious (What would you do if you found your boss going through your cell phone?). In each instance, we ask that you answer honestly so we can accurately match you to the breed that fits you best. Ready to get started? Let's play!

Your new boyfriend's ex asks you out for coffee. What do you say?
"Girl, why?"
"Alrighty, I guess ... "
"No. I'm not here for your drama."
"Sure, sounds like fun!"

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At a party, you overhear your best friend say something terrible about you. How do you react?
I steal her boyfriend or girlfriend.
I go out onto the porch and cry.
I confront her and reduce her to a quivering pile of apologies.
I pretend like I didn't hear it but feel crushed inside.

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It's 1932 and you're stuck in the Alaskan tundra, running a lonely tavern. A man you like but aren't attracted to asks you to marry him. Do you agree?
Yeah. I'm bored!
Yes. Perhaps we will grow to love one another?
No. Alaska is dope and I'm having a great time.
How unattractive is he?

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Your dad is applying for a new job and asks you to look over his cover letter. It's badly written. What do you say?
"Try again, Pop."
(Totally embarrassed) "It's, um, pretty good, Father."
"This is trash, Pa! Do better."
"Would you mind if I took a shot at editing this, Daddy?"

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Career-wise, you're going nowhere, but you have security and enough money to get by. Is this a good or a bad situation?
It's fine, as long as I have enough money to buy myself cool treats!
It's wonderful. I crave stability far more than riches.
This situation sucks! I want more cash and I want more power!
I think I'd like to advance in my career, but I'm not sure if I'm good enough.

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Your sister's husband is abusive. One day, she murders him in self-defense. Do you help her cover it up?
I don't help her but I don't report her either. I'm staying out of it!
I report her. Murder is wrong, no matter who does it or why.
Obviously, I help her cover it up. This guy was an abuser; he deserved it.
I convince her to turn herself in and spend my savings on the best lawyer money can buy.

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As a prank, a friend puts bouillon cubes in your showerhead, so that you bathe in chicken broth. How do you get back at her?
I replace her face cream with Icy Hot. Ouch, ouch, witch!
I don't prank her; I just mope sadly about the house.
I sneak laxatives into her lunch and stick burrs into her shoes.
I never mention the incident, depriving her of the satisfaction of knowing she got to me.

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In one year, you will go deaf. What kind of music do you listen to in the meantime?
I don't listen to music; instead, I talk to my loved ones in person so I can remember our conversations.
I attend classical concerts across the world.
I go see all of my favorite bands.
I try to listen to as many types of music as possible, especially strange or unusual pieces.

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If you could only wear one scent for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Grapefruit perfume
Irish Spring body wash
Demeter's Dirt cologne
Lavender essential oil

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You have two choices: live a normal life, age at a typical rate and die, or live forever as an eight-year-old. Which one do you choose?
I'd choose to be an eternal eight-year-old, like Kirsten Dunst in "Interview with the Vampire."
I'd want a normal life span. Anything else sounds tragic.
I was planning on living fast and dying young anyway.
This choice is too depressing!

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By accident, you find out that your father-in-law has been training your baby to call him "Daddy." How do you handle it?
I gossip about it with EVERYONE. What a weirdo!
I ask my partner to reason with him. I don't want my baby confused.
I ban him from the house. That man is not right.
I ask if we can switch to "Granddaddy" instead. I don't want my family ripped apart over a minor incident like this.

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Both of the Property Brothers (Jonathan and Drew) are in love with you. They're identical twins, but Jonathan works with his hands while Drew is more of a businessman. Who do you pick?
Drew. I want to be rich, and Drew has the makings of a mogul.
Drew seems tender-hearted, like me. I'm a huge fan of soft boys.
Jonathan 100%. He's skilled, muscular and rugged.
I like Jonathan's strong work ethic. I'm a behind-the-scenes person myself and resent how Drew just makes a few phone calls while Jonathan rebuilds houses with his bare hands.

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What's your biggest regret?
I'm sorry I didn't make out with more cuties in high school.
I wish I spent more time with my parents and grandparents. I love my fam!
I regret not burning my ex's house down. They certainly deserved it.
I wish I'd gone to a better college. Maybe I'd be making $$$ now.

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Would you rather live in a large, poorly built house or a tiny, perfectly renovated apartment?
The tiny apartment. I'm not a homebody, so I don't need much room.
I'd pick the big shabby house. I like a homey, run-down atmosphere.
I'm a slob so I'll take the house, please.
I want a small apartment because I love neatness and order.

