Should You Date That Goth?

By: Emily Maggrett
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Should You Date That Goth?
Image: DanielBendjy / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

From time to time, we all feel the need to ponder life's essential questions, such as "Am I a good person?" and "Is there meaning to existence, or is everything a random accident?" But surely you'll agree that there's no question more important than this one: "Should you date that goth?"

In this quiz, we're serving spooky drama! We want to help you determine whether it's a good idea for you to date that goth, a bad idea for you to date that goth or if you should just date that goth for a few tempestuous nights this summer. There are no wrong answers here ... If you and that goth are meant to be, mazel tov, but if your love was meant to burn fast and then die out, that's okay too. Together, we're going to find out the truth!

So if you're on the fence about someone who spends way too much of their disposable income on boots, you've come to the right place. Tell us how you feel about Nick Cave, Anne Rice and torn fishnet stockings and we'll reveal whether Edgar Allen Poe would have written a poem about you and your potential new love interest. Ready to explore the darkest corners of your soul? Put Cradle of Filth on the stereo and let's get quizzing!

Is that goth cute?
Oh yeah!
NOPE.
There's something about them ...
Sure, in a puppy-dog kinda way.

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Does that goth like you?
I'm not sure, but I freakin' hope so!
Probably not
Maaaaaybe?
Yes, but I'm not sure what I want to do about it.

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Are you goth?
I'm "entry-level" goth.
I am not (and I never will be!).
No. But I'm willing to change that.
Yes, I've been goth for many years.

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How do you feel about Joy Division?
I would marry Ian Curtis if I could.
Who?
They're good, but they really depress me.
They're the greatest band of all time.

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What's your go-to Friday outfit?
Black jeans, white shirt, Chuck sneakers
Jeans, a colorful cold-shoulder blouse, Birkenstocks
Whatever's clean
Edwardian suit, white blouse, over-the-knee boots

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A mysterious guy in a black outfit invites you to a warehouse party. You say ... ?
"Yesss!"
"No thank you, sir."
"Hmm. Sure, I'll check it out."
"Oh hi, Mark."

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How often do you think about death?
At least once a day
Rarely
Once or twice a week
Death is my constant companion, a black dog trotting at my side.

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In your opinion, is Anne Rice a good writer?
IDK, but the film version of "Interview with the Vampire" slaps.
No, she's a goofy hack.
Yes. I love "The Queen of the Damned."
She's no E. T. A. Hoffmann.

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How much money is too much money to spend on leather boots?
$400
$200
$300
You can't put a price on excellence.

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What's your favorite horror movie?
"The Guest"
Does "Chilling Adventures of Sabrina" count?
"Get Out"
"Rosemary's Baby"

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Torn fishnet stockings: chic or geek?
Chic on the right person
Nasty-looking
Geeky but not a deal-breaker
IDK, but they make my heart go pitter-patter.

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Would dating a "weirdo" embarrass you?
Not at all. I'm a weirdo myself.
Yes. What would my friends say?!
Yeah, but I'd get over it.
My friends are so weird that dating a normal person would embarrass me.

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You and a friend are going out for coffee. Which coffee shop will you patronize?
Some local place
Starbucks
Stumptown
We wouldn't go out; I'd make it on my antique espresso maker at home.

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Who's your favorite fashion designer?
Alexander McQueen
Kate Spade
Vivienne Westwood
Yohji Yamamoto

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Tim Burton movies: yeah or nah?
I love them all!
Ew, they're twee and affected.
I liked "Sweeney Todd."
I don't like anything he's done since "Mars Attacks!"

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What's Bauhaus?
A really sweet font
An English gothic rock band
Uh, doesn't it have something to do with architecture or design or something?
I don't know??

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Have you ever bought a first edition?
Of course not!
Why would I waste money on a book?
Lol, no. I'm broke.
I have an extensive library of first editions. Would you like to see it?

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Are you willing to hang out at Denny's at 2 a.m.?
Yeah, why not?
Yuck, that's when the worst people are there.
Sounds dumb but I'd go if you pressured me enough times.
No, that seems déclassé.

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Where do you shop?
Hot Topic, Torrid or at thrift stores
L.L. Bean
Ross
All of my clothes are custom-made.

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Are you a Scorpio, or do you wish you were?
I'm not a Scorpio, but I want to be one so bad!
Girl, no. They are so high-key. I don't like it.
My rising sign is Scorpio.
I'm a triple Scorpio.

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What's your moral alignment?
True neutral
Lawful neutral
Chaotic good
Lawful evil

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Your new love interest wants you to bring them flowers. What will you get them?
A big bunch of white lilies
Daisies
Red roses
A mixture of purple-black tulips and orchids

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What does your bed look like?
It's small, with white sheets and a black comforter.
It's a sleigh bed with an orange comforter.
I still sleep in a bunk bed.
I repose myself in an 18th-century canopy bed, carved from the finest ebony.

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You have the opportunity to see any goth band live. They can be living or dead, defunct or still active. Who do you pick?
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
My Chemical Romance
Marilyn Manson
Siouxsie & the Banshees

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How would you describe your last boyfriend or girlfriend?
They liked metal a lot and drummed in a band.
As normal, I guess? An average person?
I don't have any exes ... yet.
They were a professional historian who welded together Faraday cages in their spare time.

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What's your daily make-up routine like?
Foundation, concealer, eyeliner, eye shadow, black mascara, lipstick
Lotion, BB cream, concealer, blush, brown mascara, lipstick
I don't wear make-up!
Lotion, sunscreen, primer, foundation, concealer, contouring, false lashes, eyeliner, navy eye shadow, black mascara, black lipstick

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Have you ever written bad poetry?
My poetry is really good, actually.
Gross, no.
I wrote bad poetry in middle school.
I'm a published poet.

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If you were given a free, all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii, would you go?
Yes ... but I'd lie about it to my goth crush.
I'd be an idiot not to go.
Of course, that sounds fun.
No. Think of what the sun would do to my skin!

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Cats or dogs?
Cats
Dogs
Gerbils!
Crows!!!

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Would you rather have your heart crushed by that goth than never date them?
It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all!
Nah. I don't romanticize heartbreak.
On paper, no. In practice ... Well, I can see myself falling for them even if it's a bad idea.
I'm so goth, I like doomed relationships better than successful ones.

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You Got: