Who Said It: 'The Sopranos' Quotes Quiz

Staff

4 Min Quiz

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About This Quiz

"The Sopranos" is a highly quotable show, but about 90 percent of it isn't fit for publication. We did a little digging, though, and found some fairly family-friendly quotes. See if you can guess which character said each line.

"I don't just hate this man. I hate all men."

Artie Bucco

Carmela Soprano
Jennifer Melfi

"I think you have this M.O. where you manipulate spiritually thirsty women, and I think a lot of it is tied up with food somehow, as well as the sexual tension game."

Christopher Moltisanti

Carmela Soprano
Rosalie Aprile

"I got dosed with acid once, back in '68. I was with your dad and them at the Copa … I look over. Your Uncle June's got laser beams shootin' out his eyes!"

Carmine Lupertazzi

Phil Leotardo
Paulie Walnuts

"Why was I born handsome instead of rich?"

Silvio Dante

Christopher Moltisanti
Ralph Cifaretto

"You heard about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."

Uncle Junior

Paulie Walnuts
Christopher Moltisanti

"There's no scraps in my scrapbook."

Carmine Lupertazzi

Johnny Sacrimoni
Phil Leotardo

"Acting is mostly feelings unless the actor's driving a car or sword fighting or something."

Paulie Walnuts

Christopher Moltisanti
Adriana La Cerva

"Bush let al-Qaida escape in the mountains? Then he has us invade some other country?"

Tony Soprano

A. J. Soprano
Silvio Dante

"You're not gonna believe this. The guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians. He was an interior decorator."

Paulie Walnuts

Christopher Moltisanti
Tony Blundetto

"They used to call me Ichabod Crane."

Uncle Junior

Tony Blundetto
Bobby Baccalieri

"The highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive."

Ralph Cifaretto

Silvio Dante
Christopher Moltisanti

"A wrong decision is better than indecision."

Johnny Sacrimoni

Jennifer Melfi
Tony Soprano

"I hear Ginny Sack is having a 90-pound mole taken off her ass."

Phil Leotardo

Ralph Cifaretto
Tony Soprano

"A lot of top guys have dark moods. That Winston Churchill drank a quart of brandy before breakfast."

Paulie Walnuts

Tony Blundetto
Silvio Dante

"It's not the worst thing I ever heard. I was seeing a therapist myself about a year ago. I had some issues. Enough said. I learned some coping skills."

Father Intintola

Paulie Walnuts
Silvio Dante

"Is nothing sacred? What happened to this thing? If this was years ago, would I even have to ask? We bend more rules than the Catholic Church."

Uncle Junior

Johnny Sacrimoni
Phil Leotardo

"This alteration you had with him … you're at the precipice, Tony, of an enormous crossroad."

Little Carmine Lupertazzi

Silvio Dante
Christopher Moltisanti

"You want someone who's sensitive to your needs, but still decisive enough for the occasional grope in the closet."

Jennifer Melfi

Carmela Soprano
Rosalie Aprile

"Every day is a gift. It's just, does it have to be a pair of socks?"

Uncle Junior

Paulie Walnuts
Tony Soprano

"Whatever you do, don't engage Silvio in conversation."

Paulie Walnuts

Christopher Moltisanti
Carmela Soprano

"In the midst of death, we are in life, huh? Or is it the other way around?"

Tony Soprano

Tony Blundetto
Paulie Walnuts

"I'm like King Midas in reverse."

Tony Soprano

Uncle Junior
Phil Leotardo

"I told him, someone owes you money, even if you gotta crawl, you get it."

Johnny Sacrimoni

Vito Spatafore
Paulie Walnuts

"The only thing I ever found in the street was my first wife."

Eugene Pontecorvo

Richie Aprile
Bobby Baccalieri

"What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?"

Jennifer Melfi

Carmela Soprano
Tony Soprano

"You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together, and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven, and 6,000 years is nothing in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here."

Uncle Junior

Christopher Moltisanti
Paulie Walnuts

"If you can quote the rules, then you can obey them."

Phil Leotardo

Uncle Junior
Tony Soprano

"When I was a little kid, no older than that, I always used to wonder why nobody collected prayer cards like they collected baseball cards."

Phil Leotardo

Carmine Lupertazzi
Uncle Junior

"My daughter got off on this feminist rant. She told me it's demeaning for a girl to be working at the Bing. The fact that these girls make $1,500 a week has no bearing with my <i>principessa</i>."

Silvio Dante

Paulie Walnuts
Gigi Cestone

"Do you think making a hamburger out of me would make you feel better?"

Ralph Cifaretto

Big Pussy Bonpensiero
Jennifer Melfi

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