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You go out dancing and meet a great person. One problem: they're 30 years older than you. Do you try to date them?
Yup, if they're rich.
Yes, if they've got a beautiful soul.
No. Doesn't sound very hot.
No. I want someone I can grow old with, not someone who's already old.

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Let's say that you're living in "The Truman Show," i.e., your friends and family don't really love you; they're just actors. However, the real world outside is dangerous. Do you stay in your "Truman Show" simulation?
Yes. As long as people act nice, I don't care if they are nice.
No. I'm curious about what's really out there.
No. I want real love, not fake love.
Yes. It's worked so far; why change?

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What's worse: wearing a wool sweater on a summer day or a T-shirt on a snowy day?
T-shirt on a snowy day
They're equally uncomfortable.
Wool sweater on a summer day
To be honest, I'm always cold so I wear wool in the summer IRL.

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One night, you hear rustling outside your window, as if someone were trying to break in. Do you investigate or call the police?
I call the cops!
I quietly get up and grab a baseball bat.
I fling open the curtains and yell, "Hey! What are you doing?"
I listen for a few minutes before doing anything. Maybe it's a false alarm.

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Would you rather find true love or never see your mom again?
True love. I'll miss my mom but come on.
I would never abandon my mommy.
Depends on how cool my mom has been acting lately.
I don't believe in the concept of "the one," so I'll be sticking with my mom, thanks.

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A genie offers you the choice of perfect abs or a perfect butt. Which one do you choose?
Perfect butt. It's what the people want.
Perfect abs. I love midriff shirts!
I've already got both.
What does "perfect" mean? Every butt is perfect to someone.

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If you could start life again at age 17, but had to live it in a rough era such as the 1850s, would you?
No. I love Netflix, gelato and face masks too much.
Would I get to wear old-timey clothes and go on fun adventures?
Yes, that's actually my fantasy. I'd own so many horses!
Hmm, the past is dangerous, and it's possible I could die of cholera or an infected scratch. I'll stay here.

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Let's say you're stranded in the woods. What do you do for food?
Pick delicious berries
Murder deer
Catch rabbits
Forage for edible ferns and mushrooms

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Due to a strange medical condition, your partner will die if you don't massage them for 30 minutes every day. They're attractive, and you love most things about their personality. Do you stay with them?
No. I get bored after massaging someone for five minutes.
Yes. That's not too big a price to pay for my partner's health.
Ugh, no, sounds exhausting.
Of course! What am I, a selfish monster?

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To be honest, some jobs are dumb. If you had to pick one of these dumb jobs as a career, which one would it be?
Glove salesgirl
Pet psychic
Remote, internet-based reiki practitioner
Metric system advocate

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If you had to life the rest of your life in drag as a "Friends" character, which one would you pick?
Joey! How YOU doin'?
Phoebe, I think. I relate to her kooky vibe.
(Sigh) Ross. Like him, I'm surrounded by idiots.
Rachel! She's pretty AND smart.

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Would you rather smell indescribably good or have perfect hair?
I want perfect hair. It's great for the ego.
I'd rather smell good since there's nothing more appealing.
I already have perfect hair, so I'll take the "smelling good" option.
My hair is a mess that I spend too much time on, so you know which option I'm going with.

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Let's say you could rewrite history so that you're the author of one famous song (and get its royalties). Which one do you pick?
"Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson (featuring Bruno Mars)
"I Want To Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
"Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver

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Imagine that you could save the lives of hundreds of people by only eating 700 calories a day. Would you?
Nah. I'd be hungry and cranky all the time and that's no way to live.
I would do it for at least one year.
No, but I'd make up for it by donating to water and hunger charities.
Yes. It sucks but is the only moral choice.

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One day at work, you catch your boss going through your phone. What do you do?
Laugh and pretend like it's funny, but make it clear that she's crossed my boundaries.
Slink away so that she doesn't know I caught her.
Report her to HR.
Ask her what she's doing.

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Would you rather be a superhero who has to work 80 hours a week or a boring person who only has to work 40 hours a week?
Superhero. I'll do anything for attention.
Boring person. You've got to make time to actually live your life.
Superhero. I could never lead a dull life.
Boring person. I'm already boring and don't like change!

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